The Peacekeeper's Son
by nonchalant confession
Summary: What if someone other than Peeta Mellark saved Katniss Everdeen on that fateful day when she was eleven years old? Katniss/Gale/OC love triangle.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I came up with the idea to write this story in August but recently started this story after dealing with some writer's block on my other story. I decided to play with the idea of someone other than Peeta Mellark helping Katniss on that fateful day when she was eleven years old. I know there will be some breaks in canon (like Peacekeepers having families), but if you can accept that, I think you will really enjoy this story. :)**

Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 1

Hopeless. I have never fully understood what that word meant until now. I had done all I could do to keep my family going. It wasn't easy with my father gone. None of us had ever expected him to die in a mining accident even though we knew it was a dangerous job.

That was the major event that led me to this moment. My mother can barely get out of bed and when she does, it's just to stare at the wall or his picture. My sister, Prim, is only seven. That leaves me as the provider. Not that I have been successful. I'm still a few a months shy of being able to apply for tesserae. It's the only way for me to get food without stealing. I tried that once, only to have gotten caught. It was so horrifying that I haven't tried it since.

The only other option is to trade at the Hob. My mother gave me some of Prim's baby clothes to trade but unfortunately, no one wanted them. On my way back through town, I accidently dropped them in the mud. I didn't bother to bend down to pick them up. If I had, I don't think I would have been able to stand back up. Instead, I continue my way home, walking behind the merchant shops searching for trashcans that hadn't been emptied.

The garbage must have been collected. The baker's wife was awfully nasty to me and surprised me so much that I fell back into the mud. I was too weak to stand so instead, I dragged myself to a tree and leaned against it. I haven't moved since. It is a pretty tree. Its leaves are bright orange and red. This place would be a good place to spend my final hours because I'm sure that's all I have left. I stare up at the foliage as I let the colors blur together, creating a haze of colors.

I then think about my sister. She is probably waiting for me to get back. I bargain with myself that in ten minutes, I will get up and walk home. In the mean time, I pull my legs in closer to my chest and cry into my folded arms. I do not want to tell her that I failed, that there wasn't any food left to eat.

"Why are you crying?" says a voice from above me. I jump as I hear this. Before speaking, I look up to see a boy around my age standing in front of me. He doesn't look like he belongs in District 12. For one thing, he is dressed too nicely. He even has rain boots and a hooded rain jacket. No one in District 12 could afford specific items to wear just for this weather.

"I'm hungry." I tell him.

"Oh is that all?" he asks like it isn't a big deal. "We have lots of food at my house. You can have some if you like."

At first I am not sure if he really means it. He then puts out his hand that isn't holding his umbrella and helps me up. Now that I am closer to him, I can see his bright blue eyes and a tuft of blonde hair sticking out from under his hood. He offers to share his umbrella with me but I say no. I need the rain to help wash off the mud. He starts walking and I walk alongside him until we are standing at Peacekeeper Village. This is where they all live. I halt at once; my parents had always told me to stay away from there. Peacekeepers aren't the nicest of people, especially to those that live in the Seam. The boy takes a few steps before he realizes I am not with him.

"Why did you stop?" he asks, clearly confused. He must not know how things work here.

"I…I don't know." I stammer.

"Well come on. We don't want you to catch a cold. This type of weather will do that you know."

I hurry along, not heeding my parents' advice. At this point, I do not care about getting caught. We take the back path to his house, passing the back yards until we reach a house about ten times larger than mine. He opens the back door and starts inside.

"Mom? Dad?" he calls. There is no answer. He steps inside. I stand on the stairs, looking down, noticing the mud that is still on my pants and shoes. "Are you coming inside?" he asks with a smile.

"I'm muddy."

"It's fine. It's only the mud room anyway." he says lightheartedly. I make my way inside to a small room with hooks to hang jackets and shelves for shoes. He tells me to wait there for him. He will probably return with a few items of food and then send me on my way. I am surprised when he returns with a pile of fresh laundry in his hands.

"You can change in the bathroom. It's the door right behind you."

"Change?" I ask, confused.

"Yes, we can't have you tracking mud into the kitchen. Sorry if my clothes are a little big on you. I don't have any sisters." he says.

"No, it's fine." I say to be polite. I quickly make my way into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I strip the wet clothes from my body, replacing them with the warm, dry clothes. I can't help but notice how wonderful they smell. I spend the next minute holding the fabric up to my nose, taking in the scent. It smells like a field full of flowers, but even better. When I hear a knock on the door, I realize he is still waiting for me. I open the door and he is holding a plastic hamper in his arms.

"Throw your clothes in and I'll wash them for you." he says. I'm not sure why he is being so nice to me. To be honest, I was starting to think this is either a dream or a trap.

He opens another door in the mudroom to reveal a room that was just for washing and drying laundry. Once he starts the washer, he takes me to the kitchen. It was the most beautiful room I have ever seen. It was bright and white and even has a chandelier hanging over a large counter. He leads me to another door, revealing a room filled with food that he called a pantry. He grabbed a few things off the shelf and opened them.

"Help yourself." he says. He leaves the pantry for a few minutes and returns with a plate filled with meats and cheeses. He sits it in the middle of the floor and then sits across from me.

"What is your name?" I ask him after I realize that we failed to make introductions.

"Merrick." he replied.

"That's a funny name." I say. I catch myself mid-laugh when I realize how rude I am being. He invited me in his house, clothed me, and fed me and now I'm making fun of him. "I'm sorry. I've just never heard that name before." By now I am most likely blushing.

"What's your name?" he asks with intrigue.

"Katniss." I say to him. He laughs back at me.

"How did your parents come up with that?" He waits eagerly for my answer.

"I'm named after a plant."

"Never heard of it. I guess there are worse plant to be named after."

"I have a sister. She's named after a flower. Primrose is her name."

"I think I like Katniss better." he says with a smile. He's probably just saying it to make me feel better but I don't mind. I'm too focused on the food, anyway.

"What about you? Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, I wish. It's just me."

"Why do you live in such a big house?"

"It's not my real house. My dad is here for work so we are living here for now."

"How long are you here for?" I ask. He shrugs his shoulders.

"Til he's done training the new Peacekeepers, I guess."

"If you're not from here, what District are you from?"

"District 2." he answers. It all makes sense now. He was from one of the richest districts in Panem. That's why he was dressed so well.

"How do you like District 12?"

"It's ok, I guess. I miss my friends. I don't have any friends here."

"I don't have any friends here, either." I tell him though I'm not sure why…maybe to make him feel better. He leaves the room again, this time to place my clothes in the dryer. I wish I were wearing them right now so I could stuff them with food to take home to Prim. It feels wrong to be eating such a feast without her.

When Merrick returns, we resume our conversation. We talk about our fathers. I tell him my father recently died and he tells me he's sorry. I tell him about why I was crying with more details included this time. It seems like he has a hard time grasping the fact that we don't have food. Everyone in his District always has enough food. It must be nice. He tells me that his father is a Peacekeeper and is pretty high up in rank. They travel to several Districts throughout the year so he can teach the Peacekeepers about the latest procedures. I don't mention how our District hates Peacekeepers. I just listen to him talk, while I continue to eat the piece of cake he brought to me from the fridge.

Once we've shared our backgrounds and the cake is finished, I know it is time for me to go. The last thing I need is for his parents to see me there. He hands me my clothes from the dryer. I change into them in the bathroom and neatly fold the ones he lent me. I walk out of the bathroom and hand him the pile, which he places on the shelf. He walks me to the back door and opens it. The rain has slowed to a light drizzle. We stand there awkwardly for about a minute, as if neither of us is ready to say goodbye.

"Thank you for the food." I say, looking into his eyes. I'm still not sure why he had done it.

"No, thank you—for the company. It was nice to have someone to talk to." I give him a small wave before turning out the door. I am halfway across his backyard when I hear him call my name. I finally turn around after the second time he's said it. I wait for him to catch up to me.

"I almost forgot. For Primrose." he said holding out a brown paper bag.

"Thank you." I say, holding back my tears. I didn't expect that. He turns around and starts walking back to his house while I resume my walking. Just as I am reaching the path, I hear my name again. Now he is running to catch up with me.

"Katniss. I was thinking maybe we could hang out sometime." he said. I nod to be polite, not certain if we actually will see each other again.

"Where can I find you?" he asks. He must mean it.

"I get out of school at 3. I walk through town to get home." I say. I don't tell him where I live. He'd never be able to find my house. It doesn't matter anyways. A girl from the Seam cannot be friends with a Peacekeeper's son.

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**So, what did you think of the first chapter? I would love to get some feedback about what you think about the concept of the story. Do you like it? I'm really interested in what readers will think since this isn't a Katniss/Peeta or Katniss/Gale FanFic.**

**P.S. I plan on updating this once a week. If you get bored in the meantime, you can always check out my other stories :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews! I know I said I am updating weekly but I decided to give you Chapter 2 early. I have lot of interesting things planned for this story but the next few chapters are more to show their friendship growing. I hope you still like them as well! Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 2

The school bell rings shrilly through my classroom, indicating that the school day is over. I quickly pack my things and make my way outside. It is not until I'm in the schoolyard that I realize that Prim is not here. The lower grades had off from school today. I begin my walk to the center of town. It is quite a long walk home since the school is on the opposite side of the district. As I walk, I notice how much I miss Prim's company. At age 7, she is a chatterbox and fills me in on the events of her day. My mind wanders to thinking about yesterday and Merrick, and his kindness. Prim was overjoyed to receive the bag of food from him. I didn't mention that it came from him. I knew my mother would have a heart attack if she knew where it really came from.

As I'm walking past the merchants' shops, I hear someone calling my name. I'm not really sure whom it could be since I have no friends. I look to my right and see Merrick running towards me from the candy shop with a small bag in his hand. I move to the side of the street and wait for him.

"Here." he says, handing me a caramel. I place it in my mouth and let it slowly dissolve.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Waiting for you. You said you get out of school at 3." I did say that but I never thought he would actually show up.

"Why do you have a backpack? Did you have school?" I ask him.

"No, it has stuff for us." he says.

"What kind of stuff?"

"You'll see." he says with a grin. We walk through the rest of town in silence. As we do, I look down and become aware of the fact that I am wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday. I feel myself become very self-conscious, pulling on my sweater as I wonder if he has noticed. So far he has failed to point it out.

"Is everything ok?" he asks. He must have seen me fidgeting.

"Everything is fine." I say, trying to act cool.

"Katniss if you don't want to hang out, it's fine." he tells me. His eyes tell a different story. They are silently hoping that it isn't the case.

"No Merrick, it wasn't that. I'm sorry if you thought that."

"What is it then?"

"Just me worrying about stupid stuff. Come on, let's go this way." I take him to a small area of woods inside the beginning of the Seam that is somewhat secluded. The last thing I need is for someone to see me hanging out with him.

"So what's in the bag?" I ask him again.

"I brought us a snack and some games to play." he says.

"I know the perfect place for that." I say with a smile. I take his hand and lead him to my favorite climbing tree. I start to climb and look down to see him still on the ground. "You coming?"

"Katniss, I've never climbed a tree before." he says nervously.

"I thought all boys knew how to climb trees." I remark as I hop down to the forest floor.

"Not in District 2."

I intertwine my hands and tell him to step on them so I can help him up. He looks at me skeptically but eventually does it. He stands on branch, clinging to the trunk as he waits for me. Within a matter of seconds I am beside him. I then guide him not too far up to a spot where there are two sturdy branches next to each other. I help him sit down, telling him to straddle the branch. I then go to mine, leaning against the base as I stretch out my legs.

"You're not afraid of falling?" he asks with a worried expression.

"I've been climbing trees for years. So what is for snack?"

"Sandwiches." he says pulling out two rectangular packages. He passes me mine before unwrapping his own. I never thought of a sandwich as a snack. Yesterday's snack was rather large too. At this rate, it was a wonder how he stayed so slim. As we eat, he asks me about my day and what my school is like. I ask him if he goes to school and he tells me he has a tutor that comes to his house daily. He says my school sounds much better. I finish eating when I am halfway done my sandwich, tucking away the rest of it for Prim.

"What games did you bring?" I ask curiously.

"Cards."

"I've never played cards before."

"Never?"

"Never." I repeat. "I'll come over there." I stand up and leap over to his branch.

"Katniss!" he shouts with panic before I land, perfectly balanced. "You scared me." he says as he places his hand over his chest, taking a few breaths to calm himself.

"You didn't think I could make it."

"Please, never do that again."

"Relax Merrick, I do it all the time." I say as I sit down on the branch, facing him. He still looks scared. "Ok, fine, I won't. So what game are we playing?"

"We could play War. That's an easy game." he says. I raise my eyebrow, wondering what exactly it entails. "Don't worry, it's not as violent as it sounds." He then explained the rules and we start to play. I'm surprised at how long the game lasts. It takes an hour before there is a winner, which is actually me.

"Should we play another game?" Merrick asks me as he shuffles the cards. I look to the sun and can tell that evening is starting to settle in.

"I should be getting home. My mother is probably worrying about me."

"Oh yeah, right." he says, a hint of disappointment in his voice. "I might need some help out of here." I help him down showing him branches to step on. When we get to the lowest branch, we jump off together, landing firmly on the ground. I walk him back to where the Seam meets the town.

"Can you make it back from here?"

"Yes, I know the way."

"Thanks for today." I say.

"Maybe we could do it again tomorrow?" Merrick suggests hopefully.

"Ok, but I need to take my sister home first. I'll meet you here around 4."

"Ok, see you tomorrow." he says with a smile before starting off down the path. Once he's out of sight, I begin my journey home. As soon as I have one foot in the door, Prim has her arms around my waist.

"Katniss where were you?" she asks with concern.

"I was taking a walk. Oh, I have something for you." I tell her as I reach into my coat pocket and hand her the half a sandwich. She thanks me with a hug before skipping to the kitchen table. When I ask her where mother is, she told me she's already asleep. The rest of the night, I spend with Prim, checking her homework, getting her ready for bed and reading her the only storybook we own. It has about twenty fairytales, which by now she has memorized by heart. She likes the ones with the princesses best. I let her choose and then read until I look down to find her fast asleep. I turn off the light and leave the room, not yet ready to fall asleep.

I go outside and walk to the meadow with a blanket under my arm. When I reach the empty space, I wrap the blanket around my body and lie in the grass, staring at the sky. The moon is nowhere in sight, leaving the stars bright and magnificent. As I take in their beauty, my mind wanders. I think about my new friend and how nice it feels to finally have someone that I talk to. Merrick and I aren't very good friends but maybe one day we could be.

I quickly remember that he won't be around forever. Eventually, he will have to go back to District 2, leaving me all alone. I try not to think about that. Besides, there are more important things to think about such as how to get food now that we're low on money. There is always the woods, but I am kind of scared to hunt there by myself. Every time I had been before, I was with my father. I knew he would keep me safe from anything that might be lurking there. Maybe one day, if I'm desperate enough, I will try to hunt there.

After lots of thinking, I stand up and make my way back to my house, with the blanket wrapped around me. The nights are starting to get cold. Once inside, I go to the bed I share with my sister and hold her close as I quickly drift off to sleep.

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**Chapter 3 will be up early next week. Don't forget to review ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed so far! I'm glad you are enjoying it. I am certainly enjoying writing this story and your feedback makes me want to write and update even sooner. :)**

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Chapter 3

The next few weeks pass by quickly and soon winter has settled in. Even the cold can't keep Merrick and I from spending time together. On the days when we are outside, Merrick brings me extra winter items such as gloves and a hat to keep me warm. He also brings a thermos of hot chocolate as well, which is something I always look forward to. I had never tasted it before meeting him. On the days his parents aren't home, we spend time at his house. That is where I am headed right now. I make sure to keep myself hidden once I am in the Peacekeeper Village. I still do not know what would happen if I should be caught there. I don't intend on finding out either. As I walk across his backyard, I can see him waiting for me on the back steps. He smiles warmly and walks towards me. Once I am close enough to him, he wraps me in his arms. At first this bothered me, the way he'd hug me when greeting me. The only people I was used to hugging were Prim, and on occasion my mother. I learned to accept it and now I actually don't mind it. It feels nice sometimes. He grabs my hand and quickly leads me into his house.

Once inside, we remove our outerwear and head straight for the kitchen where he already has a snack waiting for us. As we sit on the countertop and eat, I tell him about my school day and everything that happened. I'm not one to gossip but I do share the funny things I saw happen. He seems to like my stories. It says it reminds him of his old school back in District 2.

After we finish our snack, we start towards his room. On a table in the entryway, I see something I had never noticed before, a photograph. I walked closer towards it and take it into my hands.

"Who is this?" I ask with curiosity as I look at the young couple.

"My parents…on their wedding day." he replies.

"Oh, ok. You know you kind of look like your dad." I tell him as I hold the frame next to his face.

"Yeah, I know." he says, in a way that tells me that he's probably been told that a lot.

"So this is what you'll look like…when you get older." I say staring at the young man in the photo. He looks quite handsome actually. He looks tall and strong, something that Merrick currently is not. He still seems a little lanky to me. Maybe that will change one day.

"I guess only time will tell." he says as he take the frame from me and places it back to its original spot. We run up the staircase until we are in his room. He goes straight to his fort in the corner of his room that he had made out of spare blankets and sheets. He climbs inside and I join him as we lay on our designated sides. It's actually quite nice in here. It is a good place for talking.

"Merrick, what's it like in District 2?" I ask him. It's something I've been wondering for a while now but had felt comfortable enough to ask him. Now that we know each other better, I think it's ok to ask.

"It nice. It's in the mountains. The mountains are big there. So much higher than the little ones you have here. And in the winter there is snow…lots of it. It's really nice. There are little villages nestled in the mountains by the quarries."

"What are quarries?" I ask, unfamiliar with the word.

"They're where they get stone for buildings and floors and other stuff." he tell me.

"You would love District 2, Katniss. It's so beautiful." he says placing his arms behind his head.

"Do you miss it?"

"Yes I do, but District 12 is nice too." he tells me, just to be polite, I think. There is nothing really spectacular about my district. He then tells me he has a picture and hurries out of his fort to get it. He brings back a frame with a snow covered mountain and a lake.

"Wow." I say as I take in the details. It really is an incredible place.

"Maybe I can take you there one day." he says with a smile.

"Yeah, maybe." I tell him. I don't tell him what I am really thinking. About how I will never leave District 12. When would I ever get permission from the Capitol to do that? They wouldn't allow it just so I could go on a trip with my friend. It doesn't matter how important his father is, they still would deny the request.

The rest of the afternoon, we sit in his fort, talking and laughing and playing games. I really am lucky to have found him, or should I say, I am lucky that he found me. Because that is what he did. He found me crying under the tree that day and took care of me. I couldn't ask for a better friend.

When his alarm clock beeps at 5pm, I know it's time to go again. We make plans to meet at the edge of town, near the beginning of the Seam tomorrow. It's supposed to be a nice day and we might as well enjoy the mild weather when we can. I say goodbye and carefully make my way home.

When I meet Merrick the next day, I can't help but notice a change. The boy who is always smiling wears a sullen expression as he kicks a patch of grass as he waits for me to meet him. I ask him what's wrong but all he does is motion me to follow him. He doesn't even wait for me to walk beside him; he just trudges along. He leads me to the meadow. He's been here so long that he knows his way around District 12 pretty well now. He sits on the grass and stares out into the tree line with his brow furrowed as he bites on his lower lip. I sit beside him silently wondering why he acting this way. My first thought is that his parents found out about me. He brought me here to tell me he cannot see me anymore. As the minutes pass, I grow more impatient with his silence.

"Merrick, why did you bring me all the way out here." I ask him, this time not hiding my annoyance.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." he says, still not making eye contact. I feel my heart sink. He's going back to District 2. I cannot let him show how upset I am. The last thing he needs is to worry about my feelings.

"That's great, you'll get to see your friends again." I say with fake enthusiasm.

"Katniss you know what this means, right?" he said ignoring my last comment as he turns to look me in the eyes. He looks like he's ready to cry. "It means I have to leave you."

"I know." I said letting go of my 'I'm happy for you' act. I look down at my hands as fidget with a blade of grass. "When will you be back?"

"I don't know…" he trailed off. "This could be it."

"I'll miss you." I say.

"I'll miss you too." he says as he leans against me.

"You have other friends. I'm sure they miss you. They will be happy to have you back."

"Yeah but you're different."

"How?" I ask.

"Well for one thing you're a girl."

"What else?"

"They can't climb trees like you can." he said with his smile returning.

"You can teach them." I say, giving him an easy solution.

"I can't help but think what will happen to you." he says barely audible.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Nothing." he says, dodging my question. I don't push him for an answer.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." I say taking his hand. He squeezes his hand tightly around mine, not letting go.

"I have to get back. We are having dinner with the Head Peacekeeper tonight."

"Ok."

"Katniss will you meet me by our tree tonight?"

"Yes, what time?"

"Nine."

"I'll be there." I tell him. There's no way I'd turn down one last chance to be with him. He stands up and then helps me up. As soon as I have gained my balance, he pulls me closer for a hug. It lasts longer than our other hugs. I suppose he is trying to make every last moment count. When he finally breaks his embrace, he quickly turns and walks away, leaving me in the meadow all alone.

I go back to my house, still feeling downhearted. Tomorrow he will be out of my life, probably for good. I'll go back to my former life, friendless and struggling to survive. I suppose now I'll have start hunting in the woods, by myself. Inside my house, my mother is making soup. I look into the pot and see water and a few vegetables. It's not much of a meal but it's better than nothing at all. I eat with my family and help Prim get ready for bed. My mother turns in for bed around the same time. Once the house is quiet, I make my way into the night to meet him.

I get there early and find him already waiting for me. He's sitting at the base of a tree with two large bags sandwiching him. He flashes a tragic smile before standing up. I run towards him and he hugs me once again. When he tries to pull away, I pull him closer. I'm not ready for our greeting to end.

"Katniss I can't breathe." he says. It not until then that I realize how tightly my arms are wrapped around him. I let go and back away one step. He then gives me a playful smile and I wonder what he could possibly be thinking. It doesn't take long before I know. "Race you to the high branch." he says as he starts for the tree. He jumps up and wraps his arms around the lowest branch. I follow closely behind him. It's amazing how good he is at climbing now considering he had no experience when I first met him. I'm still quicker than him and beat him to the branch we usually stop at. He stands on a branch opposite of mine, holding onto the base as he moves his body, causing the whole tree to sway. Other people might be scared of falling but we don't mind. We sit down on the branches and look up at the moon, which is full tonight. When I tell him I don't feel like being so high up, he leads the way back to the ground.

We lean against the base of the tree saying nothing to each other. Nothing we could say would be important. This is most likely the last time we will ever see each other again. It's not like we would need to remember it anyway. That's what I plan to do about him. Forget him as quickly as possible. Convince myself that he never really existed. My attention turns back to the two bags that are lying near us.

"What's with the bags? You're not planning on running away, are you?"

"No, they are for you." he tells me. I open the bag nearest to me and find if filled to the brim with food. I really don't know what to say. It's enough food to last us for a month, maybe two if I ration it out properly.

"Why did you bring this?" I asked him gently.

"Because I won't be around anymore Katniss. I couldn't let anything happen to you." he murmurs softly with his mouth close to my ear. I know what he means. He couldn't let me starve. The only words that come to my lips are thank you. It's not much. I can't really express all the gratitude I feel towards him. He offers to help me carry the bags and this time I let him.

We walk down the path of the Seam again in silence. We both know the moment is coming soon, our last moment together. I walk a little slower as we approach my house, clinging onto the minutes. He lowers the bags on my front porch walks closer to me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and begins his final words.

"If I ever come back here, I swear I'll find you." he promises. "Even if it's five or ten years from now, I promise I will find you."

"I might not be around that long." I tell him with a sigh. He pulls away from me and looks me in my eyes.

"You have to survive, Katniss. No matter what it takes. Find someone to take care of you or find a way to take care of yourself. The last thing I want is to find you crying by yourself under a tree." he says, recounting their first meeting.

"Ok, I will." I say as I nod my head. Another thought crosses my mind. "How will you find me?"

"I'll look for a girl that looks like you do now…but older." he explains. I can't help but laugh at his answer.

"Sound like you have it all figured out." I say with a chuckle.

"Your braid. I'll look for the girl with the braid." he tells me.

"What if I don't wear my hair that way, when I'm older."

"Keep it for me…so I'll know." he says in a whisper. I nod my head, not sure if I'll really stick to this agreement. He doesn't need to know that.

"What about me? If you come back, how can I recognize you?"

"You already know what I'll look like. The wedding picture, remember?" I nod my head remembering back to the day that I held up his parents' wedding photo next to his face.

"I should get inside. It's late." I say. I don't want to draw this out any longer. It will only make it more difficult to say goodbye. "Merrick, I just wanted to say thank you for everything."

"Thank you too. For always being there." he says. We hug one last time. As soon as he ends the embrace, he jogs down my porch and down the path towards home. I take the bags into my house, leaving them by the doorway. I'm too tired to unpack them. That can wait until tomorrow. Right now I just want to sleep and to dream about a place where I'm always happy and where my best friend would never have to leave me.

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**Merrick's gone :( don't worry though. This isn't the last of their relationship. Next Chapter is where it starts to get really good :)**

**BTW, it's my birthday today so if you really want to make my day, please leave me a review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and is enjoying their day off! Here is the latest chapter. There is a time lapse. Katniss is 15 now. Also, I there is something else I feel I should mention. Gale enters the picture in this chapter and I just want to remind you that this isn't a Galeniss story, so don't expect some big romance to happen between them (although something might happen in the future...you know how impulsive Gale Hawthorne is). Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 4

Last night I had a dream about a boy I used to know, a boy that I had not seen in years. In the dream, I was eleven years old again, running with him down the path in the Seam to our tree. We swung from the branches and I sang to him while he laid down with his head in my lap as he tried to take a short nap. It's hard to believe that was actually my life, that that boy was real and actually my friend.

I sit up from my bed, remembering that I have somewhere to be. It was another Reaping day, which meant I had to start earlier if I planned on hunting. I make my way to the fence and slide under the small gap between the fence and the ground. After I retrieve my bow and quiver, I make my way to my rock in a small field while I wait for him. Not the boy with the blonde hair and the warm smile. He's hundreds of miles away. I wait for another boy, a boy I met shortly after he returned to District 2.

His name is Gale and my meeting him was just as accidental as meeting Merrick. I met him on one of my first hunting trips into the woods. It wasn't the most pleasant of introductions. He thought I was trying to steal from him. It took a while for him to warm up to me, but we have been inseparable ever since. He is different from Merrick in just about every way possible, starting with looks. Gale's features are much darker with his olive skin and his dark brown hair. He's also much taller but then again, I have no idea how tall Merrick would be now. Last time I saw him he was only twelve. He'd look much different now.

Gale's also a lot more serious than Merrick was, except for the time he is in the woods. It's almost as if he transformed into a different person when we are out there. He jokes around with me and even smiles sometimes. He's also as stubborn as hell. It's not hard for me to understand why Gale behaves this way. He's had a rough life. He lost his father in the same accident as my own father and has four other people to take care of. It's a lot of weight for him to carry on his shoulders but he manages, somehow.

I see Gale emerge from the woods, joining me at the rock.

"You're late." I tell him.

"I'm never late." he disagrees. I let it go. It's not worth arguing over something so trivial on a reaping day. We eat some berries from the bush behind us and mimic the Capitol accent as we speak.

"I wonder what Effie Trinket will be wearing today." I say to him. Last year was her first year as an escort for our District. She definitely has her own unique sense of style. Or maybe that's how everyone in the Capitol dresses. I can't be certain about that, but it would be a spectacle to see that much boldness in one place.

"Whatever it is I'm sure you won't be able to miss her." Gale said with a laugh. "Happy Hunger Games, Catnip. And may the odds—" he says as he throws a berry in the air. I lean back and catch the berry in mouth before completing the sentence "—be _ever_ in your favor."

When we've had our fill of the berries, we venture further into the woods to begin our hunting. We check the snare line that Gale had set up yesterday and find a few rabbits and a squirrel. Gale ventures to the lake to fish from the waters while I collect a small basket of strawberries. We then hull our goods back to District 12, stopping at the Hob first. We trade the fish for a large loaf of bread, and give Greasy Sae a rabbit in exchange for two bowls of stew she had just finished making. We keep the other rabbits for our small feast that our families will share during our celebration after the reaping. At least we hope to be celebrating, as long as Gale and I manage to avoid our names being called.

We then walk through town on our way to the mayor's house to drop off the strawberries. He always loves it when we bring them and his daughter Madge always offers us something nice in return. As we walk, the square is bustling with people buying and trading what they need before the shops close for the day. It's almost like a game trying to navigate through the maze of people. I try my best to keep up with Gale, who hates this part of town and for good reason. The residents are better off than people in the Seam and often turn up their noses to people like us.

"Gale, wait!" I shout, hoping he can hear me over the noise. I must not have been paying attention because I run into someone with such a force that I almost fall down. I cling on to their arm as I regain my balance and raise my head to apologize to the person I collided with. Only when I look up, I am left frozen. Staring back at me is the boy from the photograph. He looks at me, equally shocked and then a smile spreads on his face; that warm, gentle smile that I associate with him…Merrick. My mouth hangs open as I try to think of something to say only no words seem to come to me. I guess I could start with a greeting. Just as I am about to say hello to him, I feel someone's hand join with mine, pulling me away.

"Come on Katniss, we have to go." Gale says as he takes me away from the boy that was my best friend all those years ago. I then realize that I need to go back to him, at least to make plans to meet with him during another time. I yank on Gale's arm and tell him to stop for a second.

"I forgot something at the Hob. I need to go back and get it." I fib. "You take the strawberries to the Undersee home." I hold out my bag, which has the basket of fruit inside it.

"No you go to the Undersees' and I'll go back to the Hob to get it." he says.

"Gale." I huff at him. Sometimes he just has to make things so difficult.

"What, she's your friend." he tells me. It's true; we are sort of friends. We sit with each other at lunch, and work with each other on projects.

"Just do it." I tell him as I shove the bag into his arms before walking away.

I walk quickly in the opposite direction as I retrace my steps. I can only hope that in the few minutes that have passed, he hasn't wandered too far. I find him sitting on the edge of the fountain, not too far from the spot of our collision. He has a thoughtful look on his face as his chin rests on his fist. He must still be thinking about our little run in. He must have heard Gale say my name, confirming that it was in fact me. I nervously walk towards him, still not sure what we'll say to each other. I stand in front of him but he's still too deep in thought to notice. I gently kick his foot, breaking his concentration. He looks up and me and his smile returns. I motion for him to follow me, out of the way of all these people. They are probably too preoccupied to notice use but we should still use caution. We walk until we are on a small road behind the merchants' shops. As soon as I turn to face him, I find myself wrapped in his arms. He lets out a breath of relief as he holds me close to him. I wrap my arms around his torso, reciprocating the hug. I can't help but notice his defined muscles under his thin cotton shirt. His body feels so different. Last time I saw him, he was like a stick.

"I was starting to think I wouldn't be able to find you." he murmurs to me. His voice is much deeper than the last time I saw him. It has a nice cadence to it. It almost sounds like singing.

"How long have you been here?" I ask him, slowly stepping back so I can see his face. I only hope that I haven't lost too much time with him.

"Just a few days." he tells me. "You look the same…only older." he says with a laugh. I let out a light giggle as I remember him saying something similar to that. He then reaches his hand towards me, taking my braid in his hand. "And you kept your braid…just like you said you would."

"And you look just like your father's picture." I tell him because it's true. He looks exactly as his father had looked in that photograph he showed me 4 years ago.

"This place…it looks familiar." he says looking around, trying to place it.

"It is. Over there is where we first met." I tell him, pointing to a tree behind the Mellark's bakery. I watch him walk over to the tree and follow behind him. He rests his hand against the bark, leaning his weight against the tree. He looks down to the ground. He looks like he's ready to start a serious conversation with me about that day he found me all those years ago. Unfortunately, we do not have time for this. I have to start home to ready myself for the Reaping. I stop him before he begins to talk.

"I'm sorry to cut this short, but I have to be going. It _is_ a Reaping day."

"Oh yes, it is, isn't it." he says with disappointment. "How many times is your name going in?" he asks with concern.

"Sixteen." I tell him. I can tell by his reaction that he doesn't like my answer. "We can meet later tonight to talk…if I don't get picked." He doesn't say anything, only nods. "Eleven o'clock by our tree, if you still remember where it is."

"I remember." he tells me with a smile. "Good luck, Katniss." He gives me one last hug before starting towards his home. I walk back to the Seam when a thought crosses my mind. If it's Reaping Day, why isn't he at home in District 2?

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**Yay, Merrick's back! As always, reviews are appreciated ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**So glad that so many of you are enjoying the story so far and I love reading your reviews. Just wanted to remind you that there will be breaks in canon in this story...it will def. make it interesting ;)**

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 5

It's late when we finally leave the Hawthorne house. Our celebration lasted late into the night. After our feast, we sat around the living room, sharing stories from our past. Gale made sure to share some embarrassing stories about me, much to my chagrin. Our younger siblings seemed to enjoy hearing them as the rolled on the floor with laughter. I put him in his place by telling equally embarrassing stories about him that I have collected over the years.

As soon as we make our way into our house my mother goes straight to her bedroom with Prim following her. I walk into my room where the only light is the moon shining in through my window. I get ready to meet Merrick. I start by removing my Reaping dress. It's too formal for the occasion and I want to shed any reminders of this day. I yank on a pair of pants and a long sleeved shirt. Even though it is May, the nights have been cooler than usual. I then go to the mirror to find my hair still in the intricate braids that my mother wove in my hair earlier that day. I remove the pins holding them in place and unweave her handiwork. I move my hands to gather my hair when I notice the gentle wave now flowing down my locks. It looks rather nice, a change from the usual. I let me hands fall to my side as I decide not to disrupt them. I pull my boots from my closet tiptoe to my front porch where I slide them on. Next thing I know, I am running to our tree.

When it comes into view, I see Merrick waiting for me. He is sitting on a blanket that he spread on the ground. I sit beside him and rest my back against the trunk. I quickly avert my eyes when he catches me staring at the basket to his right.

"I wasn't sure if you had eaten yet." he says, with a hint of embarrassment. I let it go. I know he only brought it because he cares.

"I think reaping days are the only day of the year where we eat well." I tell him. He looks guilty once I say this. He's probably used to meals like this on a daily basis. It's not why I said it. I wasn't making a jab at his way of life. I quickly try to find something to say to lift his spirits. "I haven't had dessert yet. You don't happen to have anything in that basket to you." A grin returns to his face as he opens the lid and sifts through the basket. He pulls out a small box that has two cupcakes inside. They look like they are from the bakery. I had always seen them in the window, dreaming of how delicious they tasted. He lets me choose first, before taking the remaining cupcake. I take a bite and savor the taste in my mouth. It's better than I could have ever imagined. The combination of chocolate and the sweet, fluffy icing is amazing. I hear a stifled laugh come from my right and I look over to see what the fuss is about.

"What's so funny?" I ask him.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone enjoy eating something so much in my life." he said as he lets out a hearty laugh.

"What, a girl isn't allowed to enjoy a little dessert." I joke with him.

"You don't have to be so vocal about it. It's only dessert." he says taking a bite on his own cupcake followed by a prolonged 'Mmm'. I must have not heard myself doing that.

"It didn't sound like that." I jeer at him.

"You're right. It was little higher than that." he says before letting out a much higher pitched 'Mmm'. I sit up on my knees to get closer to him as I brush some of the icing of my cupcake onto his cheek. I hoped for more of an impact but he moved to the side. He scrapes the icing off his cheek and then proceeds to smear it on mine.

"Thought you might want that back." he said smoothly. I use my sleeve to wipe it off before I consume the rest of my cupcake. "No braid tonight?" he says changing the subject.

"I don't _always_ wear my hair like that." I reply. Except I do. Every day I fasten my hair into a braid that falls straight down my back. I don't tell him that though. As we sit in silence I can't help but notice how the temperature has dropped in so short a time. I rub my arms trying to generate a little heat to my frigid limbs.

"Are you cold?" he asks me. I nod. He scoots closer to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Better?" he asks.

"Yes." It does feel warmer with his body touching mine. I'm not sure how he can feel so warm right now. Maybe it's all of that muscle. Or maybe this isn't that cold for him. His district is a lot cooler than ours.

"Merrick, why weren't you in District 2 for the Reaping?" I ask quietly, while bringing up my thoughts from earlier that day.

"Peacekeepers' children don't have their name submitted into the Reaping bowl."

"Why not?" I ask. That doesn't seem fair.

"One of the perks of the job I guess. Of course the Peacekeepers' children could always submit their names if they want to."

"Why would they do that?" I ask in shock. Who would be crazy enough to do that?

"You're name has to be in the bowl for you to be eligible to volunteer." he explains. This sounds even more absurd than his previous statement. It's one thing to get chosen for the Games. It's a whole different story to want to be thrown in the Arena to die.

"And the Peacekeepers' kids actually do this?"

"Yes, so you see it doesn't really matter if we're exempt. Most of them opt to do it anyway. You've seen how my district is. How eager they are to volunteer during the Reaping." And I have. There is usually quite a scuffle in District 2 on Reaping days. Sometimes fights even break out over who volunteered first. Last year it was so bad that they didn't even accept any volunteers from the District 2 as some sort of punishment for their behavior.

"When they showed the Reaping recaps, I always made sure to watch…to make sure it wasn't you that they called." I admit somewhat reluctantly. I had always worried about him on Reaping Day, that he would be thrown into the Games and that I'd forced to watch him die on screens in the square.

"So did I." he murmurs back.

"At least now I know I don't have to worry anymore." I say, relieved that he is safe from any future Reapings.

"I wish I could say the same." he says with a sigh.

"Only 3 more to go." I tell myself. I am more than halfway through my eligibility after today.

"But how many slips of paper will you have by your last year?" he asks with concern. I do the math in my head, making sure to add the mandatory slip and one tessera for each of my family members to my cumulative number.

"Twenty-eight." I say once I've figured it out.

"That's a lot." he says with a furrowed brow.

"It's really not. I know someone who had his name submitted 37 times today and he made out ok." I can tell this comment doesn't make him any less worried. I'm kind of surprised that he still cares so much about my safety after all those years of being away. I thought that he'd forget about the little girl from the Seam after he returned back to his friends and his district. I guess I was wrong. "Doesn't matter anyway. In District 12 you have to _survive first_ to make it to the next Reaping." I finally say, trying to make a joke out of the whole situation. It was sort of true. After you were safe the Reaping, you had the rest of the year to worry about how to get enough food to keep you alive and hope that you wouldn't get sick.

"How bad is it, Katniss?" he asks me in a low tone as he look straight ahead.

"It can't be that bad. I'm still here after all." I tell him. The game and plants Gale and I bring from the woods are enough to get us by, to make sure we don't starve. It's not like we are exactly thriving though.

"Yes but you're way too thin for a girl your age." he replies. It is true. I am under what my proper weight should be. While the merchant girls are starting to develop their curves and womanly bodies, mine still looks like I'm 12.

"I know." is the only answer I can muster.

"What can I do?" he asks.

"You don't have to do anything." I say. When I was younger, I had no problem accepting things from him but now that I'm older, it seems like charity. It makes me feel like I'm insufficient. It doesn't help that some of Gale's stubbornness has brushed off on me over the years. Or maybe I always had it and it hadn't made an appearance until recently.

"Katniss, we both know I have much more than anyone could need." he says.

"I don't want to talk about this any more." I say as I avoid his gaze. I don't want his help. I just want him to be my friend. He doesn't say anything after that. We sit in silence for a while. I avoid even looking at him as I try to settle down.

When I am back to normal, I look over to him. I can tell there is something else on his mind. "Whatever it is you're thinking, you can just say it." I watch him hesitate before he finally gets the courage to do so.

"That guy you were with earlier. I was just wondering who he was." he says.

"You told me I should make friends." I tell him. It's not exactly what he told me. He told me to find someone to take care of me, but I don't want him getting the wrong idea about Gale. He looks almost relieved when I tell him this. "Why? Who did you think he was?" I asked with a twisted smile.

"Boyfriend, I guess." he admits. Now it's my turn to laugh.

"Gale, my boyfriend? No way." I say to him.

"It's not that far of an assumption. You're old enough to have a boyfriend now." he tells me. I suppose I am but I've never really thought about that. A boyfriend isn't something I'm looking for right now. There are more important things, like keeping my family fed. "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" he asks quietly.

"No." I say, slightly embarrassed though I'm not sure why. I'm only 15. It's not like I'm an old maid or something. Since he asked me, I decide to ask him too. "What about you? Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

"Yes." he admits. I'm not sure why but that kind of bothers me.

"Do you have one now?" I ask, prying for more information.

"No." he answers.

"What else has changed since we last saw each other?" I ask him, curious about all the things I've missed the past 4 years.

"Well I go to a new school now, the upper school. It's different from my last school."

"How?" I ask. Even though I'm also in the upper school in District 12, it seems the same to me.

"Less time in classrooms, more time practicing athletics and training."

"How long to do you do that…the athletics and training."

"3 hours a day, sometimes 4." he tells me. It explains why his body looks the way it does.

"Oh so you're a Career now." I say nonchalantly.

"Don't call me that." he says with annoyance in his voice. I don't know why he's so offended. District 2 tributes always pride themselves on that title. Of course, me being me, I cannot just let this go.

"What's so wrong with it. You're the ones that call yourselves that."

"You have no idea what it means." he says as he stands up and paces a few times. I stand up a block his way.

"Then tell me." I demand.

"The people in my district, as well as 1 and 4, use it in a boastful way. They use it to throw it in everyone's faces, that they're so rich and doing so well that they can make a job out of training for The Hunger Games. That they enjoy the fact that they'll get to go in an Arena, if they are lucky enough, and kill other children to win some stupid prize."

"I see you don't include yourself in that description."

"Because I want none of that. I have nothing to prove." he tells me. He doesn't stop there. "You should see it Katniss, the way most of my friends talk and behave now. It's enough to make me sick. And that isn't the worst part. I tell my father this and he tells me that they have a good head on their shoulders and that _I_ should start thinking more like _them_." he says, shouting by the end of it. I can't help but think that he's been keeping that jarred up in his chest for a long time. Now it's mine turn to talk.

"They are wrong to say that to you. There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect." I then wrap my arms around him hoping this will be enough to calm him down. He returns the hug and take a few calming breaths.

"I'm not sure why I think this way Katniss. Why I don't think like them. I should think like them, given where I'm from." It's funny, he says it like it's almost a bad thing.

"Because you are not like them. You traveled around to other districts. You've seen what it's like there. You saw a girl that was starving so bad that she was almost knocking on death's door."

"You know what the ironic part of it is Katniss? If I did ever get thrown into the Games, I'd probably end winning it."

"What makes you say that?"

"They rank us, at school, based on everything. Guess who's at the top?"

"But you're only 16." I say.

"At least my father has something to be proud about. He even suggested I submit my name this year."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him maybe next year."

"Will you?"

"Never." he tells me as he draws me closer to him. When we part, I look up to the sky and find it beginning to grow lighter.

"I should go. It's getting late."

"I'll walk you home." he offers.

"No, you don't have to. It's out of the way."

"Katniss I don't think you should be walking by yourself this late at night."

"I've done it before. I'll be fine." I tell him. I really don't want to inconvenience him by having him spend an extra half hour walking me home.

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make sure you got home safe?" he asks. Gale never walks me home but he is a good friend.

"If it means that much to you, I'll let you walk me home."

"It does." he says as he goes to fold the blanket. When he has the blanket and basket in his hands, we start down the path, traveling further into the Seam. The path is quite dark without the light of the surrounding houses. It would be pitch black if not for the light of the almost full moon. We walk in silence as to not wake up any of the residence. It isn't long before we are standing on my front porch.

"Do you want any of this?" he asks as he raises the basket. I shake my head.

"Not even for Prim?"

"No we're good." I tell him. Luckily, he doesn't persist any longer.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asks me.

"I'm busy." I reply. Tomorrow is Sunday, which means that it will be spent in the woods with Gale. I don't offer him this detail. I'm not ready to tell him about the illegal practices that I commit. I still don't know how he feels about breaking laws enforced by Peacekeepers.

"What about Monday?" he then asks.

"Monday is good. Meet me by our tree around noon." I instruct him before slipping inside my house. I quickly find my way to my bed through the darkness to get some much needed rest for the long day of hunting tomorrow.

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**Looks like Merrick isn't your average Career. Also, I really am enjoying writing scenes with Katniss and Merrick :)**

**BTW, I have a ridiculous amount of schoolwork to get done this week so reviews would really brighten my day(s). Let me know what you're thinking ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed last chapter. You are awesome! Despite the schoolwork, I still managed to finish this chapter. Hope you like this!**

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Chapter 6

Sunday passed by very quickly and before I know it, it's Monday and I am headed to meet Merrick. I walk down the path with a picnic basket in my hand—his picnic basket. I can't help but be a little annoyed at the fact that he left it at my front door before walking home. I told him we were fine. Prim found it the next day and squealed with joy upon opening it. It's not like I'd ever deny her food so I let her keep the nonperishable items. I plan on having a talk with him when I get to the tree.

I see Merrick has made it there before me with an annoyed expression on his face. I'm not sure why he's feeling this way. If anyone should be feeling that way, it's me. I decide it's best not to mention anything about the basket. He'd probably take whatever he was feeling out on me. I place the basket on the ground and sit next to him.

"You look awfully bothered." I tell him.

"Yes I am." he admits.

"What is it?" I inquire, thinking that maybe I could help him out.

"Katniss you've never tried anything with any Peacekeepers, have you?" he finally asks. I have no idea what he means by this statement.

"What do you mean?"

"Some of the younger Peacekeepers here, they told me some things…about what happens here. Even suggested that I try it sometime." he says with disgust.

"What things?" I ask turning my body around so I'm facing him now.

"That they pay girls to sleep with them…and do other things too." he says in a hushed voice, as if he was ashamed in just mentioning it.

"No. Never." I say as I shake my head. I feel a little offended that he'd even think I'd do something like that.

"I just don't know how anyone could do that." he says shaking his head.

"The girls or the Peacekeepers?" I wonder out loud.

"Both."

"People will do some pretty desperate things to get by." I tell him. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am, that I know how to hunt. Others have to rely on less desirable methods to survive.

"I know, but that…it shouldn't happen."

"There are good and bad people in this world, Merrick. Just be glad that you are ones of the good ones." I tell him, realizing I sound like my mother when I say that statement. He still looks a little discouraged as he sits there and continues to think. I know I need to think of something to cheer him up, because that is what friends do. I get his attention before saying, "Race you to the high branch." I climb to the first branch, hoping that he'll actually participate. I look down and see he's already gaining on me. He quickly passes me and beats me with a several seconds to spare.

"You've gotten slower." he says when I finally reach the branch.

"No, you've just gotten faster." I correct him. I'm sure if I had all that training, I'd be faster too.

We spend the day in the tree, talking and catching up on the time we spent apart from each other. I leave out any stories about hunting, still unsure about what he'd think of me if he knew what I did. I talk about Prim and much she's grown up. I share funny stories that I have held onto throughout the years. I know how much he likes to laugh and I must admit that I enjoy the sound of his laughter. Our conversation turns serious when tells me about his friends in District 2. He talks about how they changed over the years, how they long to be a part of The Hunger Games, and how they feel about the other districts in Panem. It's quite upsetting to hear. My stomach then lets out a growl that's loud enough for him to hear.

"Are you hungry?" he asks me. I nod. There's no point in denying it.

"You don't happen to have any snacks do you?"

"I thought you didn't want my food anymore." he says in a playful way.

"Snacks are fine, just not _baskets full of food_." I say in the same tone. A smile appears on his face. "Lucky for you my sister found it first."

"Good." he says pleased with himself. "We could go to my house, show you my new place."

"Won't your mother be home?" I ask as we start to descend from the tree. I know she doesn't work.

"No, both of my parents are away on vacation at some fancy resort in District 4. They always go away for a week after Reaping Day." I was starting to see the perks of being a Peacekeeper. Comfortable life, children safe from the Reaping, vacation; it sounded nice.

"Do all Peacekeepers get to go on vacation?" I ask him, wanting to know more.

"You have to be at a certain rank to get it." he replies. We make our way to town and then to Peacekeeper Village. We walk along the back path to avoid any of the other residents. His new house is just a few doors down from the one he stayed at last time he was here. We enter through the back of the house and he leads me to the kitchen. He opens the fridge door.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asks me. I stand beside him and peer into the fully stocked fridge. There is so much there, I don't know what to choose.

"I don't know."

"I'll make us something." he says. I sit down the kitchen table as he grabs some things from the fridge and the pantry. He joins me in a few minutes with a small platter filled with crackers, fruit, and a few types of cheeses that I've never seen before. When we are finished eating, he gives me a tour of the house. In the living room, I notice a table that is full of framed photos. I walk over and peruse the collection. I find one of Merrick that was taken around the age he was when I first met him, sitting on the edge of a fountain. I pick up the frame and smile thinking back to that time.

"What are you looking at?" Merrick asks as he looks over my shoulder. "That feels like such a long time ago."

"Because it was."

"That one was taken here, you know."

"Yes, I noticed the fountain."

"Whenever I see this photo, I always wished you were in it." he murmurs to me.

"Why?" I asked.

"You're my friend and it's your district. It just would have been nice if you were there too."

"Yes I guess it would have been." I reply as I set the frame back in its place. He then continues the tour, showing me every room in the house, saving his bedroom for last. It is a large room with navy blue walls, hardwood floors and a large bookcase built into the wall. He even has his own bathroom connected to his room. I walk over to the bookcase and run my fingers across the spines of the books that occupy it.

"Are these all yours?" I ask him in wonder.

"No, they came with the house." he answers. I nod my head in understanding.

"I see you haven't set up your blanket fort yet."

"I outgrew those a long time ago, Katniss." he says with a laugh.

"Oh right." I say slightly blushing in embarrassment. Fifteen-year-old boys don't do things like that.

"I was thinking—if you want to—maybe you could spend the night tonight." I am taken by surprise about his request.

"What like a sleepover?" I ask with a raised brow.

"Yes, it's lonely being in this big house all by myself. I could make you dinner. We could watch the Opening Ceremonies together."

"Oh yeah, that's tonight." I say scrunching my mouth to the side.

"So what do you say?"

"Sure. I have to go home first to get some things and let my mother know where I'll be."

"Where are you going to tell her?" he asks me with curiosity.

"I don't know yet."

"Go now and I'll start cooking." he says. He leads me to the back door and lets me out. I quickly make my way through Peacekeeper Village and through town. I think about the fact that I've never been to a sleepover. I'm not even sure that girls and guys are supposed to have sleepovers together. Gale and I have never had one before. I try to think of something to bring to wear at night. I don't own any sort of pajamas or nightgowns. In the summer, I usually just sleep in a tank top and my underwear but that isn't appropriate for this situation, even if he is just a friend. Maybe my mother will have something for me.

I find my mother in the kitchen when I arrive home, peeling a few potatoes.

"I'm spending the night at a friend's house tonight. We are going to watch the Opening Ceremony together." I say to her, hoping she'll allow it.

"Which friend?" she asks me.

"Madge Undersee." I blurt out without thinking. I wonder if my mother will believe that I'm actually going to a sleepover at the Mayor's house. I've talked about Madge before to my mother a few times so she knows that we are friends.

"Yes, you may go." she responds.

"Do you have anything I could wear to sleep in?" I ask with hope.

"Let's see." she says, stopping her task and leading me to her bedroom. She opens the trunk at the foot of her bed that contains the clothing of her former life, when she was a merchant girl. She sifts through the content until she finds something that might work. Except that it won't work, not at all. She lays out the shorts and top on the bed. They look like their made of silk or something like it with lace details. She must see the apprehension on my face.

"This is what girls in town wear Katniss. I'm sure Madge has pajamas just like these." she insists.

"You don't have anything else?"

"No this is it."

"Ok, thanks mom." I say as I fold the pieces and take them with me. I place them in my bag, not sure if I'll actually wear them or not. Maybe I'll just sleep in my clothes. I haven't decided yet. I also pack an outfit for tomorrow and then I am on my way.

I let myself in and can smell an amazing aroma mingling with the air around me. I walk into the kitchen and find Merrick at the stove, hard at work.

"Smells good."

"Oh, hey, I didn't hear you come in." he pauses for a few seconds to wrap an arm around me in a hug. "It will be ready in a few minutes."

"I'll set the table." I offer. It takes me a while to find where everything is but eventually the table is set. He plates the food and then brings them to the table, serving me first. He returns with a pitcher of water and then sits across from me. I take a bite and it tastes just as good as it smells.

"This is amazing. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"The servants at home taught me." he tells me. He must be really rich if his parents can afford to keep people that just cook for them.

"Well they taught you well."

"So what did you tell your mother?" he asks, obviously interested in what I'd have to say.

"I told her I was staying with the Mayor's daughter." His laugh booms through the kitchen.

"And what did she say?"

"She believed me. We are kind of friends…in school at least. I don't think she'd invite me to her house but she's nice." I tell him.

"What would she have done if you had told her you were staying here tonight?" he asks hypothetically.

"I wouldn't be here." I say. "My parents always told me to stay away from here, that it wasn't safe. And they definitely wouldn't let me spend the night at a boy's house."

"Why not, we're just friends?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I'm not going to try anything with you if that's what she's worried about." he says, laughing again.

"But some guys might. If you had a daughter my age and she wanted to spend the night at a boy's house, would you let her?" I ask him, putting it into perspective.

"No way." he retorts.

"See." I say as I raise my eyebrows. After dinner is through, I thank him for the meal and then help him wash the pots and pans. We then go into the living room and turn on the TV. Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith are chatting away about the pool of tributes and speculating what each district might be wearing tonight. I always hate watching the Games but at least this isn't so bad. No one is dying yet. Merrick leaves the room and returns with a blanket for each of us. I stand up to wrap it around myself before sitting down again.

"I know what our costumes will be this year…coalminers, same as always." I say with spite.

"Yeah, they are pretty bad." he admits. He knows there is no argument against it.

"Last year they just smeared their bodies with coal dust."

"I remember that. None of the costumes are that good really." he says trying to cheer me up. It's not true though. Some of them are spectacular. Those are the tributes that get the sponsors and make it to the end. The chariots start to appear on the screen one by one. District 2 looks good this year. Their bodies are painted to look like marble and they are draped in togas. With their good look and perfect sculpted muscles, they look like classic sculptures. District 4 looks good as well with outfits made of scales that shimmer in the light. District 12 is last. I was right. They are coalminers wearing hats with lights, carrying picks and have coal dust smeared haphazardly on their arms and face.

I turn to Merrick who has been quiet the whole time and find him to be as white as a sheet.

"What is it?" I ask with concern.

"The male tribute…I know him. He's my friend." he said in shock. "I didn't watching the Reaping for the District 2. I had no idea." I turn my body towards him and take him in my arms. He's not crying or anything. In fact, I think he's still in denial. After a few minutes, he started to talk again. "I don't understand what happened. We agreed that we wouldn't put our names in the bowl, ever. What happened Katniss?" he asked with panic in his voice.

"I don't know." I said quietly. He shrugs me off before grabbing the remote. He's frantically pressing buttons, weaving through the menus on the screen until he pulls up the District 2 reaping. The girls name is drawn first but a volunteer steps up. Then it's time for the boys. The escort reaches into the bowl and picks out a name, his friend's name. There are no volunteers. As the boy walks to the stage, putting on a brave face.

"There must have been some sort of mistake." Merrick says as he stares blankly at the screen. He then bends forward, covering his face with his hands as he lets out a long breath.

"I can go…if you want to be alone." I say to him. It's a lot to deal with, having your friend being sent into a death-match.

"No. I want you stay."

"Let's get ready for bed." I say as I take his hand. We walk to the staircase. He pauses there while I grab my bag and we walk up together. I don't know what to say to him to make him feel better. I then ask him a question that comes to mind.

"Do you think he can win?" I say once he's sitting down.

"Yes, maybe." he says. "He's ranked high at school."

"He could make it out of there, Merrick. Just try to think of that in the mean time." I say. He nods.

"You can get changed in the bathroom first." he tells me. He is done talking about the Games. Nervousness grows within me as I remember about what my mother gave me to wear. I stand in place, fidgeting nervously. He looks at me, with a quizzical brow. "What is it?"

"My mom gave me some pajamas to wear."

"Yeah so?"

"They're just…not…me." I say. I spark catches in his eye and he now smiling.

"Let's see them." I take the shorts and top out of my bag and throw them at him. He holds each piece up one by one. "Have you tried them on yet?"

"No." I admit.

"I think you should." he says.

"No way." I retort. I immediately regret even showing them to him.

"How do you know if they are not you if you haven't even given them a try." he asks. I remain silent. "Just try them on. If you don't like them, I'll give you something to wear." For some reason, I know Merrick won't stop until I put them on. I grab them from him and march to the bathroom. I strip off my clothes until I'm down to my underwear and put on the pajamas. I look in the mirror and it just feels wrong. I am a hunter. I am not pretty. I don't wear delicate things. I don't like how much of my shoulders are showing. I then get the idea to undo my braid and arrange my hair so I feel a little more covered up.

"How's it going in there?" I hear Merrick ask as he knocks on the door.

"Horribly."

"Let me see." My heart begins to accelerate. It's one thing to try it on. It's a whole other thing to have him see me, standing his in bedroom scantily clad. I walk over to the door but don't open it.

"Why do you want to see?" I ask him.

"Because I think you are overreacting." he says. I'm offended by his comment. I'm genuinely panicked and he thinks I'm acting like a silly little girl.

"Fine, I'll come out." I huff. I open the door stand there as his eyes scan my body.

"You look nice." he tells me. I'm sure this is more of that Merrick politeness that he always gives me.

"I don't like it." I say as I tug on my shorts. They are too short. I watch him walk to his closet and pull something off a hanger.

"Put this on." he says as handing me whatever he brought me. I close the door to the bathroom and remove my top before putting on what he gave me. It is white button up shirt, but it's more like a dress on me. I roll up each sleeve a few times until the cuffs reach my elbows. I collect my clothes before exiting the room.

"Better?" he asks as he waits for me on his bed. He must have changed while he was waiting for me because he is now in a pair of dark, plaid pajama pants and a white cotton undershirt.

"Yes, thank you."

"What side do you want?" he asks me. A new rush of anxiousness courses through me when I realize we are going to be sleeping in the same bed. I've never slept in the same bed as another boy and even though he is just my friend, I still can't fight this feeling. I don't let it show though.

"The left side." I say. I walk to the side of the bed and pull back the covers before getting in. He turns off his light and joins me. Before I know it, we are both lying under the covers in the same bed. I try to leave as much room behind us as I can without getting to close to the edge.

"Merrick, how long are you here for?" I ask. We haven't discussed this yet.

"The end of the summer." he answers. I smile when I hear him say this. It's so much longer than we had last time.

"We're going to have the best summer Katniss." he says. I look over at him and watch as his smile quickly fades. I know exactly what's on his mind.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, offering to listen. He gives me a hesitant look. Maybe he just doesn't know where to begin. "What's his name?"

"Galen." he tells me. I find it funny that his best friend's name resembles the name of my own best friend. What are the odds?

"How long have you known him?"

"Since we were six. He's like a brother really."

"I hope he wins." I tell him. I don't really know what else to say.

"Me too. You'll watch the Game with me this year, won't you? I think I'm going to need someone get me through it."

"Whenever you need me, I'll be there."

"Thanks Katniss. You're the best."

"Goodnight Merrick."

"Goodnight." he says before closing his eyes. I don't close mine. Instead, I think about his predicament. I think about what I would do if they had called out Gale's name and he was forced to fight in the Games. I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I look over to his sleeping frame. The stress and sorrow is no longer present in his face. My eyes move south and watch his chest slowly rise and fall at an even pace. I can even see the traces of his muscles through the fitted fabric of his shirt. I reach out, lightly tracing the contours of his body. When my fingers reach his chest, I feel him gently stir from his sleep.

"Katniss?" he whispers in a sleepy haze.

"Shh, go back to sleep." I whisper back to him as I cup his cheek with my hand. He gives me a soft smile before he drifts back to sleep. I feel something stir inside my body I have never felt before. I'm not really sure what it is or what it means. Maybe I just need some sleep. I lay back and close my eyes, taking a deep breath before I feel myself falling asleep.

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**Progress is being made! Hope you liked those Katniss/Merrick moments. Is there any one in particular that you liked? Also, what do you think about Merrick's friend being in the Games? **


	7. Chapter 7

**Just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. This story doesn't get that many views so I'm surprised by the number of comments. Keep up the good work. You make me want to update sooner!**

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 7

We are two weeks into the Games and they are drawing to a close. There are only two tributes left. Galen is one of them. For the past fourteen days, I have been by Merrick's side, watching the Games. Sometimes we watch at his house when it's empty and other times, we watch in the square. Regardless of where we are, his hand is always entwined with mine. Every time he gets nervous for his friend, I feel he hand grip mine even tighter. We are currently in the square sitting with our backs against the wall of the fountain, watching as the Gamemakers send mutts after the other tribute. It looks like they are trying to drive him closer to Galen. We have maybe an hour left. I'm nervous for Galen at the moment. The male tribute from District 1 is the other remaining tribute and he looks fierce. It's a toss up between who could win.

I watch as the boy from 1 runs towards Galen. As soon as he crosses a certain point a tall metal ring raises from the ground, trapping them. This is it, a fight to the death. I look up at Merrick. He lips are pressed firmly together as he tries to keep composed. What follows isn't pretty. The two break out in fighting. Galen has a sword and his opponent has a spear. I'm not sure who has the advantage. I've seen both of them skillfully use the weapons in the previous weeks. Each boy gets wounded by the other. Galen is about to deliver a fatal blow when the other boy crouches down and uses the spear to knock him from his feet. Galen loses his grip of his sword in the process. The District 1 boy pins him down with his foot while raising the spear over his head. This next part is horrifying. I watch as the boy pierces Galen abdomen over and over again with the spear. He even continues a few times after the cannon fires. At this point, Merrick has pulled me close to him while his head is buried in my hair. As soon as Claudius Templesmith announces the winner, I stand up and drag him to an alleyway. The last thing he needs is to see his best friend's bloody body lifted by the crane. He kicks and punches the stone wall before collapsing to the ground. I kneel in front of him and he pulls me close so that our bodies are against each other's. He cries into my neck, while I smooth the hair on the back of his head. I don't know what to say. I really didn't think the Games would end this way.

We stay in the alleyway for a solid hour as I comfort him as best I can. I don't use words, since I know I'm not good with them. I just sit there and hold him as I hum a lullaby I used to sing to Prim. It seems to calm him down a little bit. When it seems that he has run out of tears to cry, I help him up and lead him to his home. We reach his backyard, and I'm unsure what I should do next. I can't go inside with him. His parents might be there. He must see my despair over the situation because he takes my hand and leads me to the tent he set up a week ago in his backyard. He lies down on the padded ground and closes his eyes. He looks drained both physically and emotionally. I sit beside him as I watch him sleep. He sleeps for hours. When he finally wakes up, the sun is starting to set.

"You should probably get inside. I'm sure your parents are worrying about you." I coo to him. He sit up and nods his head. He crawls out of the tent with me behind him. I walk him to the stairs. I start to leave but he wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me close.

"Come inside." he whispers in my ear. It's the first words he's spoken since the Games ended.

"You know I can't." I tell him. His parents would never approve of my being there.

"Katniss, I need you more than anything right now. Please." he begs me. I want nothing more than to be there for him. My heart wrenches with pain when I think about what he must be going through. I make a deal with him. We both eat dinner with our families and then I will meet him in the tent and stay with him for the night. I wait until he is inside before I set off for my own home. As I am walking the district is silent. It's always like this on the day the Games end. There is no celebrating; people are mourning for the loss of 23 children.

After dinner, I travel back to Merrick's back yard and wait for him in the tent. I wait for hours for him to join me but he never comes. I can feel myself fighting off sleep as I try to stay awake until he arrives. As midnight approaches, I can no longer hold on. I lay down on his sleeping bag. He can wake me up when he decides to join me.

I wake up the next morning expecting to find Merrick beside me but I am alone. When I figure out that he is not coming, I leave to hunt with Gale. Once we have finished hunting and trading, I go home to wash myself and eat dinner. Then, I go back to Merrick's tent but find it empty once again. I sit there until midnight before making my way back to my own home. I repeat this routine for the next week, expecting for him to show up, but he never does. I feel so useless. I want to be there for him but I cannot just show up on his doorstep, asking his parents if I can see him. On the eighth day, I finally get the audacity to go to him. I walk up the stairs and hope that the back door is unlocked. It is. I take off my shoes and tiptoe inside, carefully making my way inside the house. I can hear his mother in the dining room laughing with a group of ladies. I quietly creep up the stairs until I reach his door. My hand takes hold of the knob, turning it without a sound. I walk into a sea of darkness. Even though the sun is shining brightly outside, the room is pitch black. I close the door with the knob turned before slowly releasing it.

Next, I make my way to a window and roll the blind up a few inches. I find Merrick lying on his side, staring off into space. His eyes are missing that sparkle that I'm used to. He doesn't move or acknowledge me. He just lies there. I join him in bed, lying on my side so that I'm facing toward him.

"Merrick." I whisper in a hushed voice as I gently caress his cheek with my thumb. I repeat the movement, hoping to slowly melt away his numbness. He closes his eyes and I'm not sure what it means. Maybe he's ignoring me. Maybe he wants me to go away. It's when he elicits a soft moan that I know he wants me here. I then feel his hand slide under the fabric of my shirt. He stops at my ribcage, gently stroking my skin with his fingertips. His eyes open and are now glazed over with tears.

"You're too thin Katniss." he murmurs. He pauses and I remain silent. I'm not sure what he wants me to say. "I want to help you…I don't know why you won't let me help you. I don' t want to lose you too." he says as then tears escape his eyes. I move closer to him and wrap him in my arms. He pulls me closer and let's out a few sniffles as he tries to hold back his remaining tears.

From that day forward, I never deny any food that he offers me. I swallow my pride and allow him to help. On some days, he sends me home with full meals. I'm not sure how he manages to do it without his parents noticing. Or maybe he uses his own money to do so. I try to pay him back for it by doing little things. I teach him how to shoot an arrow with the smaller bow my father made me when I was younger. I also tend to any of his clothes that need mending. It will never add up to all that he has done for me, but I feel like I need to do something.

I also spend time with him and help him grieve the loss of Galen. I know it must be hard to be away from his friends during this time. They could offer him the kind of support that I could never give him.

It isn't until mid-July until he starts to act like his usual self. He finally is able to venture out of the house and we spend every evening in his tent, making up for lost time. It isn't until one morning when I wake up next to him that I see his smile return to the same luster as before.

"I never thought I could miss a smile so much." I say as I brush my fingers across his facial muscles.

"I didn't think you'd still be here." he says.

"I fell asleep." I admit. I take hold of his wrist to check the time. His watch informs me that I have 10 minutes to get to the woods to meet Gale. "I have to go." I tell Merrick as I start to get up.

"But you just woke up." he pouted.

"I have to hunt." I explain. I told him about the hunting when I first taught him to shoot an arrow. He would hardly believe that I got that good at archery just from shooting at a stationery object. I must admit it was quite a relief to get that secret off my chest.

"Bring me back something good." he says to me before I leave through the side of the tent. I run all the way to my meeting place with Gale and find him already waiting.

"Late again?" he said with an arched brow.

"I overslept." I tell him. I have been late quite a bit, now that I'm spending my nights with Merrick. I usually don't get home until after midnight.

"What am I going to do with you?" he says with a smile before he starts walking in into the woods. I follow behind him as we check the snare line. We make off pretty good, with 5 rabbits. We then go down to the river so Gale can fish and I can gather some strawberries for Merrick. I remove the netting to gain access to the now ripened fruit. I gather about a dozen of the red berries into a small basket that I place in my hunting bag. I fasten the netting and walk along the riverbank, back towards Gale. Near the edge of the bank, I see arrow shaped leaves emerging from the shallows. It's the plant I was named after. I dig a few roots out from the muddy soil and clean them in the river. I then place them on top of the strawberries. When I reach Gale, I find that he's been unsuccessful in his attempts to catch any fish.

"You're not casting the line out far enough." I tell him as I grab the pole from his hands.

"Or they just aren't biting today." he says. I cast a line further into the river and wait, tugging on the line ever so often. Within a few minutes, there is a fish on my line. I reel it in and bring it over to him with a smirk on my face. I dangle it in front of him, waiting for him to unhook it but instead he is giving me a quizzical look. He then stands up and circles me quietly. When he is facing in front of me, he finally speaks.

"You look different." he tell me. I'm not sure in what way he means. I haven't changed anything. I'm wearing the same old clothes and the same old braid falls down my back.

"How?" I finally ask.

"You look…healthy." he says. I look down and can now see what he means. The clothes that I had trouble filling out a few months ago now hug my body perfectly, thanks to Merrick and the extra food he is supplying. I quickly try to think of something to say.

"I always gain weight in the summer…we all do." I tell him. With more game to hunt and more time to do so, our families always seem to do a little better.

"Yeah but never this much. You're starting to look like the merchant girls." he says playfully as he grabs my hips.

"Yeah, you would know." I tease back at him as I remove his hands from my sides.

"What does that mean?" he asked completely baffled by my last statement.

"Oh come on Gale, I know what you do at the slagheap on Saturday nights." I say with a laugh.

"How do you know about that?" he asked shocked.

"Girls talk about it, Gale. They brag to their friends about the things you do to them." He looks almost embarrassed like he doesn't want me to know about the things he does when I'm not around. "It's fine with me, you can do whatever you want, but I just don't understand why you mess around with the merchant girls when I know you can't stand anyone from their side of town."

"Doesn't mean I can't have a little fun." he says, his smirk now returning. I roll my eyes at him. I then grab my things and head back towards the fence. Within a few seconds, Gale is beside me as we return back to District 12. Once we are on the path to the Seam, Gale gives me a rabbit and tells me that he'll trade at the Hob. I don't argue with him. I'm not in the mood to go there anyway.

Instead, I make my way home. I unpack the rabbit and katniss before I start to boil a pot of water. I place a tuber in the pot for it to cook before I go to visit Merrick. I clean myself up and change my clothes before I grab the katniss and my hunting bag. As I walk towards Peacekeeper's Village, I can only hope that he's still in the tent. When I get there, I find in empty. It _is_ rather hot outside today and the tent does trap heat.

I start to walk back when I hear the sound of footsteps pounding the ground. I turn to find Merrick running towards me.

"You're just in time." he says grinning from ear to ear.

"What?" I ask, clearly confused. He leads me inside his house where I am blasted with the cool air hitting my skin. It feels good. He leads me up to his room and waiting for me in the corner in a blanket fort.

"I thought you were too old for these." I say with a hand on my hip.

"I made it for you." he says as he pulls me inside. We lay down on the same sides as we did when we were young.

"So this is what you did today?" I ask.

"Not the whole day. It did take a while though. Forgot how much work goes into it and I did need to expand it a little. Do you like it?"

"I do. It reminds me of us…when we were younger."

"So what did you bring me?" he asks with eagerness. I hand him the Katniss, which I wrapped in a small towel.

"What is this?" he asks me.

"It's the root from the plant I was named after." I then pull out an arrow shaped leaf and twirl it between my fingers.

"Shaped just like an arrow." he says taking the leaf by the stem and inspects it. He smiles as he then tucks it behind my ear. He then draws his attention back to the root before taking a bite from it. "Mmm, you taste good." he says somewhat suggestively. I take my hand and push him backwards.

"Be nice or you won't get your other surprise." I tell him.

"I was just kidding." he says with a laugh. "So what else is there?" I reach into my bag and uncover the basket of strawberries. "Oh, what do we have here?" he asks as he takes a berry from the basket.

"Strawberries." I am surprised that he doesn't know what they are. I understand him not knowing about the katniss, but strawberries? I thought everyone knew what those were. He begins to take the whole strawberry and plop it in mouth.

"No stop, you don't eat it that way." I say with a laugh as I take the berry out of his hands. I push back the small green leaves and grasp onto them as I hold the berry up by his face. "You only eat the red part." I'm surprised when he moves closer and wraps his mouth around the berry, his lips lightly grazing my fingertips before he bites down. He lets out an approving moan as his chews the berry. Once he swallows it, he licks the juice that is running down my hand. My heart jumps and I quickly pull my hand away from his mouth.

"We have more, you know." I say as I pick another one of the basket. His mouth advances towards my hand again. I stick the tip of the berry between his lips before letting go. "What am I suppose to feed you now?" I say with a joking tone because I have no idea what he is doing. He finishes the berry before he speaks.

"I like it." he says. I give him a look and he laughs. "You've never had anyone feed you before?"

"Not since I was a baby." I tell him. He laughs again as he reaches for a berry.

"Try it." he says moving the strawberry towards me until it's lightly pressed against my lips. I slowly open my mouth and take the red fruit between my teeth as I gently bite down. He discards the base of the strawberry and then brings his thumb to my chin to wipe away the stream of juice that is running from my mouth. I can feel my heartbeat start to accelerate when he takes his thumb to his mouth to remove the juice. "So what did you think?"

"I don't know." I say.

"How can you not know? You either like it or you don't."

"I hardly think it's practical for adults to be feeding each other." I say as I roll my eyes.

"Practicality has nothing to do with it." he tells me. He then smirks as if he is keeping something from me.

"What?" I ask curiously.

"Nothing. You'll figure it out eventually." he says before eating another berry.

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**I'm not going to lie, I really enjoyed writing that last scene ;) Let me know what you thought about this chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Glad you enjoyed last chapter! Here's a little chapter for your Sunday evening. Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 8

The beginning of August brings with it a heat wave unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life. I spend most of my days with Gale, swimming in the lake to escape the heat. I've thought about bringing Merrick here but I know that Gale would disapprove. In a perfect world, I would introduce the two of them and we all could be friends, but that is not where we live. We live in a world that is divided into districts that are even further segregated socially. I could never tell Gale that Merrick is a Peacekeeper's son. Even if I could convince him that he was from a merchant family, he still wouldn't want to be friends with him. This leaves me to divide my days between them, hunting during the day with Gale, and spending my evenings with Merrick.

August also brings some severe thunderstorms as well. Tonight is no exception. The tent sways as the wind picks up. It gets so bad that I fear the tent will collapse on us. The thunder starts to boom followed by the sound of rain pelting the ground. We go outside to check on the conditions.

"I should go home." I shout to Merrick over the noise.

"No, the storm is too close. Come inside." he shouts back.

"Your parents are inside." I remind him.

"So I'll sneak you in like I always do. Don't worry. I'll make sure you don't get caught." he says. I run toward his back door with him and the rain drenches us. I wait for him outside while he finds where his parents are. He returns with a smile.

"They are watching TV." he says. I take off my shoes and carry them as we quickly make our way to his room.

"Eww, I'm soaked." I say with a laugh as look down to my sopping wet clothing.

"Here, you can change into these." he says after handing me a pile of clothes. I go into his bathroom and remove my clothes into a pile on the tiled floor. I untie my braid and squeeze the water out my hair into the sink. Once I have dry clothing on, I wring out my clothes and hang them to dry. When I walk out, he is finishing up changing his clothes.

"How long do you think the storm will last?" I ask as I look out his window.

"Looks pretty bad. Maybe you ought to spend the night."

"I'm sure it's passing." I say before the lights start to flicker.

"You sure about that?" he says with a raised brow.

"So what are we going to do now?" I ask him. He was going to show me some stars outside with the new telescope he got for his birthday.

"I'll go downstairs and bring us something to eat and we can just lay in the fort and talk."

"I thought you were too old for blanket forts." I say with a laugh.

"Maybe I changed my mind." he says before leaving for the downstairs. While I wait, I turn out all the lights and plug in the string of lights we attached to the fort last week. It illuminates the light blue sheets with a soft glow. I lie back on my side of the fort and notice how each light looks like a star in the sky. I hear the door swing open and see Merrick's feet walking towards the opening. He hands me the tray of food before closing the door.

"Ah, you turned on the lights, I see." he says lying on his side.

"Yes they are nice." I say taking a cookie from the tray.

"So what should we talk about?" he asks me. I rack my brain to a conversation topic.

"Your parents."

"Really?"

"Yes, I want to know more about them. Like how did you father become a Peacekeeper?"

"Well his father was a Peacekeeper, and his father's father and so on. We're just a family of Peacekeepers, I guess."

"Is that what you want to do?" I ask him.

"No, not really, but there isn't much else to do in District 2. It's either being a Peacekeeper or work in the quarry…or teach at one the training academies I guess. To be honest, none of those really appeal to me."

"What do you want to do?"

"I'm not sure…something to help people I guess."

"You have some time."

"Two years."

"Merrick, is your dad a good Peacekeeper?"

"I guess so. He's doesn't really discuss what happens at work."

"What about your mother? What is she like?"

"Everyone loves her. She's just so nice to everyone."

"Sounds like someone I know." I say tapping his nose with my index finger.

"Yeah. Everyone says I got my father's looks and mother's personality. You would like her Katniss."

"But would she like me?" I ask.

"She's not like the other people in District 2. To be honest, I'm not even sure that she's from there."

"Have you asked her?"

"She never gives me a straight answer."

"Do you think your father met her when she was stationed in another district?"

"Hmm, maybe. I never thought about that. I'm not really sure how that would work though. You can't just leave your district."

"Maybe it's another Peacekeeper thing you just don't know about." I say with a shrug. All of a sudden, the lights flickered out. We wait for them to turn on but they never do. There is a knock on the door before it opens. I move further into the fort as to not be detected. Merrick quickly climbs out of the fort.

"Merrick, honey, are you alright?"

"Yes, mom, I'm fine."

"I brought you a candle, so you could see." she says in a light, pleasant voice.

"Thanks mom, you're the best." he says before closing the door. He brings the candle into the tent. "That was close."

"Yes, it was honey." I say with a smile. I see Merrick cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"Katniss, there is something I've been thinking about for a while now…about the Games. Is it alright if we talk about it?" he asks me.

"Of course."

"I still don't understand how Galen's name got in the Reaping bowl. He said he would never do it, we swore to each other. And…he just looked so confused when his name was called. It just doesn't add up." he says with a furrowed brow.

"Maybe he did it on a dare."

"That's not like him. I just wish I could be back in District 2 so I could talk to my friends about this. Find out how this happened. Maybe they have some answers. I'll be right back." he says before leaving his room. I hear his footsteps travel downstairs and the muffled voices of him and his father talking. I wait a while for him but there is no sign of him coming back upstairs. I take the candle and place it on his side table before crawling under the covers. I'm not sure about what time it is, but I'm feeling tired. Maybe I can hold off sleeping so I can see when he returns. I look outside and watch the lightning dance around the sky. It really is beautiful. I feel my eye droop and I know cannot hold on any longer.

I am woken up by Merrick an undeterminable amount of time later.

"Katniss." he whispers as he lightly shakes me.

"Hmm?" I groan as I turn to face him. I'm still not fully awake.

"Katniss, wake up." he coos, brushing my hair.

"Merrick, it's late." I whisper. I then notice tear-stained cheeks. He looks a wreck. "Merrick, what is it?"

"I'm thinking about going home early." he says.

"To District 2?" I ask confused. He nods.

"I just think that's where I need to be right now…to see my friends and Galen's family. I'm still so very sad. I think maybe they could help me and that I could help them as well." he murmurs. He wants to leave. I don't know what to say. We only have three weeks left. Can't he stay a little longer?

"I should go." I say as I spring out of bed. I know it's late but I don't want him to see me cry. If that is what he wants, then it's his choice. I find him blocking the doorway.

"Katniss, my parents are still down there. They'll see you." He's right, I'm basically trapped in his room for another couple hours. I don't think I can hold the tears back that long. They are already starting to escape. I hide away inside the blanket fort, crying into arms that are folded on my knees. I hear him enter the fort and sit beside me.

"What's wrong?" he asks, gently combing his fingers through my hair.

"I don't want you to leave." I tell him as I lift my head to look into his eyes. "It's bad enough you have to go at all. I just thought we would have these next few weeks."

"I didn't think you'd mind me leaving early." he says.

"Well maybe I do. This could be it Merrick. It could be the last time I ever see you." I say as the tears flow in rivers down his cheeks. He takes my face in his hands and uses his thumbs to dry the tears from under my eyes.

"Katniss please don't cry." he whispers. "The last thing I want to see is you sad." I put my hands around his wrists and move his hands away from my face.

"I'm sorry, I'm being selfish. You should do what you want to do." I say before leaving the tent. I grab my shoes and make my way to his door. I don't care about being caught. Besides, the house is quiet now. His parents are probably in bed. I exit through the back door and quickly put on my shoes before I dash off into the night. I think I hear him calling my name but I don't look back. I run as fast as I can until I reach my house. Luckily no one is awake to find me in clothes that are not my own. I change into my own clothes and shove his under the bed before crawling under the covers and crying myself to sleep.

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**Sorry this chapter ended on a low note. Any predictions about what will happen next?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to all who reviewed. Here's another chapter...I think you'll like this one ;)**

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 9

I spend the next few days hunting with Gale. Since I have no time constraints, we venture deeper into the woods to hunt. I try to hide what I'm feeling about Merrick leaving early but I think he knows that something is up. He doesn't ask me about it though. He knows I wouldn't want to talk about it. Instead he does little things to try to cheer me up. I really am lucky to have him.

It doesn't stop the hurting though. I try to reason with myself that it wouldn't have mattered. Merrick had to leave here eventually. A few more weeks wouldn't mean anything in the long run. It was wrong of me to think we could even be friends at all. We come from such different worlds. Then I think about how well we were together and that all that stuff didn't matter. He never cared that I was a poor girl from the Seam. My feeling go back and forth about him. One minute I am so angry at him for leaving and the next I want nothing more for him to be holding me in his arms. It's very confusing.

It's been five days since he's left. Gale and I are walking back from town, after dropping off strawberries to the Mayor and a turkey to Cray. As we cross the square, I see a tall blonde approaching us. I first I think my eyes are deceiving me but then I see Merrick walking straight towards me.

"Katniss." he says to catch my attention. Gale shoots me a look, questioning if I know him. He can sense that I want him to give us some space so he walks away.

"I thought you were gone." I say to him.

"I was."

"And you're back now." I say crossing my arms.

"Can we talk later?" he asks me. I almost tell him no but I can see the hurt in his eyes.

"Meet me by the tree around 9." I tell him before walk to meet Gale.

"Who was that?" Gale asks me, clearly perturbed.

"Just a friend." I say.

"Merchant?" he asks.

"Yes." I reply.

"Which shop?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"Which shop does his parents own?"

'_Shoot._' I think to myself. I quickly think something to say. "The shoe shop."

"The Cartwrights don't have a son that age." he tells me. "Who is he really?" I know I'm busted but I decide to remain quiet, at least until we reach the Seam. "Katniss who is he?"

"His name is Merrick."

"I didn't ask for his name. I asked whom he was." he clarified.

"He's not from around here." I say with a sigh. Gale shakes his head as he realizes what this means.

"Since when were you friends with the son of a Peacekeeper?"

"Since I was eleven."

"Eleven!" he says in shock. I explain to him everything as we continue on our way home, about how I first met Merrick and how he found me when he came back. "You really think it's a good idea, for you to be around him."

"He's nice Gale."

"What if someone finds out about the two of you? What do you think would happen?"

"We're careful." I say.

"What if he found out about what you do…about what we do?" he asks.

"He already knows." I blurt out. When Gale stops me, I know I shouldn't have said that.

"What do you mean he knows?" Gale growls. "Katniss, what we do isn't exactly legal, in case you have forgotten."

"I know."

"And what if he tells his father. Do you know what he'd do to us? He'd turn us in for sure."

"He's not going to." I assure him.

"He better not or else our families are as good as dead."

"He's a good guy, Gale. Trust me." I tell him. "It doesn't matter anyway, he'll be gone in two weeks."

"Good." he says before walking off towards his house. As I continue home, I think about our conversation. Gale is right to be angry with me. Maybe I shouldn't have told Merrick about the hunting but I could never see him telling anyone. He's too nice a person. He wouldn't even say it if he was mad at me. When I get home, I spend time with Prim whom I feel I have neglected over the past few weeks. With trying to juggle things with Gale and Merrick, I don't have much time with her. She tells me it's fine and that mother has been there for her, but I'm not sure I believe it.

After Prim goes to sleep, I walk to our tree to talk with Merrick. I know an apology is in order, but I have no idea whether or not I will accept it. I'm still angry with him for leaving me like that. I find him waiting for me at the tree looking awfully worrisome. I can't help but feel that something is wrong. When I finally catch his eye, he starts to cry. Something is very wrong. I wrap my arms around him.

"Katniss, I'm sorry. I never should have left." he admits. "I found out what happened…to Galen." he says with despair in his voice.

"What was it?"

"I was talking to my friends when I got back. They put his name in there Katniss. They snuck his name into the Reaping. That's why he looked so shocked. He didn't even know what was going on."

"Merrick…" I utter as I stroke his cheek.

"They killed him Katniss. They did that to him and they didn't even care. You know what they said, they said they were just joking." he wails. I can't help but feel hatred for those boys and for District 2. What is wrong with them? Galen never should have been there in the first place.

"When did you get back here?" I ask him.

"Yesterday." He pulls away from me so he can see my face. "It was wrong of me to leave you like that. You are right. This is the last time we may ever have together."

"It's ok Merrick. We still have time." I say. I help him up and walk him back towards his house. He must be drained from all the emotions he's been experiencing in the past few days. He takes my hand and leads me up the back steps. He opens the door and walks forward. "Merrick, no, your parents." I remind him.

"Who cares Katniss? What's the worst they can do, kick you out?" he says. He must be so numb that he isn't thinking. Before I know it we are inside his house walking towards the stairs. I feel my heart start to race as I hear the sounds of other people in the house. It almost sounds like there is a party. As we pass the kitchen, I see people working on preparing a meal. When we reach the stairs, I can hear chatter and laughter coming from the dining room. I hold my breath and hope that we don't get caught. Once we are in his room, I slide my back against the wall as I let out a long breath.

"Merrick, never do that again." I say into the darkness. I don't get a response. I don't even see him in the room. I walk to his bed but he's not there. I then hear the toilet flush, followed by running water. He then emerges from the bathroom and shuts off the light. I watch as he pulls off his shirt by the collar. He then kicks off his shoes and let his pants fall to the floor. He's about to remove his underwear when I place my hand on his waistband. "Don't." I murmur. He pulls me closer to him, my face resting again his naked chest.

"Don't leave me Katniss." he says. At this point I don't know what to think except that he's drugged or drunk. I've never seen him like this.

"Don't worry, I'm right here. Let's get you under the covers." He releases me from him and I go to his side of the bed to pull back the covers. He climbs in and I tuck him in. I walk over to the other side of the bed and lay on top of the covers. This isn't sufficient enough for him. He wants me underneath them, with him. Tonight, I don't argue with him. He's already upset enough. We can talk about it tomorrow.

I am the first to wake in the morning. Merrick is still sound asleep. I do not wake him. I lean on my arm to scan the room. My eyes go immediately to the tented area of the blanket near Merrick's crotch. I remember learning about this in health class but I had never actually seen it before. I continue to look at it until I hear a laugh erupt from beside me. I look over and find Merrick looking up at me.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's not polite to stare?" he says wittily. I immediately can feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I don't say anything. I see him move his hand under the covers to adjust himself before he gets out from under the covers and makes his way to the bathroom. I lie down on my side facing towards the window and hear the shower click on. When I hear the bathroom door open I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. I'm still too embarrassed about what had happened earlier. I can hear some of the drawers of his dresser open and close as he picks out his outfit for the day. I few minutes later, I feel the bed shift as he climbs back onto the bed.

"Katniss." he says in a gentle voice. I do not move. "Katniss, I know you're not really sleeping." I turn over and find him lying beside me. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you earlier. That's not what I was trying to do." I nod my head. "What do you feel like doing today?" he asks me.

"I don't know." I say meekly.

"How about you get in the shower while I make us some lunch and they we can decide."

"Lunch?" I ask him.

"Yes, it's already 11. We slept in late today."

"Ok." I say as I get out of bed. He shows me how to work the shower before leaving the room. I lock the bathroom door before stripping off my clothes. I walk into the glass shower and press the buttons he showed me. The warm water flowing down my body feels amazing. We don't have showers in the Seam, and the only way we have warm water is if we warm it on the stove. I take my time washing my hair and body, enjoying this experience.

"Hey Katniss, you almost done in there?" I hear Merrick ask after his knocks on the door.

"Almost done!" I call out to him. I turn off the water and dry off my body before putting my clothes back on. I emerge from the bathroom and find Merrick sitting on the edge of the bed with a basket in his lap. "I thought you were making lunch."

"I did. I was thinking we could go to the meadow and eat it there…like a picnic."

"I'd like that." I say with a smile.

We have the meadow all to ourselves. It's a wonder why more people aren't out here today. It's a gorgeous day with not a cloud in the sky. The sun is shining brightly. The heat of the sun on my skin is intense but it feels kind of good. Merrick looks as if it's a little too much for him; he's probably used to much cooler summers in the mountains. When we finish our lunch, I lead him to the only tree around to provide him with a little shade. I lean with my back against it, contemplating whether I should rest at its base or climb its branches. It might be nice up there with the warm summer breeze that is running through its leaves. I lower my gaze to Merrick to ask him what he thinks we should do but I can tell his mind is somewhere else as he stares at me. I can't help but wonder what he's thinking.

It doesn't look like he's in the mood for climbing so the ground it is. As I begin to lower myself, I feel him stop me. His hands are at my sides as I feel his body make contact. Within seconds, his lips connect with mine. To say I'm shocked is an understatement. Never in a million years did I ever think this would happen. He's my friend. He's been my friend for a long time, but I can't deny the pleasure I'm feeling in this moment. It doesn't feel wrong, even though it should. Friends don't kiss their friends like this.

I feel his lips leave mine, even though I'm not ready for them to stop. I want more. My eyes open and find his. He's looking down at me with the largest smile I've ever seen on him. He presses he forehead against mine as he lets out a lighthearted sigh. I raise myself up on my toes so my lips can find his again. I can feel his lips pull upward before he starts kissing me back. As our lips move in perfect synchronization, I can't help but feel as if nothing else in the world matters but this moment. His tongue flickers against my teeth, requesting permission to enter. I open my mouth, allowing for more than just our lips to touch. I'm glad he knows what he's doing. I've never done anything like this before. I can only hope that he is enjoying this as much as I am.

Suddenly, I feel him being ripped apart from me. My eyes quickly open to take in the scene before me. Merrick is on the ground with Gale towering over him. I'm paralyzed with fear by the fact that Gale of all people has found us. I watch to see what will happen next. Merrick tries to get up but Gale pushes him back to the ground. Gale's eyes tell him to stay down and he does. Gale leaves him when he sees he is no longer a threat and starts towards me. He takes me by the arm and leads me away from the meadow. At first, I think he is going to take me home and reveal to my mother what I had been doing but instead I see we are traveling towards the fence. I know whatever he's about to say to me cannot be good.

He motions towards the ground indicating that I am to crawl under the fence first. I do so and don't even wait for him as I head off to the woods, anger now fueling through me. He had no right to do that. That was my private moment. It was no concern of his. We wait until we are deep in the woods before either of us begins to speak. He starts.

"Are you out of your mind, Katniss?" he shouts at me.

"It's none of your business." I say, trying to control my temper.

"Well maybe I should make it my business since you obviously can't think for yourself."

"What are you going on about?" I huff at him.

"He's a Peacekeeper's son! That should be reason enough for you to stay away." he argues.

"He's different Gale." I say with authority. He runs his fingers through his hair as he paces.

"You know what they are like Katniss, the Peacekeepers…"

"Well good thing he isn't one of them." I quickly add in.

"Yeah, not yet."

"That's not what he wants."

"Why wouldn't he? He'd be set for life. He wouldn't have to worry about working in the stupid mines or spending everyday trying to find enough to keep his family going." Gale says as he kicks the dirt with force. It's then I realize that this goes a lot deeper than me kissing Merrick. I can't help but think that Gale is jealous of him. Jealous of the life he leads. In less than a year, Gale's life will change dramatically. He'll be 18. He'll be out of out of Reaping pool but something just as horrifying will be awaiting him. He'll be forced into the mines, the place where his father died. It wasn't promising at all.

"Gale, what you do is admirable. Not many could do it." I say trying to calm him down.

"I guess what I don't understand is why you chose him." he says, ignoring the flow of our conversation. He wants to talk about what he wants to talk about.

"What do you mean?" I ask him, now confused.

"He'll be gone in a few weeks. I just always thought you might want something more permanent, more practical." he says before letting out a long exhale. I can't help but start to think that he means him.

"Not all Peacekeepers are bad." I say, this time allowing myself to turn the direction of our conversation.

"Yes they are, Katniss. They work for the Capitol. They do horrible things to people."

"If you got to know him, you'd see he's nothing like that." I say gently.

"Why would I want to get to know him?" he asks me and then I realize there is no point for him to do so. In fact, it would probably make Gale hate him even more. "Just be careful, Catnip." he says before walking back, leaving me alone in the woods. I sit down on a tangled root of a nearby tree and give myself a few minutes before walking back to ensure I don't run into Gale. As soon as I am on the other side of the fence, I find myself running back to the meadow. He isn't there of course.

I walk back to my house, still mad at Gale for what he did. I know he cares about me but it wasn't his place to do that. There were times when he did things that I didn't approve of but I never stopped him. When I enter my house, I find it empty. Prim and my mother must have gone somewhere. I go to my room and lay down on my bed. I think about the kiss with Merrick and how good it felt. I wonder what he thought of it. I then think about how I'd like for it to happen again. Thoughts about the kiss float through my head until I fall asleep.

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**YAY THEY FINALLY KISSED! Thanks for being so patient.**

**What did you think of the whole kissing scene...didn't expect Gale to show up, did you? (btw, poor Gale) Let me know what you liked or didn't like about this chapter in your reviews :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Another update! Keep up with the great reviews and the frequent updates will continue ;)**

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Chapter 10

The next two weeks go by quickly. I've waited for Merrick to bring up the kiss we shared under the tree in the meadow, but he never does. Maybe he didn't like it or maybe he thought it was a mistake. I'm too afraid to bring it up for fear of what he will tell me. Instead, we just remain friends, which might be for the better since he will be leaving anyways. We decided for our last night together that we would camp in the tent in his backyard. He cooks us dinner and brings it out to the tent along with some dessert from the bakery.

"I don't want you to leave." I say laying back on sleeping bag underneath me.

"Neither do I. I wish I could stay here. There's nothing left for me back in District 2. My friends…I can't be friend with them after what they did. School is going to be horrible." he says with a sigh.

"Maybe you can make new friends."

"I doubt it."

"There has to be some guys like you there. They can't all be bad." I tell him.

"Katniss, what am I going to do without you?" he asks as he lays down beside me.

"You'll be fine. You don't need me." I tell him as I face away from him. I can already feel the tears start to form in my eyes.

"You're wrong." he says as he moves closer to me. I feel his arm wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him until my back is touching his chest. I can feel his breath on my neck as he takes a few deep breaths. His proximity to me is too much. I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. It hurts knowing he doesn't feel the same way me, that this embrace is nothing more than a friend comforting another friend. After a minute of this, I feel like I'm suffocating. I sit up and crawl out of the tent before running to the wooded area behind the tent. I try to take a few deep breaths to calm myself but I feel even more worked up. My breath flutters as I cry into my hands. I hear him approach and he immediately puts his arms around me. I gently push him away from me and take a few steps back.

"Katniss, what's going on? Why did you run away like that?" he asks me.

"I just need a few minutes to myself. I'll come back, I promise." I tell him. He nods his head, leaving me alone. I sink to the ground, resting my back against a tree as I close my eyes and try to compose myself. It's silent here, very peaceful. I feel myself starting to relax, and before I know it, I'm drifting off.

When I wake up, I am back in the tent with Merrick looking down at me. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here.

"Merrick what happened?" I murmur.

"You fell asleep in the woods. It's a good thing I knew where to find you." he says with concern. I feel his thumb sweep across my forehead, then trace down the bridge of my nose and along each cheekbone.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

"Trying to remember every detail of you." he says. I close my eyes and relish his touch. It feels nice as he traces my features. I can even feel myself start to grin. I then feel his thumb move over my upper lip followed by my lower lip. He moves his hand downward, cradling my neck before I feel his lips touch mine. He gives me a soft, gentle kiss before his lips part mine. Before he can get too far, I place my hand behind his neck and pull him closer to me. I can feel the fire between us ignite and spread with each passing moment. Neither of us tries to stop the other. As much as I want to ask him why he decided to kiss me, I'm afraid that if I stop him, I will no longer get an opportunity to do this again. I move my hands upwards to his blonde locks, running my finger through them. He lets out a moan through his kisses before his hands start to explore my body, eventually resting on my hips. With the passion growing, I feel my breaths becoming more ragged. I gently push him from me so I can catch my breath. He doesn't seem ready to let up as he showers my neck with kisses.

"Merrick, wait. I can't breathe." I say between breaths. He reluctantly removes his lips from me and then lays beside me. We both turn to our sides to face each other. He hand caresses my cheek as he stares deeply into my eyes. I gaze back into his eyes. I contemplate just lying there silently but I need to know what is going through his head. "Merrick why did you do that?" I whisper.

"Because I couldn't let you go without doing that one last time." he whispers back.

"But did you want to…" I trail off.

"Katniss, I haven't able to stop thinking about that moment by the tree. It took all the nerve I had to kiss you and then you never mentioned it again. I thought that maybe you might have felt something but then I just wasn't sure." he said. I can't help but laugh a little. He gives me a confused look that lets me know that I need to explain.

"I was waiting for you to mention it. I thought maybe that you didn't like it…that I wasn't good enough for you."

"How could you ever think that?" he asks.

"I don't know. I though maybe you thought it was a mistake and that you just wanted to be friends."

"Is it wrong of me to want more?" he asks.

"No…because that's what I want too." I admit. He grins before advancing towards me for another kiss. This one is slower but a can feel the passion bubbling up inside of me.

"What happens now?" he asks after he breaks away from me.

"Merrick you're leaving tomorrow…nothing can happen. You know that." I say quietly. After tonight, he could be gone for good. I may never see him again. It makes my heart ache just thinking about him being so far away and that we will be living separate lives.

"Yeah." he says with a sigh.

"Merrick…how long have you liked me as more than a friend?" I ask with curiosity.

"Since the moment I saw you in the square, after you bumped into me. You just looked so beautiful." he says as he brushes my hair behind my ear. I can feel my cheeks blush from his last comment. I've never had anyone call me beautiful before. "What about you? When did you starting feeling something?"

"The first time I spent the night at your house. I was watching you sleep and you woke up and gave me this smile. I got this funny feeling. I wasn't even sure what it was at the time. I had never felt it before, but then it kept on happening and after a while I figured out what it meant." I explain. I see his smile beaming back at me. I let out a yawn. Even though I had gotten a little rest, I am still tired. It must be past midnight.

"Let's get some sleep Katniss." he whispers before pressing his lips to my forehead. I wrap my arms around him and rest my head against his chest. Tonight I just want to be close to him, to feel him near me while I still can.

When I wake up, I see Merrick looking down at me with a worried expression on his face. I know that we are running out of time.

"How long do we have?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"Hour and a half."

"You shouldn't have let me sleep so long." I say as I slowly sit up.

"You just looked so peaceful sleeping there. I couldn't bear to wake you."

"What should we do?"

"Let's go for a walk." he says. We crawl out of the tent and walk to the path behind his house. I feel Merrick take my hand and lace his fingers between mine. It feels good. We remain quiet as we walk through town. There are not many people out today.

"Where are we going?" I ask him.

"To the tree." he says. When we get there, I see why he's brought me here. Sitting under the tree are three large bags. I release his hand and look inside to find the bags filled with food. "I emptied out the pantry last night after your fell asleep and brought these here."

"Thank you." I say with a smile. It's sweet how much he cares about me.

"Here, I'll help you carry them to your house." he says, picking up the two heaviest bags before I can say anything. I lift the third one, which is quite heavy. I hope I can make it all the way to our house. The silence continues as we make our way through the Seam. I lead him around the back of my house where we drop off the bags on the back porch.

We then go to the meadow and sit in the grass. It's already turning out to be a beautiful day. The sun is shining and air is void of any humidity. The sky is a bright blue and fluffy white clouds are scattered in the sky. It seems wrong for it to be so perfect on the day my best friend is leaving me. I'd almost prefer it if the weather matched my mood.

I look over at him and find him staring at me. In this moment, I realize that he's too far away from me. I kneel in front of him and place my hands on his shoulders before pressing my forehead to his. I feel his arms wrap around my waist. He tilts he head and then pressed his lips to mine. I let him take me away from this moment and get lost in his kisses. I never thought that anyone could make me feel this way. I never thought I would ever want this. If it had to be with anyone, I'm glad it was Merrick. He's the kindest person I know. A few minutes into the kiss, I can feel myself feeling lightheaded. I feel myself falling backwards but Merrick tightens his grip around my waist.

"You alright there, Katniss?" he whispers in my ear.

"Just a little dizzy." He sits me in his lap and I rest my head against his chest. I breathe him in, wanting to remember his scent. He rests his chin on the top of my head and hums a tune. It sounds nice, very peaceful.

"Katniss, wake up." I hear him say to me.

"I am."

"No you weren't. You drifted off." he tells me. "It's time for me to get back." We help each other up and hold hands as he walks me back to my house. I can feel the anxiety building with every step I take. Once I am back at my house, this will be over. I can already feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I do my best to hold them back, at least until we are finished walking. We stop at my back porch and he immediately takes me in his arms. I don't hold the tears back anymore. I cry into his chest as he holds me close.

"Shh, Katniss, it's going to be ok." he coos softly to me.

"No it won't. I'll never see you again." I cry.

"I'll find my way back to you. I'm not sure how yet, but we will find each other again."

"How do you know that Merrick?" I ask looking up at him.

"You'd think I'd let you go that easily?" he asks with a weak smile. "My father…he'll have to come back here eventually. When he does, I'll be with him."

"Merrick that could be years."

"I know, and I'm not expecting you to wait for me Katniss. I want you to live your life."

"And what happens if you come back and I am with someone else?" I ask him.

"Then I will respect that and we can be just friends." he says. I don't think I could ever be just friends with him again, but I do not say this. Instead I nod my head. I don't really see it being a problem anyway. I don't plan on being with anyone else. I don't want to get married or have a family. I've made my mind up about that a long time ago.

"You should go." I murmur to him. I don't want to make him late for his train.

"I have a few minutes." he says as he pulls me closer into his embrace. We stand there like that for our last few minutes together. He then moves far away enough from me so that he can kiss me one last time. I start to kiss him ravenously like I'll never feel his lips on mine again. He lets out a small laugh and tell me to slow down. I let him take over and set the pace. He kisses me with slow, deep kisses. He was right. This is much better. When he ends it, he rests his face beside mine so that our cheeks are touching.

"I'll never forget you Katniss, or the summer we spent together. I can only hope that you will cherish it as much as I do."

"I could never forget you Merrick." I say, now smiling. "You're one of a kind." He pulls away from me and gives me one of those smiles that make me feel happy and warm inside.

"So are you. The girl with the braid." he says as he runs his hand down my braid. "I _will_ be seeing you." he says before kissing my cheek.

"Yes, I'll see you." I say with a giggle. I'm glad this is how we are ending it. It would be too much to handle if we were both crying. I might not be able to let him go if that's how we ended it. He runs off, turning around and blowing me a kiss before he disappears from sight. I use the key under the mat to open the back door and drag the bags of food inside. Once they are all inside, I start to unpack them and put them away. It's then that the tears come. I already miss him. I wonder how bad it will be after a week or a month. I see Prim emerge into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.

"Katniss what's wrong?" she asks as she rushes towards me. I can't tell her the real reason because she doesn't know about Merrick. I have to make something up.

"I woke up and all this food was on our doorstep." I say, pretending like I'm crying happy tears. Luckily, she buys it. She starts digging through the bags, see what they contain.

"Can I have these?" she asks holding a bag of cookies.

"For breakfast?" I ask with a laugh.

"Please, Katniss?" she begs.

"Ok, fine, just this once." I say. She looks too excited to deny her dessert for breakfast.

"Thank you Katniss!" she says giving me a hug before sitting at the table. Seeing Prim's joy helps me to dry my tears. I unpack the bags until the cabinets are filled and the fruits and vegetables are placed in the fridge. We shouldn't have to worry about food for a while. I eat some cookies with Prim before heading to my room. I'm still tired. I close my eyes and hope to dream about Merrick and the times we had.

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**Merrick's gone again :( Any predictions on how he'll come back...or when? Also any general thoughts about the story so far are also appreciated (good or bad).**


	11. Chapter 11

**Another chapter. This one is actually all Katniss and Gale.**

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 11

It's been a month since he's been away. I've been doing ok without him. I still go through phases where I miss him so much that I can't help but cry. Some nights, I sleep in his clothes that I found under the bed when I was cleaning my room. They still smell like him. Luckily, I have school to distract me, but the weekends are usually the worst. I have more time to think, even on the days when I am in the woods hunting. I haven't been very helpful and Gale does most of the work. I usually let him keep more of the money we get from the Hob because of this. I don't think he really knows what going on. I tell him that I haven't been feeling well. That excuse is starting to get old. How much longer can I blame my behavior on sickness? Last Sunday I was too sad to get out of bed and he came over to my house when he realized that I wasn't going to show up by the rock. He swore that I had a fever and spent the day making me soup and taking care of me.

Today is Sunday again and I make my way to the rock. Gale is already there waiting for me.

"How are you feeling?" he asks me.

"Better." I say, sitting next to him. He surprises me with a roll from the bakery. He knows how much I like them. I can't imagine how he scrounged up the money to pay for it.

"I traded a few squirrels for it." he says with a smirk. He always is good at reading my mind.

"Do you want some?" I ask.

"No I already ate mine." he says.

"Liar." I say narrowing my eyes.

"Ok fine, so maybe I didn't." he admits. I rip off a piece of the bread and hold it out to him.

"Take it." I say.

"Katniss." he sighs.

"You need to eat too." I reason with him. He listens to me and takes a bite of the bread. When we finish the bread, we eat the last of the berries on the bush behind us and start our journey into the forest. I tell myself that today will be different. Today I will pull my weight and find some game to bring back to the Hob. Gale checks his snare line while I quietly make my way through the woods. I manage to find a deer taking a drink from a nearby stream. It's rare to find deer this early in the fall. I take an arrow from my quiver and line it up with my bow. I hear a twig break behind me and I turn to see what it is. It's Gale.

"Gale!" I scold him in a hushed voice. I look back and it's too late. The deer is gone.

"You really think you could take down that deer." he says with a laugh.

"Yes."

"Even if you did, how would you expect us to hull that thing back? It probably weighs as much as you." he says.

"I just wanted to make up for my lack of game. You know I haven't been bringing much back." I say defeated.

"Catnip it's fine. You know there are times when you do better than I do and I don't make a big fuss about it. We always seem to even each other out." he says with sympathy. "Why don't we walk to the apple trees and see if they are ready for picking." We walk together until we are in a small field that has 2 apple trees standing near the middle of it. I climb up the tree and inspect the apples. Some look ripe enough to pick. I tell Gale to get the bag ready and I toss the apples down one by one. He moves around and catches them in his hunting bag. I climb higher and higher until I have found all the ripe apples. I then make my way down to the ground where Gale is already eating one.

"See, I could never climb like that to get those apples. You did good." he says with a smile. I smile back at him. He always manages to cheer me up. He tosses me an apple and I take a bite. It's so sweet and juicy. Hopefully we can get a good trade for them.

When we are finished our apples, we start to head back to the fence. As we make our way back in silence, I cannot help but think of Merrick. I wonder what he's doing now, if he's found another girl to like. I bet he'd have no trouble finding a girl and she'd probably be really pretty….prettier than me. I feel a tear start to fall. I cannot let Gale see me cry. I run off with an arrow drawn in the opposite direction. Hopefully Gale will think I'm chasing something. When I'm far enough from him, I sit against the base of a tree and let the tears flow. I want him to be here with me. I want him to hug me, and kiss me, and smile that brilliant smile. When I'm sure that I am finished crying, I make my way back to Gale.

"Did you get it?" he asks me.

"No, it got away." I tell him. I look up at Gale and can't help but want to be in his arms, to feel the comfort of being held. I walk closer towards him and press myself against him as I wrap my arms around his torso. I feel his muscles become rigid. He isn't used to hugging me. In fact, I don't think we have done so in all the years we've known each other. I then feel his muscles relax and he wraps me in his arms, resting his chin on my head. I feel his chest move up and down as he takes a slow breath in and out.

"Gale, I miss him." I murmur. A second after I say those words, I feel him pulling me away from him. I can see the hurt in his eyes and I'm really not sure why this comment is having an effect on him. He knows what Merrick means to me. He saw us kissing in the meadow. He doesn't say a word. He just starts back towards District 12.

"Gale wait!" I say as I follow him. Unfortunately for me, he has an advantage of being taller and having longer strides than I do. I sprint after him and don't manage to catch him until we are almost at the fence. "Gale, what's going on? Why did you run off like that?"

"You think I want to hear that?"

"Gale, I need someone to talk to about it. I haven't been doing well."

"So all those times you were sick, you were really just upset about him?"

"I've tried to forget about him but I can't."

"You are lucky he's gone Katniss. What could he have ever been to you? You think that you could actually have ended up with someone from another district…with a Peacekeepers' son?"

"Gale you are my best friend. I need you."

"Never mention him to me again, understand?" he says with malice in his voice. I nod my head. Gale stomps off towards the fence without me. I hide my bow and quiver before making my way home. I still cannot believe Gale acted that way…why he got so mad. I guess I will have to find someone else to talk to.

* * *

As time goes on, the less I think of Merrick. Winter brought on tough conditions and it left me little time to think of him. Instead, I am worrying about finding game with all the snow that has fallen. For two weeks, Gale and I couldn't even get under the fence to get to the woods. I tried to give Gale some of the food Merrick left but he refused. He knew where it came from. Today I decided to sneak over to his house to drop off some food when I knew he'd be away. Mrs. Hawthorne gratefully accepted it without a question and his sibling grew excited as they sifted through the bag. I walk home with a smile on my face happy that I could help them. After all, they are practically family to me.

I go inside my house and wrap myself in blanket on the couch while I try to get some schoolwork done. When I'm finishing my math homework, I hear a loud bang on the door. I already know who is on the other side. I slowly make my way to the door, not ready for this conversation to occur. I open the door and he brushes by me, anger written on his face. He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself before speaking.

"Katniss, what did I tell you about the food?" he says trying to keep an even tone.

"That you didn't want it."

"Yes, so why is it when I come home I find my siblings shoving cookies down their throats."

"Gale you know how bad it is. We haven't been able to hunt for weeks."

"I don't need charity, Katniss. Not from you."

"Gale, you're brothers and sisters are getting thinner by the day. Do you really expect me to sit back and watch them starve? I don't even know how you can bear to watch it. I know how much they mean to you."

"Fine, help them. But just so you know, I won't be eating any of it." he says as he begins to storm out. As he gets to the door, I speak.

"Gosh, what is your problem?" I scoff at him. He removes his hand from the doorknob and slowly turns around before sitting down next to me.

"My problem is that that boy is constantly resurfacing in your life even when he is gone. Stupid little reminders like the food…I know he gave it to you. And Prim tells me you cry almost every night. He's never coming back Katniss. I don't know why you just won't let him go."

"Oh, so now you want to talk about him?" I say crossing my arms. Funny he should bring him up after what he said in the woods about not talking to him.

"You could have other guys Katniss. Lots of guys like you." he tells me.

"Really like who?" I ask, annoyed.

"I hear them say things about you in class and in the halls. Maybe you should give someone else a chance." he says taking my hand. The door suddenly opens and my mother and Prim are back. Gale quickly removes his hand from mine. He greets my family and then mutters something about having to get back to his own home. I sit at the table feeling a little confused. How could Gale go from being so angry at me, to holding my hand? He's never held my hand before. I wonder what it meant, if it was a friendly gesture or something more. He did mention that lots of guys like me. Could he be one of them? I brush off the ridiculous idea; it's silly right? There is no way that my best friend could actually like me as something more, could he? I abandon the thought altogether as I return to the couch to continue my schoolwork.

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**Poor Gale :( I wrote this to show what the time away from Merrick is like for Katniss...not good, obviously. Merrick will be back at some point in the next chapter. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter since it's really unlike the rest of them.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I think you'll like this one... ;)**

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Chapter 12

I wake up and groan loudly into the air. It's the day before Reaping day. One more day until two children from our district are dragged away towards death. I decide to stay in bed a little longer than usual today, thinking about tomorrow. I'll have 20 slips in the Reaping bowl this year. To make matters worse, it is Prim's first Reaping. I've heard her cry at night for the past week while my mother tries to comfort her in the other room. Luckily, I've kept her from taking any tesserae so she'll only have one slip of paper in the bowl this year. That leaves me feeling a little better.

I hear a knock on the door before Prim slowly opens the door.

"Katniss, someone's at the door for you." she says.

"Tell Gale I'll meet him in an hour." I say as I turn to face the wall.

"It's not Gale." she says with interest. I start to wonder whom it could be. I don't know many people that would actually come to my house to see me.

"Tell them I will be there in a minute." I say. She nods and closes the door. I get out of bed and quickly get ready, putting on some clothes, braiding my hair and brushing my teeth. It's way too late to look like I've just woken up. I nervously make my way to the door, hoping it's not a Peacekeeper. Maybe they've found out about my hunting and are here to arrest me. I walk out into the kitchen and see Prim eating lunch.

"Where are they?" I ask her, confused.

"On the porch. I'm not going to let a stranger in here Katniss." she said.

"Oh, yes. Good." I say. Looks like I taught her well. I open to door, but I see no one there. I walk outside looking around but I still see no one. I then feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist.

"Surprise." he whispers in my ear. I turn around to face Merrick. He looks even more grown up then before. He's grown a few more inches and is now about the same height as Gale. I wrap my arms around him so that our bodies are close to one another. He folds me in his arm and kisses me on the top of my head. "Miss me?" he asks with a laugh.

"More than you could ever know." I say.

"I think I have a pretty good idea." He leans down to kiss me but I stop him. He gives me a confused look but then I point to the window where I see Prim's face sticking out from behind the curtain. "Oh, ok. I see. Maybe the meadow would offer a little more privacy." I nod. We start with a walk but then I pick up the pace so that we are both running. I don't want to wait for him any longer than I have to. I lean against the tree to catch my breath, but I don't have long. I feel Merrick press his body against mine as his lips make contact. We grope each other's bodies as we fervently kiss each other. We kiss for what seems like an eternity, making up for all the lost kisses in the past 8 months. By the end, we are both panting heavily as we come up for air.

"I almost forgot how good that felt." he says as lays a few kisses along my jawline.

"Me too." I say although it's not really true. I never had forgotten the power his kisses had over me. I take his face in my hands and bring his face down to my eye level. "How long are you here for?" I ask him. I see him swallow before he speaks.

"I'm just here for the Reaping." he says. I don't like his answer. We only have a day together, maybe two. "Aww come on, Katniss. It's better than nothing."

"I know, it's just not a lot of time." He sits down and pulls me into his lap.

"I had to beg my father to bring me with him. I told him that I was interested in being a Peacekeeper and that I wanted to see what it would be like."

"You do?" I say with worry. I thought he didn't want that.

"No, Katniss, you know that's not for me. Just a clever lie so I could find my way back to you. I told you I'd be back." I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear his answer. I don't want him to ever being affiliated with the Capitol.

"How have you been, with school and everything? I know you weren't looking forward to it." I ask with concern.

"It started out horribly. My old friends were extra hard on me. Tried to make my life hell. I met some new friends, though. They seem nice…not your typical Hunger Games obsessed guys. What about you? How was your year?"

"Good, I guess. Winter was really bad here. If it weren't for your food, I don't think my family would have made it."

"I'm glad I could help." he says with sincerity. "I have to get going. I'm supposed to get a tour of the Justice Building and learn more about Peacekeeper stuff." he says rolling his eyes. I laugh at him. We make our way back to my house and stop once we are on the porch.

"Katniss, I'd like to, if it's ok with you…I'd like to take you on a date tonight." he says, stumbling through his words as he looks at the ground. I think it's cute how nervous he looks right now. I can't help but smile.

"I'd like that. Where should I meet you?" I ask. I hear a laugh erupt from him.

"Katniss, I pick you up at your house. Have you never been on a date before?"

"No I haven't." I say as I feel my cheeks begin to blush.

"Well then I guess I will have to make sure it's extra special." he said flashing me a smile. He gives me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be here at 7." he whispers before he runs off towards town. I can't help but smile when thinking about tonight. I wonder what we will do, where he will take me. I go inside and find my sister and mother in the living room. Prim is reading a book while my mother organizes her medical kit. I ask my mother if I could see her alone and she follows me as I lead her to her room.

"I have a date tonight. I need something to wear." I say hesitantly. I haven't exactly been close to my mother and I'm a little embarrassed to admit this to her. She doesn't say anything. She goes over to her chest and opens the lid. She holds up my Reaping dress but I shake my head. The last thing I want is to wear the dress that reminds me of my least favorite day of the year. Plus, I am afraid I have outgrown that dress. She neatly takes the clothing out and lays them on a floor. I see her face light up into a smile as she removes a folded red dress.

"This is the one." she says before hugging it to her chest. She stands up and unfolds the flowy red fabric. It has short sleeves and would fall right above my knee. I'm not one for wearing such a bold color but it might be a nice change for tonight. I thank my mother, who hangs it up and places it on a hook behind her door.

I spend the next half hour thinking about the date tonight with Merrick. The more I think about it, the more nervous I get. I finally go over to Gale's house and asks if he wants to do a little hunting, or at least check the snare line. He quickly grabs his things and we are on our way. We spend the next few hours in the woods and manage to bring in a good amount of game. We trade at the Hob and split the Game that we saved for our families.

When I get home, I see that my mother is warming water for me on the stove. Within a few minutes, the bath water is ready for me. I sit inside the tub in our bathroom and scrub my hair and body until I feel clean. My mother tells me she'll empty the tub later. I put on my undergarments then wrap my towel around me as I travel to my mother's room. She has the dress ready for me. I see the top half of the dress unbuttons. I didn't notice them hidden behind the fabric earlier. I let my towel fall to the floor and she helps me into the dress. I watch myself in the mirror as I slowly button up the front and smooth the fabric over the buttons. I can see my mother standing behind me with a smile on her face.

"Now don't you look beautiful." she says placing her hands on my shoulders. It feels weird sharing this moment with her. It's the kind of relationship I always hoped for all those years ago when she shut herself away. I'm a little wary to accept her warmness so I just nod my head. "This dress is special Katniss. It was the dress I wore on my first date with your father." she tells me.

"It was?" I asked as I turn to face her.

"Yes, it was. He always loved it when I wore this dress." she says with a sigh. I think I see a tear in her eye but she quickly blinks it away. "Now what should we do with your hair?"

"I just want to wear it down tonight." I tell her. She nods and retrieves the brush from her dresser as she smoothes out my hair. She then finds me a pair of flat shoes and I have left to do is wait for Merrick to appear. I sit on the couch with Prim and read to her to calm my nerves. It is a new book that I got from Hob last weeks. So far, I can tell she really likes the story. I hear a knock on the door and look to the clock. It's a few minutes before 7. I rush to the door and open it to find Merrick standing in front of me. I'm glad I decided to dress up because he is looking nice as well.

"You look beautiful." he says giving me a hug. He then extends a bouquet of flowers towards me. "These are for you."

"Thanks." I respond. I'm sure to be blushing by now. I see Prim appear at my side and take the flowers to place them in water.

"So do I get to meet your mom?" he murmurs, still standing outside on the porch. I figure it's probably the polite thing to do so I take his hand and lead him inside. I give the introductions and my mother asks questions about where he is taking me. He leans in closer to her, obviously keeping it secret from me. I see my mother break into a smile, a rare occurrence as she tell him that she thinks I'll like that. Merrick tells her that we cannot be late and that we must go. We then start off into the dusk.

"So where are we going?" I ask him.

"Somewhere in town." he says, saying nothing more. We walk into the nicer part of town with the shops frequented by the Peacekeepers and their families. No one from our district could afford any of the goods sold on this street, not even the Merchants. He leads me to a restaurant on the corner of the street. Merrick acts like a perfect gentleman, holding the door for me and pulling out my chair.

"Is this how it's done in District 2?" I ask him from across the table.

"Yes it is."

"I've never been to a restaurant before." I say as I look around the room, taking in the décor and the white linen tablecloths.

"Is this ok?" he asks with concern. He must see how uncomfortable I am feeling right now. I'm not even sure what to do.

"Yes, it's fine." I say opening the menu.

"I just wanted to do something special." he says seemingly regretting his decision.

"Merrick, it's fine." I say, giving him a reassuring smile. The dinner passes nicely. We spend the time during the meal catching each other up on what has happened to us in the past few months. He tells me more about his new friends and how he can't believe how much better his life became after he met them. Once the meal is finish and paid for, we leave the restaurant and make our way to my house. Before I know it we are standing on my front porch.

"Thanks for tonight. It was nice." I say looking up at him.

"I'm glad you liked it." he says with pleasure.

"So at the end of the date…I'm suppose to get a good night kiss, aren't I?" I ask playfully.

"I was getting there." he says with a laugh. He then leans closer towards me, letting his lips move against mine. I move my hands up his chest, resting them on the back of his neck. I can feel him press himself against me as he mutters my name between the kisses. I feel myself lose my balance as the lightheaded feeling I've felt before returns. He gathers me in his arms and presses me against the front of the house, providing me with something to steady myself. I feel his mouth move away from mine as he leaves a trail of kisses down my neck and to my chest. I feel a surge of desire course through me as he draws out each kiss on my skin. A light moan escapes me and I quickly cover my mouth, remembering that my mother is probably still waiting up for me.

"Merrick, wait a minute." I whisper.

"Is everything ok?" he whispers back.

"Yes, I just think maybe we should go somewhere else where we don't have to worry about being caught." I lead him to the meadow, which is deserted. Most people are spending the night with their families before the Reaping tomorrow. I feel a little guilty that I am not doing to the same. I find any sense of heated desire that I had before is gone, now that I have thought about the grim day that is to follow. Merrick must have noticed because he's just as quiet as I am. I sit beside the base of the tree and he does the same, pulling me towards him so that I am now sitting in his lap.

"Worried about tomorrow?" he asks.

"Yes, it's Prim's first Reaping."

"She have any tesserae?"

"No." I say somewhat relieved.

"I'd be more worried about myself if I were you. How many slips do you have this year? Twenty?" he inquires as he runs his fingers through the hair on the crown of my head. I nod. "I'm worried for you Katniss." he admits.

"Plenty of girls have as many slips as I do."

"That doesn't make me worry any less." he says kissing my cheek.

"At least I don't have to worry about you." I say, cuddling up to him.

"I wish it were switched, that you were safe from the Reaping. If anything ever happened to you…" he trails off. I pull away from him and look into his sorrow-filled eyes. "Katniss, if anything every happened to you….I don't know what I would do." he tells me through silence.

"I will be fine…I always am." I tell him as I turn to face him. I take his face and my hands and softly kiss his lips. Me telling him this must have made him feel better because he is now smiling at me.

"So what are your plans for tomorrow…before the Reaping that is."

"Hunting with Gale. It will take most of the morning." I say. I can see the disappointment written on his face. "We can spend as much time together as you want after the Reaping." I say to him.

"All night?" he asks.

"Yes, all night." I say as I wrap my arms around the back of his neck.

"Sounds like a plan." he says as he advances closer to me. As he kisses me, my attention goes from his lips sweeping in gentle, fluid movement over mine to his hands that are now working on the buttons on the front of my dress. I'm not sure how he knew they were there. Maybe he felt them when our bodies were pressed against each other on the porch. He unbuttons about five of them before he slides his hand inside my dress, and under my bra. I feel myself jump as his hand lightly massages my left breast. I'm not used to being touched there.

"I'm sorry Katniss, I just thought…" he apologizes as he frees his hand from my dress.

"No Merrick, it's fine. It's just…I've never had anyone do that to me before." I tell him, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. It's not like I didn't enjoy his touch. I just wasn't anticipating it. I take his hand and guide it back to where it rested a few moments ago. I then bring my hands to the sides of his face and pull him down until his lips are crashing onto mine. I feel his hand begin to move in a steady rhythm against me as I feel my nipple harden under his touch. He then changes his touch, this time tracing circles around my newly formed peak. My mouth opens wider as a moan escapes into the air and I feel him suck on my lower lip. This evokes a longer moan as my breath escapes me. I've never experienced anything like this before. My breaths become even shallower as he drags out his kisses on my necks. I feel a sensation between my thighs, something I've never experienced before. This is what it feel like, to want somebody, to need someone. I take Merrick's hand from my chest and slowly bring it down my ribcage, and over my stomach. I feel him take over, as if he knows where I want him to go. Just as his hand grazes my inner thigh I hear a beeping noise sound from his watch.

"Shit." I hear him mutter into my neck. It's weird to hear him swear. I've never heard a bad word cross his lips before.

"What's that mean?" I whisper.

"Have to get back…before curfew."

"Just a few more minutes?" I purr.

"I wish I could. I can't be late." he says. As much as I hate for him to leave, I know it isn't wise to push his luck. The Peacekeepers don't care for excuses.

"It's ok…we still have tomorrow." I say, still giving him some hope.

"Yes, tomorrow." he says with a smile as he strokes my face. I feel a smile on my face as he says this. I stand up and then help him up off the ground. "Ah, you almost forgot something." he says as he begins to button my dress. "Wouldn't want your mother to get any ideas about what the latter part of our date entailed." When he finishes my button, he places a finger beneath my chin and raises my head until our eyes meet. We gaze at each other for a couple seconds before he takes my hand and leads me back to my house. When we are on my porch, he presses me against the front door as lips find mine for a short kiss.

"Did you have fun tonight, Katniss?" he murmurs as he looks into my eyes. I nod my head as I grin. "Best first date ever?"

"I haven't had any to go on, but yes, it was the best." I tell him. "Meet me by our tree tomorrow night…at 9 o'clock." I tell him.

"Goodnight, Katniss." he whispers as he lips skim my cheek.

"Goodnight, Merrick." I whisper back. He takes a few steps back and waves before turning around to start his journey. I only hope he'll make it back in time. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I think of how perfect tonight was. I then turn around and open the door and all that perfection escapes my mind. Instead, I see Prim crying hysterically in my mother's arms.

"Prim." I mutter in a panic as I rush to her side. She clings onto me and I can feel her whole body shaking. "Prim you have to calm down." I say, trying to reason with her.

"I don't want to go tomorrow. Please don't make me." she says. She sounds so helpless it's hard for me to believe that she's 12. She sounds like a little child who's afraid to go to her first day of school.

"Prim, listen. It's just one little piece of paper out of thousands. You'll be safe." I tell her. "I know it's scary, the first time. I remember. It will be fine. You'll stand with your friends from school and in a half hour, it will all be over. Trust me, I know you can do this."

"Katniss, can I sleep with you tonight?" she whimpers.

"Of course." I reply. I lead her into my room and pull back the covers. I change out of my dress into some regular clothes before joining her. I feel my sister clutch onto me. Even though her tears have dried, I can still feel her shaking. I know what do to calm her now. It's what I've always done when she's upset. I sing to her the lullaby my father used to sing to us when we were young. I sing it for what seems like forever until I feel her body relax. I look down to find her asleep and then I stop my song. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep as well.

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**Merrick's back and they've had their first real date. Things got a little steamy there...sorry if it was too soon. I just couldn't resist. ) What did you think about the date? Also Reaping is next chapter...predictions?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed! I can't believe the story is almost at 100 reviews! Keep up the great work! BTW, it's Reaping day! :o **

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Chapter 13

I wake up at dawn, when the sunlight is just starting to peak through my window. I gently release Prim from me and tiptoe to the corner of my room to change. I put of my usual hunting clothes and grab my bag as I make my way out of the house. I hurriedly make my way to the fence, checking to make sure I cannot hear the low hum of electrical currents. You never know on Reaping days. Once I retrieve my gear, I jog to the rock where I wait for Gale. I always like to get here early and take in the beauty of the valley below me. It really is beautiful here, it's a shame more people can't enjoy it. It seems like I wait forever for him to appear. While I wait, I lie back on the rock and stare up at the sky and think about Merrick, and what happened last night…and what could have happened last night had we not been interrupted. My thoughts are broken when I feel a shadow on my face. I sit up and see Gale smirking at me.

"Daydreaming?" he asks.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." I say as I scoot over to make room for him.

"How's Prim doing today?"

"She was still sleeping when I left. Last night was pretty bad. How's Rory?" I ask with concern. It's his brother's first year in the Reaping as well.

"Terrified. I feel bad for the little guy. You can tell he's trying to hide it but you can see it written all over his face."

"And what about you? How are you feeling?" I ask with concern.

"I'm good."

"How many slips do you have this year?"

"42. What number are you up to?"

"Twenty." I say. I look over at Gale who's staring into the distance with a furrowed brow. He looks deep in thought.

"What is it?" I ask him. It's one of the few occasions where I don't know what he's thinking.

"We could do it you know…" he trails off.

"Do what?"

"Run away, you and I. Live in the woods. Be free." I don't where this idea is coming from, him thinking I would just run off with him. He looks to me for a reply but I'm sure what to say. "Or not."

"What made you think of that?" I ask him.

"I was thinking the other day…I thought that I could be happy if this was my life, living out here instead of working in the mines."

"And why would you need me?" I ask. I'm curious as to how I managed to fit into his plan.

"Forget it. It's a stupid plan." he says shrugging it off.

"It's ok to dream Gale." I say patting my hand on his back.

"Not in the sorry state we live in."

"It sounds nice…your plan. It could never work, but it would be nice." I tell him, hoping to make him feel better.

"Really?" he asks, his voice going up at the end of his question.

"Yes, you know I love it out here." I say with a smile. He returns the gesture.

"Oh, by the way, look what I shot." he said reaching into his hunting bag. He pulls out an arrow with a small loaf of bread pierced through the middle. I can't contain my laughter as I look at the ridiculous image. I pull the arrow from the bread and return it to him before inhaling the amazing aroma of the fresh bakery bread.

"How did you get this?"

"I already told you…I shot it." he says giving me a smirk. "Just kidding. I checked the snare line early today and found a few squirrels. The baker was interested and gave me quite the offer."

"Well I can only hope that the others will be as generous during our trades today."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Gale says before putting on his best Capitol accent. "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds—"

"—be _ever_ in your favor!" I finish after catching the berry that he threw my way in my mouth. He then slices the bread and we eat the warm bread and berries from the bush before starting our expedition. We make off with a good hull, and quickly make our way to the Hob to trade. We then make our way to the Mayor's house to drop off strawberries. Madge answers the door and Gale says some smart comments to her that deeply embarrass me. He knows that Madge and I are sort of friends. We walk back to the Seam, reaching his house first. He takes the food we bought and traded for at the Hob, since his mother will be preparing the celebratory meal as she always does. I say goodbye to him and anxiously make my way home. I can only hope that Prim has kept it together this morning.

I walk inside and find Prim and my mother are ready. I quickly make my way into the bathroom and scrub myself clean in the water waiting for me in the bathtub. I walk into my room and find an outfit laid out for me. It's a new dress, one I have never seen before. It is a soft blue and there is a pair of matching shoes to go with it. I quickly dress myself and my mother braids my hair and pins it up. Prim tells me I look beautiful. I shake my head and insist that she is the beautiful one.

We make our way to the square and I show Prim what to do and where to go. I stand with the other girls my age and look around crowd until I find Gale on the other side of the aisle. His eyes seem brighter than usual as he gives me a little smile and wave. I hear Effie Trinket's voice ring through the sound system and I know it's time to begin. A short video plays and then speeches are made before she announces that it's time to select the tributes. A panic rushes through me as I hope that no one I know is called. I look over to him as he mouths me 'Good Luck!'. I mouth 'You too.' back to him and then we turn to face forward. Effie reaches into the bowl, carefully selecting a name from the girls' bowl. She slowly opens the folded slip and reads the name. That is when my world falls apart.

"Primrose Everdeen." she calls. The crowd goes silent and everyone has a watchful eye as they wait for my sister to appear. I watch as she slowly makes her way to the center aisle. I feel helpless, like there is nothing I can do. Except there is something I can do. I've seen it happen in other Reapings. I can volunteer to take her place. I find myself pushing girls around me out of the way as I struggle to make my way to the center aisle. I shout her name and run towards her, not stopping until she's in my arms. "I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute." I shout loudly for all to hear.

The whole crowd looks shocked as most of them have never seen this happen before. Effie Trinket calls me to the stage. I feel Prim's grip tighten on me and I tell her to let go and to go find mom in the crowd. I then feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around to find Gale behind me.

"I've got her." he said, taking a panic-stricken Prim into his arms. "Up you go, Catnip." he says, trying to keep his voice from wavering. I can see the emotion in his eyes though. He's clearly upset. Effie's bright and bubbly voice rings out as she calls me to the podium to tell everyone my name. She says something about being Prim's sister and I nod as I try to keep myself from falling apart. She asks for applause but the crowd remains silent before I see them kiss their three fingers on their left hand and extend them towards me. This happens in waves until everyone's left hand is saluting me, honoring me for what I have done.

Haymitch Abernathy, our only remaining Victor and town drunk, interrupts the moment, ranting about something that I don't care enough about to pay attention to. He then causes quite the commotion as he falls of the stage. Effie Trinket brings it back around to the task at hand and then draws the name of the boy tribute. It's Peeta Mellark, the son of the baker. I don't know him at all. I've never had a conversation with him in my whole life but I do catch him staring at me now and again. I've always wondered what that was about. What he could possibly be thinking? He looks nervous as he makes his way to the podium. Effie forces us to shake hands and then we are led inside the Justice Building, to separate rooms. Now is when our final goodbyes begin.

First, my mother and sister are escorted into the room by Peacekeepers. Prim rushes to me and holds onto me for dear life, telling me that I have to win. I tell I will try my best. I then give my mother instructions about what to do when I'm gone. I stress for her not to check out like she did when my father died. Prim needs her now that I will not be there. After a few minutes, they are shown out of the room and then Gale enters. I run to him and we embrace each other.

"I'm fine…I'm fine." I say. I don't know why I say this. No one who is reaped is ever fine.

"Katniss, I'm sorry about everything I said to you. All the times I was mean to you about Merrick. I only said it because I…" he pauses and he puts on a more serious expression. "You can do this…win this. Get your hands on the bow and it's yours."

"Gale, they might not have a bow." I say.

"Then you make one. There's always some source of wood in the Arena." he tells me. It is true, but I know I am not skilled at bow making. Making arrows to go with it is also a challenge. He then tells me the Games is just like hunting but I disagree. Hunting people is a lot different than hunting animals. I just nod back at him. The door opens and the Peacekeepers enter. I feel Gale pull me closer to him.

"Gale, don't let them starve." I shriek.

"I won't, you know I won't." he murmurs. "Katniss I—" His last words are cut off as the Peacekeepers yank him away from me and carry him out of the room. The door closes with a force. A minute later, Madge Undersee comes into the room and gives me the gold pin from her dress and asks if I'll wear it as my District token. I tell her I will and I let her fasten it onto my dress. She wishes me luck, and even hugs me before leaving the room.

I walk over to the window as I wait for the Peacekeepers come to collect me for the train station. I look out onto the square, watching small groups of people converse. Most of the people have already dispersed. I hear the door open and close from behind me but I do not turn around. I know it's not the Peacekeepers because I only hear one set of footsteps echoing through the tall room. I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist. It's Merrick. He presses his face to my hair and breathes me in. I place my arms over his, making sure he won't let go of me. We stand there for a couple of seconds in silence.

"You can do this. I know you can. You're the strongest person I know." he tells me. "And the bow…and everything else you can do. I just know…" he trails off. I turn around to face him and I can see it's taking every ounce of him to keep himself together. I think about how this is the second year in a row he'll have a friend going into the Games. After what happened last year, I don't know how he isn't in tears.

When I look up at him, I think about my future and everything I will not get to experience if I don't make it out. I will never get to have sex. I wish I had had more time with Merrick last night. It might have happened. I also think about the fact that I will never get married or have children. I never wanted those things but now that they are being taken away from me, I think I might want them. Of course I would want something I could never have.

"I wish we had more time." I say with a sigh. Merrick leans down and brushes his lips against mine.

"What would you do with more time?" he mumbles. I feel the blush hit my cheeks. "Oh, those kind of things." he says with a grin, knowing that there is no way I'd say it out loud. "We'll have plenty of time, don't you worry." He must really believe in me.

"Merrick, kiss me." I whisper to him. He obliges and I feel his mouth on mine, kissing me with deep, passion-filled kisses. I feel his mouth leave mine, probably to explore other parts of my body, but I want none of that right now. I direct his lips back to mine and lightly brush my tongue against his, letting him know what I want. I hear him moan deeply before I feel his tongue dance around with mine. My hands grasp on to the fabric of his shirt and I pull him with me as I back up against the wall. His hips press against me and I feel a moan escape from my mouth. I release my hands from his shirt and lead them down to his belt. As soon as I begin to pull the belt away from the buckle, I feel his hands on mine.

"I don't think the Peacekeepers would appreciate walking in on that." he says with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess not." I say sheepishly. To be honest, I had forgotten about them.

"Don't worry, there _will_ be time." he says cupping my cheek. "When you come to District 2 for the Victory Tour, I will be there, I'll make sure of it. And we can do whatever you like." he says nuzzling his nose against mine. I can't help but smile. The way he says it, it's like it's certain. That I will make it out of the Arena, that I will see him in his home district. His words give me confidence and I find myself actually believing them. I stand on my toes to give him a brief kiss and then the Peacekeepers come in. Instead of taking him away from the room, they take me, which leads me to believe that they didn't even know he was in there. They guide me to the car, where Effie Trinket and Peeta are waiting for me. The Peacekeepers shove me into the car next to Peeta's side. Effie drones on about something but all I can concentrate on is Peeta's tear stained face. I reach my hand over to his and give it a firm squeeze. Maybe I can be strong enough for the both of us. I see him look over at me with surprise, his mouth hanging open. I release my hand from his and turn to face out of the window. I watch District 12 rush by me and I try to take in every last glimpse of it before I leave for the far off land of the Capitol.

I make my way onto the train, and Effie leads us to our sleeping cabins, telling us we have time before dinner. I go into mine, locking the door before collapsing on the bed. I can no longer keep the tears in now that reality has sunk in. I am no longer in District 12, or with my friends or family. I'm headed to the scariest place a child in Panem can go, with only a small chance that I will ever return. Even if I do return, who knows what condition I will be in.

I hear a knock on my door and Effie tells me through the door that dinner starts in 10 minutes. I go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face before going to the dining car. When I enter, I see Peeta and Effie waiting at a table with elaborate place settings. Haymitch, our mentor, is still missing. We beginning the meal without him, gorging on the multiple courses they bring us.

Once dinner is over, we are escorted to another car to watch the Reaping Recaps. As I watch the brute of a boy from District 2 volunteer with a cocky grin, I can't help but wonder if he knows Merrick; if he was one of the friends that betrayed him. Other Reapings play on the screen and I size up the competition. The Careers look rather intense this year. They will definitely be a challenge. My heart sinks for those that I know don't have a fighting chance: the crippled boy from District 10 and the little girl from District 11. District 12's Reaping is last and I don't have the heart to watch. I already know what happened. I stand up and turn for my room, brushing shoulders with Haymitch as he appears in the car. Just before the door closes I can hear him vomit. I clamp my hand over my mouth as I make my way back, stifling the choking sound as my tears return. I fling open the door to my room and rush to my bed, burying myself under the covers.

"I don't want to be here." I whisper to no one.

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**Katniss is going into the Hunger Games (like you didn't see that coming)! I'm not going to spend much time on the Games in this story (a chapter or two). That's not what I really want to focus on.**

**Also, I need your help. Should Peeta die in the Games or make it out alive like in the original book. If he lives, it could complicate things with Katniss and Merrick but if he dies there will be no spark for the rebellion. What a dilemma! Let me know in your review or you can PM me to tell me which way you'd like to see the story go.**

**P.S. I was really tempted to put Merrick into the Games with Katniss but decided not to. I am planning on writing a spin off where that does in fact happen. Would anyone be interested in reading that?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello! Sorry for the lapse in time since my last update. I've been busy with finals and Christmas. I was also debating on what to do with Peeta. I made this chapter extra long to make up for it. Hope you enjoy it.**

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Chapter 14

The week of preparations goes by quickly. I received an 11 during my private sessions, which most would consider a good thing but I know the real reason why, thanks to my mentor. I did something I shouldn't have. I shot an arrow in close proximity to the Gamemakers. The only reason I did it in the first place was to get their attention. They were more interested in the food than me. Now I have the highest score, making me a target for tributes.

It is now the night of the Interviews, the final night before the Games start. I nervously pace in my room as I wait for Effie to come and collect me. My hair is done along with my makeup and I'm in a red dress that Cinna told me lights up in flames when I twirl. It's a running theme with my outfits, starting with the fiery outfit I wore on the night of the Opening Ceremony.

I hate to admit it but the pacing is also due to something that upset me earlier. I spent the whole week with Peeta Mellark, in training and on the rooftop during our free time. I got to know him pretty well since our arrival in the Capitol. Today, when he didn't show for breakfast, Haymitch informed me that he wanted to be coached separately. At first I was confused but now I get it. Tomorrow we will be competing against each other in the Arena. He's probably just trying to distance himself. It still hurts though. We got along so well and it was nice having someone from home to talk to, even though we didn't know each other before this tragic turn of events. I hear a knock on the door and Effie enters, commenting on how marvelous I look. The whole team of District 12 makes their way to the lobby of the Training Center where everyone is starting to gather.

I do my best to ignore Peeta, avoiding his gaze as I look strait ahead. We are lined up in order by District, with the girls first. This also allows me to not have to see him. This doesn''t stop him from trying to talk to me.

"Katniss." he whispers, bringing his lips close to my ear.

"Don't." I say back to him. I don't feel like hearing his apologies. It doesn't matter now. Tomorrow, we will be on our own.

The line starts moving and I muster a small smile as we make our way onto the stage. We take our seats and Caesar Flickerman begins by introducing each of us. He then got straight to the interviews starting with District 1. I hate that we have to be the last District to be interviewed. I just wanted to get it over with. When it finally was my time, I make my way to the chair. I embarrass myself when I don't hear the first question and ask 'What?' causing laughter from the audience. Thankfully Caesar helps me, and the rest of the interview goes well. I even manage to show the audience my dress and what it can do. They seem to love it. Maybe I can actually get sponsors and win this. I'd do anything to get back to my family and Merrick. Even if I only saw him on the Victory Tour. That would be enough for me.

I listen in on Peeta's interview. I missed the first part. Caesar is now asking him if there is a special girl back home. When he finally admits that there is, I can't help but wonder whom. I don't know much about the romantic lives of my classmates but I don't remember him ever having a girlfriend. Caesar than tells him to win so she can't turn him down. He then says that winning won't help and when Caesar asks why, he stammers out, 'Because she came here with me.'

My eyes widen when I realize what he means…he means me. I am the girl he's had a crush on since he can remember. I look at the ground so all of Panem won't see my shock. I can feel the blush hit my cheeks so much that they are burning with heat. I look up at the screen and can see the cameras are waiting for my reaction. I look shy but beautiful thanks to the work of Cinna and my prep team.

They finish the interview and we are escorted off the stage. A bunch of tributes are put into the elevator before it is sent up. Luckily, he is not in here with me. I'm still angry at him for embarrassing like that. I am alone as I reach my floor. When I exit, I see him walking off the elevator next to mine. I grab him by his lapel and slam him into the wall across from me. He slides down before trying to get up and I push my heel into his chest causing him to fall again.

"What was that for?" he asks in shock.

"Why did you say that?" I shout at him as glare into his eyes.

"Why wouldn't I say that?" he bellows back.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" I say pounding my fist on his chest as a few tears manage to pass down my face. I can't help but think of Merrick and the fact that he had heard that. What must he think of me? Does he think I've moved on? My anger fuels my actions as my fists repeated hit Peeta's chest. I feel hands pulling me away from him and look back to find Cinna and Haymitch separating us.

"What's going on here?" Haymitch reprimands us.

"You heard what he said…about him and me. He had no right to say that."

"Oh that's all?" Haymitch guffaws.

"What do you mean that's all?" I say now charging at him. Cinna stops me and steadies me by placing his hands on my shoulders.

"He did you a favor."

"He made me look stupid." I retort.

"He made you desirable." Haymitch answers back. "Before he said that, you looked like a silly girl, twirling around with that dress of yours. Now everyone is pulling for the star-crossed lovers of District 12."

"But we aren't star-crossed lovers!"

"Who cares? Let them believe what they want to believe. I'll have sponsors lined up around the block after that." And I know he's right. The crowd when crazy when they heard Peeta's confession. They love the fact that there would be something new and exciting in the Games this year. Effie breaks off the fight, announcing we are late for dinner. We all file into the room and take our seats as our final evening together begins.

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The next morning goes by in a flash. After breakfast, I am given a shot to inject my tracker and then loaded into a hovercraft with the other stylists and tributes as we are taken to the Arena. They black out the windows so we are unable to get a peek of the environment that we will be raised into in an hour's time. Once we are underneath the Arena, we are taken to separate rooms where our Head stylists prep us alone. I am lucky to have Cinna. He is amazing. He's not like the other Capitol citizen. He doesn't dress flamboyantly or drone on about gossip. We spend most of the hour in silence as he dresses me and braids my hair. He radiates a calmness, which prevents me from freaking out too much. He then pulls out the pin that Madge gave me and attaches it to my outfit. I had almost forgot about it.

Before I know it, it's launch time. I hug Cinna tightly and thank him before stepping on the plate that will raise me into the Arena. I feel my heart start to race as I move upwards. The sun shines brightly as I rise from the ground. The Arena resembles the woods near my home. At least I'll have a little advantage having hunted in a similar environment. I know the resources available to me. The countdown begins and I quickly look around to see which tributes are near me. No one too threatening is to my direct right or left. A few plates over, I see Peeta look over at me and shake his head. He must know that I am currently thinking about running towards the Cornucopia even though Haymitch told us not to. I nod in response.

When the countdown runs out, I step off my plate I jut towards the Cornucopia just to get the backpack not too far ahead of me. This only leads to trouble as the girl from District 2 throws knives at me. I use the backpack to deflect them as I run into the forest. At least my low weight has one advantage: it keeps me fast. I run for what seems like forever. I wonder about Peeta and if he has managed to make it out of the bloodbath. I then stop in my tracks as I think about our strategy. Was I supposed to meet up with him? I never did ask Haymitch about that. I sweep it from my mind and focus on finding water. Haymitch said that was important. If I am meant to be with Peeta, we will somehow find a way to each other.

After searching for most of the day, I finally find a water source. I fill up the water bottle I found in my backpack and purify it with the iodine droplets. I wait for them to work and I quickly rehydrate myself. As I am drinking I hear the canon sound, signifying that the bloodbath is over. There are 11 shots fired. I can only hope that Peeta is not among the dead. I refill the bottle and place some more drops in before I am on my way. The sun is setting now and I know I should find some place to rest from the night. I decide on a tall tree not too far away. It looks sturdy and its foliage should keep me hidden. When I am a safe distance up, I open my backpack and retrieve the sleeping bag to keep me warm, a long rope to tie myself to the tree so I won't fall out when I rest.

Night falls and the Anthem plays. Peeta is still alive. That thought is enough to calm me as I try to get some rest. What little peace I have is interrupted when I see a fire lit closeby by another tribute. I silently curse her for luring other tributes to us. It's only a matter of time before the pack of Careers is but a few feet from my tree. I listen as they chase her. Her scream alerts me that they found her and I know what is next. They walk back towards me talking and bragging about their latest kill. When they notice the cannon hasn't sounded, they suggest that someone goes to finish her off. My heart stops when I hear a voice volunteer to do it. It belongs to Peeta Mellark. I then start to wonder about the Careers letting him join their alliance and why he'd want to. The cannon sounds and he returns and the Careers carry on. I close my eye and try to get some rest before the long day ahead of me.

* * *

The past few days have been rough. I managed to escape death by the hands of the Gamemakers but not without injury. A fireball managed to nip my leg making it more difficult to move. The Careers managed to find me and chased me up a tree. I did manage to get away from them by sawing off a branch that had a Tracker jacker's nest attached to it. I was stung a few times but the girls from District 1 and 4 died as a result of it. Peeta got stung too but I'm not sure how bad it was. It might have been the hallucinations I suffered from but I could have sworn he tried to help me. I'm not sure what happened next because I passed out.

When I awoke, I found the girl tribute from 11, Rue, using plants to draw the venom from the tracker jackers out of my skin. She reminds me of my sister. We formed an alliance and managed to make quite a mark in the Arena. We successfully took out the Careers food source. Things took another turn for the worst shortly after that. The boy from District 1 speared Rue right in her chest, a fatal injury. I quickly took him out and rushed to Rue, singing and holding her before her cannon fired. I covered her in flowers before leaving her. I almost lost my will to survive as I wept for her. I had failed her. I thought I could protect her. I was wrong.

I don't get out of my depression until I hear Claudius Tempersmith's voice announce a rule change. He says both District tributes can be crowned as Victors if they are the last ones standing. I finally have a purpose. I need to find Peeta Mellark and I need to get him out of here alive. I begin my hunt again, starting where I last saw him, by the stream. I step on a rock by the embankment when I hear a groan. I look down but see no one. I whisper his name, just in case he's hiding. I then hear his voice mutter "Here to finish me off, sweetheart?" I look below me to find him camouflaged with the rocks and mud around him. I help free him and clean him in the stream. It's there I notice the gash in his pant leg. He tells me that the boy from District 2, Cato, got him with his sword. I take off his pants and am disgusted by the sight in front of me. It take everything in me now to vomit right there. Instead, I use the leftover plants that Rue gave me to draw out the pus from his wound. This makes my stomach even weaker. He tells me to leave him, that he's a lost cause but I refuse. I am not leaving without him.

I help him out of the water and we climb a large hill until I find a safe place for us, inside a small cave. I lay him down, resting his head on my backpack.

"Katniss…thank you. You didn't have to…" he says.

"We're in this together." I say brushing some hair out of his face.

"Earlier…with the Careers." he begins.

"Shh, Peeta, you need to rest."

"No, you have to know. The only reason I joined them was to keep you safe. That first night, I saw you in the tree. I tried to keep them away from you. I never thought we'd cross paths."

"It's fine. I'm sorry about the tracker jackers. I thought you were with them. If I had known, I would have given you warning."

"I'm just happy we found each other." he says with a smile.

"Me too. Now close your eyes. You need your rest." This time, he listens to me and closes his eyes.

* * *

The next few days pass by and Peeta case is more severe. He fever has spiked and the infection is growing worse. Haymitch hasn't sent anything for it. I know that if something doesn't happen soon, he will die. He tries to put on a brave face but there are times where he breaks. I can see the agony on his face. Other times, he is delirious, ranting on about past memories of his family and District 12. Sometimes, he looks so weak that I think he's in his final moments. Right now is one of those times.

"Katniss, come closer." he breathes out. I do as he says and position my face close to his. He then says 'closer' and I know that he doesn't want the audience to hear. I place my ear next to his mouth and wait. "Kiss me." I pull back to look at him and find his eyes pleading with me.

"Why?" I whisper in his ear. I then place my ear next to his mouth.

"I don't have much longer and it's the only way to get the medicine." he says. I know he's right. We are supposed to be star-crossed lovers, after all. The audience is probably waiting for us to show our affections. I guess me taking care of him is a start but it's not enough. I know it's time to kick our strategy into full gear.

"You're going to be fine." I say as I caress his cheek.

"It hurts so much." he says producing a film of tears over eyes. "Katniss, I'm not ready to go yet…I'm not ready to let go of you."

"I'm right here." I say pressing my forehead to his. I know this is it; that a kiss would fit in well here. Only my feelings for Peeta run no deeper than friendship. I'm not sure I can kiss him and make it look convincing. I have no choice though. I react quickly and lower my lips to his. Then, I do something I'm not proud of. I close my eyes and pretend that I'm kissing Merrick instead. He lips stay still for several seconds. For a moment, I start to question if he's even conscious but then feel his warm breath against my lips before he reciprocates the kiss. The way he kisses me tells me there are some sort of emotions behind the kiss. I wonder if he is imagining that he is kissing another girl, someone he left back in District 12. I end the kiss about a minute in. I don't want him to overexert himself. I know how weak his body is right now. I look down at Peeta and find him gazing up at me. I give him a brief kiss on the cheek and then smile warmly at him. I feel him place his hand over my hand, which is currently resting on his chest, lacing his fingers between mine.

We stay in silence for a while. I don't know what I should say, if anything. I'm not good at showing me emotions even if they real. How am I supposed to fake them? The added pressure that our lives depend on what I say or do doesn't help. I then think of his wound. Maybe if the audience gets a good look at it, they send in their money to sponsor us.

"Your leg…" I begin to say as I pull away from him. I stop the rest of my sentence as I feel his grip on my hand tighten.

"Leave it." he says. It's almost as if he wants me close to him.

"I haven't checked it since this morning. Your bandages may need changing." I say, pulling my hand from his. I unzip the sleeping bag that is covering him and unwrap the bandage that covers his wound. I place my hand over my mouth to stifle the gasp coming from my mouth but I'm too late. It pierces the air and I know he can hear it. His wound has swelled quite a bit and tiny red streaks are branching up his leg. It's the worst possible thing that could happen. The blood poisoning is starting to kick in.

"How is it?" he asks.

"The pus has stopped." I say, trying to be optimistic. I just want the audience to see how bad it is without letting him know the seriousness of his condition.

"Let me see." he says starting to sit up.

"Peeta, no." I say as I block his way. He gently moves me to the side and inspects his leg. I look down at my lap sighing in defeat.

"It's blood poisoning, isn't it?" he says his brow furrowed. I see the side of his mouth pull upward for just a second, and suddenly I know what he's doing. I'm sure by now everyone is the Capitol is pulling up 'blood poisoning' on their devices, trying to find out more information about it. I decide to help them out a little bit.

"It's still in the early stages. If we could just get some medicine you'd be fine." I say, letting them know a cure is possible.

"How much longer do I have?" he says as the worry shows through.

"I'm not sure. A day or two. You just need to hold on. We're almost there." I tell him as I wrap the gauze around his leg. Before I can cover him up, I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and pull me close to him, so that I'm laying beside him, the front of me pressed along his side. I hear him exhale deeply before he buries his face into the crown of my head. His arms tighten around me.

"Are you ok? Does it hurt?" I ask with apprehension.

"I wish we had more time." he murmurs.

"We have right now." I whisper.

"I always wanted to talk to you…when I saw you in the halls or in the square. I could never get up the nerve to even say hi." he tells me. I can't help but notice how well he can stay in character; that he is in love with me despite the pure agony he must be going through. I let him continue. "I guess I'm lucky in that respect, that my name was called at the Reaping. It finally gave me a reason to talk to you. It gave you a reason to notice me."

"Peeta, I've noticed you." I lie. I wonder if he'll accept it or call me out.

"You should have said something." he says.

"_You_ should have said something. " I say slyly repeating his words. I brush my lips against his for a short kiss. When I go to pull away, I see him advance towards me, as if he isn't ready for the kiss to end.

"Peeta, you need to rest." I say as I press my cheek against his to deflect his lips.

"I can't help myself." he says playing with my braid. I can feel the warmth of his skin again mine, signifying that his fever is getting worse. I sit up and put the back of my hand to his forehead. It's burning although the sweat is no longer present. It might be a sign that he is dehydrated. I make him drink a good amount of water from my water bottle and he even manages to eat a few crackers.

When I tell him to get some rest, he tells me he is afraid to close his eyes. I lie down beside him and tell him that I'll be with him the whole time. He still looks scared so I drape my arm around his stomach and pull myself closer to him. He seems to like the close proximity and his eyelids droop down. Once I'm sure he is asleep, I sit up and examine his leg. The red streaks on his thigh have traveled further south. Now is when I really start to worry about him. I can't contain the sound that escapes my mouth. It almost feels like I'm drowning. I can't get any air into my lungs. I run out of the cave into the rain and gasp as the tears fall. I don't want him to die. He's such a nice boy. I didn't know him well back in District 12 but I knew that everyone that knew him loved him. There were only kind words said about Peeta Mellark.

"Please help." I call out in exasperation, as if that would really do me any good. Just because I ask for help, doesn't mean that anything will come of it. I look up in the sky, waiting for a package to drop but the only thing that falls are the droplets of rain. I wait for minutes like this but nothing changes. I run back inside the cave when I think about him and how I don't want him to wake up thinking I left him. Once inside the dank cave, I feel myself shivering to my bone. It was stupid of me to go running out in the rain like that, especially in the nighttime when they lower the temperature. I remove my outer layers and squeeze out the water before hanging them to dry. I return to Peeta and climb to the folded part of the sleeping bag before draping it over our bodies. The fever has raised his whole body temperature providing me with the warmth I need to prevent me from freezing. I think about how scandalous it must look to everyone watching at home, the two of us scantily clad under a sleeping bag. Right now I don't care. It's not like we really have feelings for each other. We are just friends.

I place my head on his chest, with my ear over his heart. It lets me know that he's still alive, that he's still with me. My eyes point towards the mouth of the cave as I keep watch. It proves to be difficult to stay awake. I'm already running on limited sleep. The rain hitting the ground doesn't help. It provides a soothing sound that slowly carries me off to sleep.

Before I reach that deep sleep, I hear something metal clunk to the ground outside. I grab my bow and quiver and ready an arrow. I look outside but no one is there. What I do see is a metal container lying in the mud in front of me. I quickly retrieve it and run back inside. My hands shake as I unfasten the lock. I silently hope that it's the medicine. Inside the container, I find a syringe filled with liquid. My eyes fill with tears and whisper a thank you into the air. I make my way over to Peeta and carefully unwrap his bandage. I don't even bother to wake him. I just insert the needle into the worst part on his wound and press down on the plunger. I am lucky he doesn't wake up in pain as I do this. Hopefully it's not a bad thing that he doesn't. I place the empty syringe on the other side of us before curling up next to him, hoping that he will be better by morning.

* * *

I wake up the next morning to the sensation of Peeta's lips on my forehead. I keep my eyes closed as he lets out a content sigh. I open my eyes a smile up at him to find him with a grin already on his face.

"You're better?" I ask with hope.

"Yes, I'm better. I see we got a little present last night." he says. I nod. I then sit up and remove the sleeping bag. His leg is completely healed. It's amazing what the Capitol medicine can do. He then asks where my clothes are and I explain to him what happened after he nodded off.

We pack up our things and go to the river to wash up. It has been days since either of us has bathed. We wash our clothes first and lay them on the hot rocks that have already soaked up the mid-day sun. We then focus on our bodies, using some rags to wash the dirt and sweat from our skin. I watch as Peeta walks toward me against the current. When he reaches me, he lowers his mouth to my ear.

"I think we owe the viewers something…after all they did save my life." he whispers quietly.

"What did you have in mind?" I ask. He leans in closer to me, running his lips against mine as we stand near the middle of the river with the water rushing past us. I use his body to steady my own as I feel the kisses deepen. I wonder where he learned to kiss like this. He is definitely quite skilled when it comes to kissing. I then start to think of the girl he's most likely practiced these moves on and how angry she must be that I am the one kissing him right now. I then think of Merrick who is surely watching this and if he thinks this is real. He has to know what I feel for him. I wait for Peeta to end the kiss but it seems like he has no intention of stopping. I have to kick his foot under the water to get his attention. His lips leave mine and he pulls me into his embrace.

"That should hold them over for a while." he murmurs close to my ear. There he goes again, thinking of strategies to sell our love for one another to the citizens of Panem. He's so smart. I ought to think of things to do as well.

We bask in the sun on a large boulder as we wait for our undergarments to dry before putting on our clothes. We share stories about our youth and our families as we lie there. I hear his stomach growl loudly as his body starts to function normally. I tell to get dressed and lead him to the woods. It's time that I teach him how to hunt.

* * *

**Ok I have to be honest. I don't think is my best chapter. I didn't really know what to do with the Games (how much to include etc.) Let me know what you thought about it. Also do you think Peeta really likes Katniss or do you think it's part of the strategy (I'd be interested to know what your think).**

**BTW Merrick will be back next chapter (there will be some time jumps but I'm sure you won't mind, right?)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Happy New Year! Sorry I haven't updated. I've been sick with the flu (not fun). Anyway, here another chapter. No Merrick in this chapter (I know I said he'd be in it but I'm starting the Victory Tour next chapter). Anyways, enjoy!**

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Chapter 15

I did it. I won the 74th Annual Hunger Games. There is only one problem. Peeta Mellark won as well. It's not a problem on my end; it's a problem on the Capitol's end. There was never supposed to be two Victors during a single Hunger Game. They even made sure of it when they revoked the rule change when it was only the two of us left. As soon as I pulled out the nightlock I had hidden away, I ensure both of our survival, because two Victors are better than none.

During our final Interview, I claimed that I did it because of my enduring love for Peeta, something Haymitch told me to say on the roof. He really drove home the importance that it didn't do it to rebel. I seemed to have tricked everyone. That is, everyone but President Snow. Before I left the Capitol, I had a private meeting with him. He told me he wasn't fully convinced of my love for Peeta and that he wasn't quite sure if everyone in the outlying Districts believed my love story. If they didn't, I knew I'd be in trouble.

I'm not sure why he only spoke to me, why Peeta wasn't there with me. Maybe he believed Peeta, and thought that he really loved me. It isn't fair. It's not my fault is a better actor than I am. When were got back to District 12, I told Peeta what the President had said to me. I then asked him if he really had feelings for me. I had to make sure. He assured me that he didn't, which I was thankful for. I then started to worry about pulling off this relationship. I didn't know if I could do it now that we weren't facing other tributes or the Gamemakers. He comforted me and told me that we'd work on it. I couldn't have asked for a better district partner.

* * *

I hear a voice in the distance calling me name, getting closer and closer. I suddenly snap out of it and realize I am in my room with Gale holding onto me for dear life. I've never seen the fear I see in his eyes now.

"Katniss. You were having a bad dream."

"Gale, what are you doing here?" I ask still disoriented. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Relax, Katniss, it's Sunday." he says.

"You should be with your family." I reply. I know he doesn't get to see them a lot now that he works in the mines six days a week.

"I am. I mean you are practically part of my family." he says.

"Gale why are you here?" I ask. Our houses aren't exactly close by.

"You're mother told me about your nightmares, how you scream and thrash around. She didn't know how to help you." he said softly.

"And she thinks you can?" I ask. I don't think anyone can keep the nightmares away. They come to me whenever I close my eyes, regardless of the time of day. I can't forget about what happened in the Arena.

"I can at least try to get you out of them. She said you almost took her out you were failing around so much."

"I'm sorry." I say apologetically. The last thing I need is people to worry about me.

"What was the dream about, the one you just had?" he asks.

"Snow found out about Peeta and mine's relationship…that it wasn't real. He tried to hurt Prim." He's the only person besides Peeta and Haymitch that knows about the relationship being a fraud. We talked about it shortly after I returned.

"It's stupid. They never should have made you go along with that plan." Gale says with venom in his voice. "Didn't they even think about what could have happened?"

"Gale…"

"No really, Katniss. How long are you supposed to even keep up this façade?"

"It's only until the end of the Victory Tour. We plan on breaking up after that." I tell Gale. This seems to relax him. He lies down on my bed and I lay beside him. He then wraps me in his arms, bringing me closer to him. It's weird. I've never had Gale show me this type of affection before. I guess that what happens when you almost lose your best friend. You don't waste any more moments where you let them know that you care.

"Every Sunday, I wait for you at our place hoping that you will show up." he says as his lips mutter the words against my forehead. "I think it might be good for you, to go out there, to clear your head. Just like we used to do."

"Gale, I'm sorry that I checked out for a while. It's just so hard to even get out of bed some days." I murmur softly.

"I think I can help you. I want to help you get back to the way things were." he says brushing my hair. I close my eyes and savor his touch. It's been so long since anyone has really touched me. It's my own fault. I've kept everyone away. As I lay there, I think about what he said. I don't think things can ever truly go back to the way they were but I don't tell him that. Instead, I just lie there and hope to regain some sort of normalcy.

* * *

The next few months go by quickly. I go hunting with Gale every Sunday, something I am thankful he pushed me to do. It really does make me forget about my problems and I start to feel like myself a little more. I still can't be entirely free though. There is still the fact that I'm supposed to be madly in love with Peeta. I've started hanging out with him again, holding hands while we walk through town or stealing kisses from each other at restaurants. It's not something we do because either of us wants it. We do it in case the Peacekeeper are watching us and reporting back to the Capitol (it really wouldn't surprise me if they were). We go over to each other's houses and spend the night sometimes, to keep up the act.

That's where I'm heading now, to his house right next door to mine, carrying a pot of stew my mother helped me make. I let myself in and find him in the kitchen, removing a tray of bread from the oven. We greet each other and eat our meal, talking about the Victory Tour, which is only a week away. We talk about what we think it will be like and what is expected of us.

After cleaning up the kitchen, we head upstairs to his room and climb into bed. It's a little weird to share a bed with someone that you just consider a friend, but we've decided it might help us to act more like a couple. It will help us to become more comfortable with each other's touch and the feeling of our bodies against one another's. We embrace each other as we lay there on our sides, beneath the covers. I hear a low choking sound from the back of his throat.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" I ask pulling myself further up the bed so that our eyes are level.

"My mother." he whispers. Whatever it is that happened, I know it can't be good. I've seen the way she treats him. It's enough to make me sick. How could a mother ever treat her own child like that?

"What happened?" I ask, sweeping my thumb across his cheek, which is dampened with his tears.

"I messed up today…I dropped a cake I had just finished. I lost my footing and I fell to the ground."

"Did she hurt you?" I ask with concern. It wouldn't be the first time she had beaten him. I've seen him come to school with black eyes and bruises before.

"She threw me out Katniss. She told me to never come back." he says as more tears escape his eyes.

"It'll be fine. You'll be fine. You don't need her." I say trying to soothe him. It's not true though. Every person needs his or her mother, no matter how horrible of a person she may be. It's human nature to want your mother. "Peeta I'm sure she didn't mean it. She was just upset." I end up telling him, hoping this will make him feel better. He pulls me closer to him, hugging me tightly. He grip relaxes after about a minute and I rest my head on his chest.

"Peeta, what do you want…after all of this is over?" I ask him. I'm not sure where this question came from even though I brought it up.

"I want things to be normal. I don't want people pointing me out on the streets as the boy who won The Hunger Games. I want to find a girl to love and one that loves me." He then pauses for a while before letting out a sigh. "Katniss, do you think I'll find someone?"

"Yes. Lots of girls liked you in school Peeta. I heard them talk about you during lunch and in the bathroom."

"Even now…with my leg?" he asks, his voice a little shaky.

"You will find someone Peeta." I tell him as I hover above him, looking into his eyes. "You're too good a person to not find someone."

"What about you, Katniss? What do you want?" he asks me. I plop down besides him, quite dramatically, as I exhale loudly. I should have known he'd return the question.

"It doesn't matter what I want. It'll never happen." I say in defeat.

"You don't know that."

"It can't, not unless things change. Not unless Panem changes." I tell him. I see him raise his brow with intrigue. I figure that now is as good a time as any to tell him about Merrick. "There is a boy. I boy I want to be with but he lives far away in District 2."

"How did you meet him if he lives all the way out there?" Peeta asks with confusion.

"His father is a Peacekeeper. He comes to District 12 sometimes to train the Peacekeepers. The boy, Merrick, he would come here too and live in Peacekeeper's Village. He helped me one day when I was 11 and we've been friends ever since. Last summer, he kissed me and we told each other how we really felt. He came back here, for the Reaping. He talked to me in the Justice Building. He told me he'd be waiting for me when I come to District 2 on the Victory Tour." I say, spilling out everything to Peeta.

"That's good." Peeta says encouragingly.

"I'm worried…about what he saw in the Games. What if he thinks that we're together?"

"Maybe he will have seen through it. Gale did after all." In this moment, I choose to hold on to the hope that Merrick knows me well enough to know where my heart really lies. He's always had my heart.

"Let's get some sleep." Peeta suggests. I curl up next to him and close my eyes, falling gently into a deep sleep.

* * *

It is the last Sunday I to hunt with Gale before leaving for the Victory Tour. I don't waste any time getting ready and make my way to our meeting spot. He is already there waiting for me which is odd. I'm always the first one there. I meet him and unpack the meal I brought for us. I'm thankful that he doesn't give me any snide remarks. Instead, he just smiles and takes a bite of a roll. Once breakfast is over, Gale stands and starts towards the forest. He must want to cover a lot of ground since I won't be there for the next two Sundays. Since I know he won't take my money, I know this is the only way I can help him out. I need today to be successful. Gale checks the snare line while I search for any sign on life. I manage to see a rabbit scurrying around. It's a hard target since its fur matches the freshly fallen snow. I still manage to shoot it, right in the eye. I collect my prize and attach it to my belt before I continue. An hour later, my eye catches sight of a deer walking along a small valley of the forest floor. I hear Gale quietly approaching. I only hope he won't do anything to scare it away. He's done it before. Instead he lowers his mouth to my ear.

"Do you think you can get it?" he asks. I turn towards him.

"I don't know."

"We'll do it together. Ready your bow." he tells me. We both prepare ourselves. Gale quietly counts to three and we release our bows. Both manage to pierce the deer's skin but it doesn't give up without a fight. It runs opposite of us and we both book off in a sprint, pausing only to get another shot. It eventually collapses and we catch it. We remove the arrows and then Gale uses his knife to butcher the animal. It's a shame we can't take the whole deer but it would be way too heavy to carry. I hate wasting anything but it's just the way it has to be.

We then make our way back to the fence. We hide our hunting gear and I hand over everything I shot to Gale since my family no longer needs to worry about food. I begin to walk back towards the fence.

"Catnip, wait up." I hear Gale call. I forgot his bag weights a lot more than mine, causing him to move a little slower. I stop and wait for him at the edge of the woods, leaning against a nearby tree. He emerges and drops his bag on the ground. He has a look of intent on his face, although I'm not sure what he plans of saying or doing next. He advances towards me and in one fluid movement, he takes my face in his hands and kisses my lips. I'm not sure what I should do. I put my palms on his chest, thinking about pushing him away but I know that would only hurt him. My only resolve is to stand there and let him kiss me. He ends it after a matter of seconds and gazes down at me.

"I had to do that…at least once." he says as he caresses my cheek. He doesn't wait for me to reply or react. Instead, he retrieves his bag and walks toward the fence without me. I sink down to the base of the tree and think about the kiss. Things started to make a lot more sense now. It explains his jealousy towards Merrick, why he ripped him off of me when he saw us kissing in the meadow. No wonder he was upset when I hugged him that day in the forest and confessed that I missed Merrick. He must have thought that hug was for him. It's also the reason he never wanted me to talk about Merrick in front of him. It's because he has feeling for me. My best friend is in love with me. Well, maybe not love, that's a pretty powerful word, but he definitely feels _something_. I then wonder about how long he's felt that way.

I feel the cold air against my skin and know I can't stay here forever. It doesn't help that winter brings an early sunset. I crawl beneath the fence and make my way home, thinking more about the kiss and Gale. I think of what this will mean for us, if it will change anything. I really hope it doesn't. I don't want to lose him.

* * *

It is the day before the Victory Tour begins. I decide to go into the woods one more time before I leave. Gale isn't with me this time. He is working in the mines. I slip under the fence and quickly check the snare line, finding three rabbits. I then reset the snares, hoping I can make them as well as Gale can. He's always been a natural when it comes to snares. Unfortunately, this is all I have time for. My prep team will arrive this evening and the torture will really begin. I am really dreading the waxing. That's the worst part.

I head back to District 12 to the Hawthorne house where I drop off the rabbits. I say goodbye to Mrs. Hawthorne and Gale's three siblings before leaving. I also tell his mother to tell him I said goodbye and that I'll see him when I get back. I wish I couldn't have talked to him before I left so we could talk about the kiss. We still haven't done that yet. He's been too busy with work.

When I enter my house, I find my mother breathe a sigh of relief. I take off my boots and start towards my room, looking for a little solitude before I have no time to myself. I feel my mother wrap her hand around my arm to stop me.

"Did you have a nice walk?" she asks. I give her a look, now confused. She knew I was going hunting. I told her just in case, with the weather reports calling for a severe snowstorm. Out of the corner of my eye I can see a man in a suit. He's not from around here. It's then I know something is wrong.

"Yes, it was good to see the District one last time before I leave. It's getting slippery out there. I fell twice."

"Someone is here to see you." she then tells me.

"They're here already?" I say rolling my eyes.

"No Katniss, it's not—" She is cut off by the man in the suit that approaches. He tells me to follow him to the study. When I get to the door, I open it and he nudges me forward. As soon as I enter, the scent of roses and blood pierce my nose. I no longer have to wonder about who my mystery guest is. He turns around in the chair and faces me. Now I can only wonder why President Snow is sitting in my study, in my house, all the way in District 12.

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**What did you think about this chapter? What did you like/not like? **

**Get ready for next chapter, it's going to be good. It's going to center mostly around the tour in District 2...and you know who lives in District 2 ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

**I know there was a long time between my last update and now. To make up for it, here is an extra long chapter (almost 9,000 words!) Enjoy. **

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its characters.

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Chapter 16

I still cannot believe he was in my District, in my own home. The President rarely leaves the Capitol. I guess he couldn't wait two weeks to tell me. It might have been too late. He stressed how important it is that I convince the people of Panem of my love for Peeta. He even went as far to tell me to aim higher, to convince _him_ of my love for Peeta. That wasn't all though. He also threatened to hurt Gale. At first I didn't know where that came from until he mentioned the kiss we shared by the edge of the woods. The only way he could have found out about that is if there were cameras recording it. I never thought there would be cameras in our woods, our haven from the evilness of the Capitol. I'm less safe there than I thought. I told him I would comply so long as he wouldn't hurt Gale. Even though I told him he is just a friend, I think Snow thinks more of us. I haven't told Gale about this yet. I haven't seen him since that kiss. I will have to wait until I am back home.

The Victory Tour hasn't been easy. It started off with a rocky start in District 11. Shortly after our speeches, an uprising started, which ended with gunshots. We were quickly escorted from the Justice Building onto the train for District 10. Since then, appearances have been brief. We have been given speeches pre-written for us and we are not to go off script.

It's been a stressful time, but I can't help but get excited as we near District 2. I cannot wait to see Merrick. I only hope that he feels the same, that he knows I still love him. Effie filled us in on what our day in District 2 will be like. We will take a tour around the main part of the District and even get a chance to ski some of the slopes of the mountain. We will give a short speech and then prepare for the ball that is held every year in District 2. Since District 2 brings home a Victor more years than not, they create a huge celebration. Citizens of District 2 buy tickets years in advanced to attend this affair. I have a feeling they will be disappointed to see Victors that are not from their home District. They will probably be even more bitter that we beat Cato and Clove. They both had a good chance of being crowned.

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The day goes by quickly. I am taken by the beauty of District 2. There are snow-capped mountains, placid lakes, and little villages dot the landscape. It looks just like the pictures that Merrick showed me all those years ago. It's stupid, but I spend most of the day scanning the faces of the people that live there, searching for Merrick. He's nowhere to be found. By the evening, I start to think he won't show. I think Cinna can tell something is wrong as he's styling me because he says little things to try to cheer me up. He puts me in a long black velvet dress with satin gloves that reach my elbow. I look in the mirror, trying to find the right word to describe how I look. Elegant. I look elegant. My hair is loose, cascading in waves down my back. I'm dripping in jewels. I'm not sure if they are real or not and I think I'd prefer that. I might be even more nervous if the earrings I am wearing are actual diamonds.

We are taken to the entrance of the hall where we are formally introduced to the crowd, standing by their chairs. I am unsure if the applause is fake or genuine. We are taken to the head table where we dine with the mayor's family. Peeta does most of the talking. He is better at that stuff. We commence the dancing after dinner by dancing slowly in the center of the dance floor with all eyes watching us. It's a lot of pressure remembering the steps that Effie taught us. We do all right and then other couples join in. When the dance is over, we go to the bar to get some water. While we are there, we are met by some people that are interested in talking with us. Judging by their smiles and the words they exchange with us, it appears as if we actually have some fans in District 2.

When they are finished talking they move along and allow the people behind them to speak with us. I'm lost in a whirlwind of people congratulating us and commenting on our Games. I try to look ahead to see how many people are left to talk to. That's when my eyes connect with his. Merrick is standing 5 feet away from me, directly in front of me. I can feel my smile widen at the sight of him. I must look like some stupid, giddy girl but it's ok. He looks just as excited to see me. His eyes have lightened up and he cannot wipe the smile from his face. I wait for him, quite impatiently, adding little remarks into the conversation and make an effort to remain polite. I try to concentrate on the people in front of me but my eyes drift back to him. It's been 8 months since I've seen him. He looks so handsome in his tuxedo, something I have never seen him wear before.

He approaches us, taking my hand in his and bringing to his mouth for a kiss. He then shakes Peeta's hand as he introduces himself by his first name. Peeta shoots me a knowing look, instantly recognizing his name. I give him a discrete nod. Merrick congratulates us and says he has a small present for us. He checks his jacket pockets and then says he must have left it in his coat pocket in the coatroom. I can't help but think this is a signal as to where he wants me to meet him. He then excuses himself. I turn to Peeta and bring myself closer to him.

"It's ok…if I go to him?" I whisper.

"Yes, it's fine. I can handle the crowd while you are gone." he whispers back. He gives me a short kiss on the lips. He's good at sneaking in little moments of affection like that. It must be why Snow believes him.

"I'll try not to be too long."

"Take as much time as you need." he says. I give him a gracious smile before walking toward the doors Merrick exited through. I remember the coatroom was near the entrance of the hall. I make my way through the hallways, walking as quietly as I can in my heels. I really don't feel like getting caught. I find the coatroom, which is empty and dimly lit. I walk up and down the rows searching for him. When I approach the last row, I start to doubt myself. Maybe I was supposed to wait in the ballroom for him. Maybe he was _just_ retrieving a gift for us.

"Merrick?" I whisper into the air. I feel a hand take mine, turning me to face the opposite direction. I only get a brief glimpse of him, but I can tell its Merrick. He presses his body against mine, his lips connecting with my lips, showering me with desperate kisses. It had been far too long since we had done this. I know we don't have much time so we need to make every second count. He abruptly stops his kisses, taking a few breaths. I look into his eyes and I know his question before he can even say it. He wants to know about Peeta and me.

"It wasn't real. It was just a strategy to get sponsors." I murmur. I see him breath a sigh of relief.

"I wasn't sure what to believe." he admitted.

"I didn't want to. I was worried about what you would think."

"It was hard, watching you kiss him like that. It made me think that I didn't matter anymore."

"Merrick, you'll always matter." I say before giving him a gentle kiss. I kiss him again, sucking lightly on his lower lip. I hear a moan escape him before he kisses me deeply. His mouth doesn't stay near mine for long. He plants a trail of kisses, starting at my neck and moving south, down the plunging neckline of my dress. He continues until he has no more skin to kiss. I hold his head against my chest as I try to steady my breathing. I forgot how he could make me feel, just with the feeling of his lips against my skin. He slinks down to the ground, pulling me with him so that I'm sitting in his lap. I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder as his fingers sweep through my hair.

"Those two weeks you were in the Games were the worst two weeks of my life." he says in a low tone. "I can only imagine how bad it was for you."

"The thought of you, seeing you again, made me keep on going. I didn't want to die without seeing you again." I admit. I'm not one to willingly admit my feelings. Maybe it's the fact that I almost didn't make it out of the Hunger Games alive. It could also be that this might be the last time we will ever see each other again. The thought saddens me. I can feel a few tears roll down my cheek. It isn't long before his hand is brushing my cheek, wiping the streams from my face.

"What's wrong?" he murmurs in my ear.

"I hate this, being apart from you. Not knowing when our next meeting will be, if at all. I hate that we have to hide in a closet just to be with each other."

"We have to make do with what we have. It's always been like that Katniss. We always manage to make it work."

"Through lots of compromises." I say with defeat.

"What compromises are we making tonight?" he asks me.

"It would be nice to dance with you, just once."

"We can dance in here. If you listen closely, you can hear the music."

"But we are in a dark coat closet, with hardly any room to move." I pout. He moves me off his lap and then stands up.

"Miss Everdeen, may I have this dance?" he asks as he extends his hand towards me. I'm about to complain some more until I see him leaning towards me with that charming smile he wears so nicely. I take his hand and he helps me up. He wraps his arms around my waist and I place my hands on his shoulders. We sway slowly to the distant music.

"This isn't so bad, right?" he asks.

"No, it isn't." I let my thoughts wander as we dance in the dark. I think back to the last time I saw him, in the Justice Building in District 12. I remember how desperate I was to make every moment count. Suddenly dancing doesn't seem like a good way to be spending our final moments. I move my hand down his body until my fingers skim his cummerbund. I move the fabric upwards until I locate the button to his pants.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" he asks in a playful tone.

"You said I could do whatever I liked."

"We have time for that…later." he tells me, confusing me even more.

"Merrick, I don't have time. I need to get back into that ballroom before too many people notice I'm gone."

"Later tonight. When I sneak into your room." he tells me as he nuzzles his face close to mine. I feel my heart skip a beat.

"And how do you suppose you'll manage that?" I ask him with curiosity.

"I know this building like the back of my hand."

"Do you know where I'm staying?"

"5th floor, Suite 1." he says with a smirk.

"How did you know?" I ask in amazement.

"I have my ways." he says. "You should get back to your party. Wouldn't want someone figuring out the guest of honor is missing." he says before giving my forehead a kiss.

"Not yet." I beg.

"We have all night." he reminds me. I guess he is right. The next hour in that ballroom will make the rest of the night worth it. His lips meet mine for one more kiss and then his is gone. I make my way back to the ballroom, where everyone is too drunk to notice that I wasn't there. I walk around the room until I find Peeta sitting alone at the table we dined at.

"Having fun?" I joke as I sit in the chair next to him.

"What do you think?" he asks with an arched brow.

"What happened while I was gone?"

"Had to dance with some pretty dreadful women."

"In what way?" I ask, prying for more information.

"One lady laughed at everything I said. A few let their hands _wander_." I am surprised by his last comment. I'd expect that behavior from the Capitol women but not in District 2.

"They must really like you." I tease.

"How did things go for you?" he asks me.

"Good." I say with a smile.

"Good. You think Effie would let us leave early?" he wonders out loud.

"Of course not. It's Effie after all."

"I guess we'll just have to bear through it." he says with a sigh. I stand up and take his hand.

"Come on."

"What?"

"We might as well try to enjoy ourselves." I say as I lead him to the dance floor. The music has slowed down and the couples are holding each other close. We close the distance between ourselves as we move to the music. Halfway through the song, I move my hand down Peeta's back until my hand is resting on his butt. I give it a firm squeeze and give him a devilish grin.

"I can do that. After all you are my boyfriend." I say sincerely although he knows I'm joking. I then feel his lips come crashing down on mine, kissing me with fervor. It's about a minute before he breaks away.

"And I can do that…since you are my girlfriend." he jokes back. The smile quickly leaves his face, replaced by a look of discomfort.

"What's wrong?"

"My leg." he says with pain in his voice.

"Come on, I'll take you to your room." I say. He wraps his arm around my shoulders as we make our way to the exit. He winces every now and then as we make our way to the elevator. Once inside, I press the button marked 10. I help him off the elevator and to his room where I lead him to his bed. He leans against the pillows and lets out a sigh.

"Does it always hurt?" I ask.

"When I've been on my feet a lot." he says. I pull up his pant leg exposing his prosthetic. I place my hands where it meets his thigh. "Katniss, no." he says with a shaky voice.

"You need a break. You do take it off?" I question him. He shakes his head. "Why not?" I ask sitting next to him.

"I don't like the way it looks…without it." he admits after hesitating.

"Peeta, you need to give your leg a break." I say, hoping he will listen. I watch as he removes his prosthetic, placing it next to him on the bed. I've never seen him look so vulnerable as he does now. I scoot further up the bed and sit beside him, taking his hand for support.

"After they lifted us out of the Arena, when we were in the hovercraft, I thought you died. I was so scared." I tell him. It's the first time I've talked about this with him. We try to avoid any talk of the Games.

"Maybe it would have been better."

"No it wouldn't have. Why would you say something like that?" I say, with anger showing through.

"Put me out of my misery. Plus, you wouldn't have to pretend. You could be with whomever you wanted."

"I'm glad you're still here. And it's not for much longer. In a week, we will be able to be with whomever we choose to be with."

"Katniss, you'll still visit me, won't you?" he asks with pleading eyes.

"Of course I will." I say giving him a hug, which he returns.

"I don't really have that many people in my life that I can count on."

"Don't worry, I'll be there." I reassure him. "I have to go…I'm meeting Merrick. You'll be ok, right?"

"Yes, I'll be fine."

"If you need me, for anything, call me on my room phone." I say to him.

"Don't worry about me. You should enjoy tonight." he says forcing a smile. "I'm going to try to catch up on some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." he says, pulling me closer into his embrace. I tuck him into bed and say goodbye before leaving him.

Once I am inside my room, I notice something that wasn't there before. Set up in the corner of the room is a blanket fort made out of sheets and metal bars. I instantly know who made it. I then wonder how he managed to get into my room to assemble it. I look inside, disappointed to find it empty. I'll just have to wait a little longer for him.

I change out of my dress into pajamas. I slip on the set that my mother gave to me on the first night I slept over at Merrick's house. Back then I had been too uncomfortable to wear them. I'm still not fully at ease with wearing them but I remember Merrick saying I looked good in them. I thought that maybe he'd like to see me in them again. I wait for him to arrive but it seems he is taking longer than I anticipated. I grab a silk robe from the closet, a gift from District 8, and wrap it around me, tying it at my waist. I feel a little better with less skin exposed. I return to the blanket fort and lay inside on the cushions that line the floor. As I stare up at the dark material, I pretend that I am back in District 12, in Merrick's room waiting for him to return.

Suddenly I hear a knock on the door, followed by a voice call out "Room Service". I am a little baffled by this. I didn't request anything upon my arrival to my room. I crawl out of the fort and make my way to the door, thankful I have my robe to cover me. I swing open the door to find Merrick standing there with a food cart in tow. I move to the side and let him in. As soon as I shut the door, his arms wrap around me and he gives me a kiss.

"Did you like my surprise?" he asks.

"I love it." I reply.

"I thought you would." he says with a grin. "Go inside. I'll be there in a minute." I do as he says, climbing back inside the fort. He returns with full hands. In one is a champagne bottle with two glasses and in the other is a silver platter full of food.

"Champagne?" I say with a raised brow. "Aren't we too young for this?"

"We're celebrating." he says, popping the cork. He fills each glass and hands one to me. Merrick clinks my glass with his and says, "To finding each other" before taking a gulp. I put the rim of the glass to my lips, tilting it backwards. I can feel the bubbles tickle my throat as it makes it's way down. I like the way it feels. I finish my glass and place it on the ground. I reach for a strawberry from the tray and twirl it around by the stem. A distant memory resurfaces, of us sitting in a blanket fort in his room, feeding each other strawberries. I hold the berry near his face. He doesn't hesitate taking the red fruit in his mouth. I discard the remnants and pick up another one. I bring it closer to my lips but Merrick manages to swipe it before it reaches my lips.

"Fine, I wasn't hungry anyway." I tease as I lie down on the pillows. I close my eyes, choosing to relax while he gorges himself. I am surprised when I feel him use the tip of the strawberry to trace my lips, stirring something within me. My eyes slowly open to find him gazing at me. I open my mouth and sink my teeth into it, chewing slowly as the juice dribbles down my chin. His mouth glides up my chin, removing the sweet liquid. I then feel his tongue sweep across my lower lip followed by his lips on mine. He kisses me deeply, slowly drawing out each kiss. I feel the reverberations of his moan against my mouth causing me to smile. I like that I can make him feel this way.

He shifts his body around the platter, moving closer to me. As he does so, he must have hit one the support beams on the fort because a sea of bedding comes crashing down on us. Our lips part and we both giggle.

"Come on, let's get out of here." he says as he lifts up the sheets long enough for the both of us to get out. I take his hand and lead him to the bed. I leave him for a minute while I dim the light to a soft glow.

When I reach the bed, I notice his jacket and shirt are gone, leaving him in his dress pants and undershirt. I smile warmly at him as I climb towards the middle of the bed. I kneel in front of him, so that we are on eye level. He looks at me, his eyes full of lust. We are finally back to where we left off all those nights ago in District 12. The night of our first real date.

His hands cup my face. I thought he would pull me closer to him but instead he takes me in, like he wants to remember me in this moment for forever. The anticipation soon becomes too much. I want his lips on mine, to feel his tender kisses. I want even more than that, to be honest. I've had a lot of time to think about this. All those nights in the Arena, I dreamed about this night, and seeing him again. Being able to do whatever I wanted with him. I then do something rather bold of me. I lean in and kiss him, taking control of the situation. His hands brace my hips and pull me closer to him so that our bodies are now touching. My hands find their way to his hair, weaving through it as the passion builds. My breath hitches as his hands firmly grip my butt. He lets out a little laugh as he removes his lips from me and presses his forehead to mine.

"Katniss." he whispers into the silence.

"Hmm?"

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he mutters with a smile.

"No." I tell him. I feel his hand take mine, inching slowly down his stomach to the front of his pants. He rubs my hand over his ever-growing erection. I feel the blush hit my cheeks. I've never touched this part of a man's body before. I move my hand up and down, stroking him a few more times over the fabric of his pants. He releases a light moan as he rests his head on headboard.

"You like that?" I ask in the most seductive voice I can muster. I'm not used to behaving this way.

"Mmm-hmm." he says through his grin. His lips lightly brush mine followed by his tongue playfully teasing my lips. I open my mouth, allowing him entry. My hands rest on his shoulder as I try to keep my balance. I can already feel myself growing lightheaded. He tugs on the tie to my robe, loosening the fabric from my body. His hands explore my gentle curves, roaming over the fabric of my pajamas. As soon as his hands trace over the lace he pulls away from me. I look to him and find him with a wild smile on his face. He scans my body silently and a smirk finds a way to his mouth.

"I remember these. I thought you didn't like these pajamas." he said with a chuckle.

"They're not so bad." I say timidly.

"I always thought you looked good in them. I used to dream about you in these pajamas. Woke up with my hand down my pants most of the time." he admits. My blush returns. "You still look good."

"Thanks." I reply. I'm not really sure what else I should say. He then slides the robe off my shoulders, exposing more of my skin. His mouth moves to my shoulder and he leaves a trail of kisses as he moves to my neck. That lightheaded sensation returns as he sucks my delicate skin. My knees weaken and I feel I can no longer remain in this kneeling position. I break away from him and lay down on the bed. He lays on his side with his hand propping up his head, looked down at me.

"Everything ok?" he asks as he strokes my hair.

"I just needed a little break." I tell him.

"We haven't even started anything yet." he says with a small laugh. I remain silent for a while before I speak.

"I'm a little nervous too. I've never done this before."

"You haven't?" he questions me.

"No. You're the only person I've ever done anything with." I say, slightly embarrassed.

"Not even with that guy?"

"Who Peeta?" I ask as I turn on my side.

"No the other one. The one who ripped me off of you the first time I kissed you."

"Oh, Gale? No he's just a friend." I tell him. I leave out my suspicion that Gale might like me as more than a friend. That information is irrelevant.

"I always thought he was a jealous ex-boyfriend."

"No. Just a friend." I say. I then think about his past and wonder if he's had sex before or anything close to it. It's not something we've ever discussed in the years we've known each other.

"What are you thinking?" he asks, noticing me thinking deeply.

"Have you ever…?" I trail off.

"Yes I have."

"With a lot of girls?" I then ask. With the combination of his looks and sweet personality, I can't help but think of all the girls that must flock to him.

"Three. Is that a lot?" he asks with an arched brow.

"No." I say. That number doesn't compare to some of the numbers that guys at my school have, Gale being one of them. I've heard gossip about him in school, about what he does with girls at the slagheap. I'm sure he's already in the double digits.

"They were all before you. Before I realized how I felt about you." he tells me. This makes me feel a little better. "Katniss, if you're not ready—"

"No, I am." I say cutting him off. "I just have no idea what I'm doing."

"Well I do. Just relax." he tells him as he kisses my lips. I look up at him, his face inches from mine. I lift my head off the pillow so that our lips unite once again. His lips stay on mine as I gently lower my head onto the pillow. The fire between us reignites as our kisses become more intense.

He slips his hand under the fabric of my top and glides slowly up my body until his hand is resting on my breast. His thumb circles around my nipple, producing a hardened mound. His hand moves south, far sooner than I thought it would. I then feel him use both of his hands to move my shirt further up my body. I lift my body enough for him to slide my top off of me. I lay back and see him staring down at me with a sultry stare. I can't help but feel a little self-conscious. I've never been this exposed before. He leans closer to me with his lips close to my ear.

"You're so beautiful." he whispers to me. I can't help but smile when he says this. It's not the first time he's called me that but it still feels good to hear it. His mouth moves down to my neck, his warm breath teasing my skin as his lips make contact. He starts a trail of kisses down my body, from my neck, to my chest, between my breasts, down to my ribcage. There is a brief absence of his lips on my skin. My body jumps as he flicks his tongue over my nipple, his touch once again producing a small peak. I feel an electric sensation between my legs and let out a light moan. He increases my pleasure as he gently presses my now hardened nipple between his teeth. I let out a loud gasp and I can feel his lips draw up into a smile. His mouth moves over to my other breast, exploring different ways he can produce another moan from my lips, which isn't difficult to do.

His face reappears into my view and he nuzzles his face next to mine.

"Ready for more?" he mutters deeply.

"Yes." I say with ragged breath.

"You sure?" he teases me as he play with the waistband of my shorts.

"Merrick." I huff impatiently. A smile spreads his face and I can feel his hand slide under the fabric of my underwear. His brows rise as he touches my smooth skin.

"My prep team…" I trail off.

"They really are thorough, are they?" he says lightly. Leave it to Merrick to lighten the mood of any situation. His hand travels further south, tracing his finger around my delicate folds. He does this a few times before he continues to explore me, slipping a few fingers between my legs. It's not until I feel his fingers against me that I realize how wet I already am. I moan as he finds the spot that makes me feel as if I'm losing all control. I can't take it anymore. I want him…no, I need him.

"Merrick, I need you." I pant through shallow breaths.

"Not yet." he says as strokes me with one finger. I'm not in the mood for his teasing, not when my urge for him is so strong. I figure that two can play at the game. I remove his hand from me and roll him onto his back as I straddle him. I thrust slowly into his erection, causing his breathing to accelerate.

"Katniss." he moans into the air. I don't stop. "Katniss, what are you trying to do, torture me?" I snicker and back off of him. Now he knows how I feel. He sits up to meet me.

"When I say I need you, I need you, ok?" I murmur as I play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"I understand." he replies with a seductive grin appearing on his face. He leans towards me, kissing me hungrily as our hands explore each other's body. I tug at his shirt, wanting to see more of him. Our lips part for long enough to raise his shirt over his head. I run my hands over the taut muscles of his abdomen, worked into perfection from all those hours spent training at his school. When I'm ready to move on, my hands travel to the button of his pants. I find it difficult to unfasten it while he's kissing me so fervently. I break away from him, looking down, hoping it will help. I take a deep breath to steady myself, allowing my fingers to nimbly unbutton the pants. I then work on his zipper, releasing his erection from the confines of his pants. I move off him and he doesn't need to be told what to do next.

While he is removing the rest of his clothing, I do the same. I look over at him to find him examining me with his eyes. My cheeks redden. I've never been naked in front of man before. The look in his eyes lets me know that he likes what he sees. It's now my turn to take him in. I eyes slowly travel down his body until I reach his penis. My eyes widen when I think about how on earth his impressive length will fit inside of me. I quickly try to hide my surprise and lay down. He doesn't hesitate to hover over me. My body tenses as he brushes up against me, but then I feel my want for him return. I cradle his face with my hands as we gaze at each other longingly. This is it. We are finally going to do it. I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather be with for my first time. He lowers his body so it is flush with mine. I can feel the warmth of his skin as we make contact. I watch him look over to his pants, which he threw on the ground.

"I'll be right back." he says. I wrap my arms around him before he can get too far.

"Where are you going?" I ask quizzically.

"We have to use protection…I know you don't want children." he says.

"It's taken care of. My escort gave me something for it." I tell him. I don't go into embarrassing detail about how Effie Trinket, my escort, approached me after the Games for a girl talk about my "relationship" with Peeta, which she believed to be true. She told me that he would expect certain things from me and that I would need to protect myself from the possibility of getting pregnant. She then slid me a small pouch filled will cases of pills and instructed me on how to use them.

"Oh, ok." he says moving closer to me. I spread my legs to allow him to enter me. He uses his hand to guide himself inside me. I whimper as his length fills me.

"Are you ok?" he asks with concern.

"It hurts." I say as I exhale.

"It always does…the first time. We'll go slow, ok?" he says. I nod my head with worry raging inside me. If it hurts this much now, how much is it going to hurt when he starts thrusting? Before he starts, he repositions my legs to make me more comfortable. It helps a little. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I try to focus on something other than the pain. First, it is the touch of Merrick's hand stroking my side. Next, it's the gentle kisses Merrick is scattering up and down my neck. He then tilts his pelvis into mine as he begins his gentle thrusting. I find myself needing another distraction from the pain. I concentrate on his breathing and his warm breath on my skin. As the minutes pass, I feel his pace start to quicken. The pain slowly subsides as my desire for him takes over. My fingertips trail down the side of his body until they are resting on his butt. I grip his rear as I thrust into him, causing him to moan and call out my name. What happens next seems like a blur to me. The combination of his lips and hands on my body and him rhythmically pulsing into me becoming a sensory overload. I know I'm close to the edge. I moan and pant and call out his name repeatedly until I feel myself contract around him as my orgasm comes. It's not like anything I've ever experienced before. I never thought I could feel this good in my life. Merrick continues his thrusting until he climax, spilling himself inside of me. He presses his forehead to mine as he tries to bring his breathing down to normal. I place my hand on the back of his neck, bringing his lips to mine for a simple kiss. I feel him lift his lower body, withdrawing himself from me. He turns on his side, bringing me with him as his gaze never leaves my eyes. I small smile reaches his lips as his fingers trace the outline of my body.

"So what did you think?" he asks, his smile still plastered on his face.

"I thought it was amazing. You're amazing." I add. I feel a wave of exhaustion crash over me. Between the busy day I had and what we just did, I feel as if I can barely keep my eyes open. I try my best to fight off sleep but a yawn escapes my body.

"Tired?" he asks, stroking my hair.

"I don't want to sleep." I say.

"You have a long day ahead of you."

"I can sleep on the train."

"District 1 isn't that far of a ride. You need your sleep Katniss." I know he's right but I also know that our time together is limited. I don't want to waste hours of our time together just to get a little sleep.

"I want to spend my time with you. We don't have a lot of time together." I say, trying to reason with him.

"What if we sleep for a few hours? I'll set the alarm clock." he suggests. Something tells me this is a battle I am not going to win. I might as well concede.

"Ok." I say. He parts from my embrace turning towards the side table where the alarm clock rests. I take this time to slide underneath the covers where he joins me. I rest my head on his chest and wrap my arm around his abdomen. He hold onto me too as I close my eyes and quickly fade into the darkness.

* * *

My ears hear the alarm emitting a loud, sharp noise, one that is impossible for me to sleep through. Merrick has no trouble staying asleep. I climb over his body and switch off the alarm. It's 3 AM. That leaves us 5 hours to spend together. I return to my previous spot on the bed and slink under the covers before gently rousing Merrick from his sleep. He gives me a sleepy smile and caresses my cheek with his hand. My heart stirs like it has many times before, sending a current through my body. I know it's only been a few hours but I find myself wanting him yet again. I slide my hand under the covers, to see if he is anywhere near ready for me. My hand easily finds his hard shaft. I wrap my hand around him and stroke him a few times, producing a loud moan from his mouth.

"Shh, someone will hear you." I whisper to him. Now that it is late and quiet in the building, there is more chance of us being heard.

"Maybe you shouldn't surprise me like that." he says in a playful tone. As a look down at him, I can help but think about how irresistible he is. I don't wait for him to make the first move. It's mine turn to be in control, to set the pace of our movement. I climb on top of him, straddling a leg on each side on him. I slide up and down his length, my wetness allowing me to glide smoothly against him. He lets out a string of moans. He breathes heavy, controlled breaths trying his best to keep quiet.

"Katniss." he groans impatiently. I move away from him, deciding I've teased him long enough. My hand takes hold of him and gently guides him between my legs. I let out a gasp as we connect completely. I fit tightly around him but at least this time the pain is not there. I place my hands on either side of him, locking my elbows as I hover over him. I bear down on him, moving my pelvis in a slow, fluid movement. Merrick takes my breasts in his hands, massaging them at a pace that matches my gyrations. I can already feel euphoria setting in even though I've only just begun with him. My nipples harden with his touch and I let out a light moan to let him know I'm enjoying his handiwork. When my arms tire, I lower myself so that my body is hovering just over his. He removes his hands from my breasts, opting to grip my hips. I let out a moan as he drives himself into me, his hips moving in synch with mine.

"Ah, don't stop, Katniss." he pleads. I don't. Instead I do the opposite, riding him even harder than before. We both gasp for air and I can tell he's just as close to climaxing as I am. I wonder which one of us will come first. It's ends up being a tie as we shout out into silence one final time. I collapse on top of him and bury my head into the side of my neck, panting loudly, as I deal with the electrical current that course through every part of my body as he came inside me.

"Wow." I mutter.

"Yeah, I know." he says, agreeing with me. I feel his hands on my hips, shifting me upward so he can withdraw from me. He slowly lowers me so that I am resting on top of him.

"Do you think anyone heard us?" I ask, realizing how loud we were.

"I think all of Panem heard us." he said kissing the top of my head. I sit up to look at him with a looks of concern. "It's fine. People will probably think you're in here having sex with your boyfriend." he says with a laugh. I can tell it bothers him, that I call Peeta my boyfriend, not him.

"We're breaking up after the Victory Tour. We thought that would be a good time…give us a few months before we have to go back to mentor the Games." I tell him.

"Does anyone else know it's not real?"

"Haymitch…and Gale. President Snow knows too." I tell him. His whole body tenses up at the mention of that name. He spins me off of him so that we are both sitting up, turned to each other.

"The President knows?"

"It's fine Merrick. I just need to get through this Tour and convince everyone we're in love. Then I will be free."

"You think he'll let go of you that easily?"

"Who?" I ask now confused. Is he talking about Snow or Peeta?

"Snow, Katniss." he says with worry.

"Yes. He can't expect us to stay together forever. Teenage relationships end all the time."

"I hope you're right." he says. I hope this is the end of this conversation. This isn't how I want to spend my final hours with him. I lie back down and pat the area of bed beside me. He obeys me and lies beside me, taking me in his arms.

"I don't want you to go." he says with sorrow in his voice. I realize that this is the first time I am leaving him. Usually, it's the other way around. I stay where I am, and he leaves me.

"I don't either." I tell him.

"If you could stay here with me, would you?"

"Merrick, you know I hate hypothetical questions."

"I know, I was just curious." he says. I take some time to think about his question. It would be a lot to ask if it was even possible. Could I ever leave everyone and everything I know to move to District 2 to be with him? It could be feasible, now that my family is financially secure. District 2 could also offer a better quality of life. And the best part would be that I would get to see him everyday, whenever I wanted without having to worry about him leaving me once again.

"Yes, I would." I finally say. "Still, it doesn't matter."

"Maybe one day we'll have that option…of choosing what District we live in."

"I wouldn't hold your breath on that one." I say rolling my eyes. Sadness sweeps over me when I think this could be our last time together. "Will you be coming back anytime soon?" I ask with hope in my voice.

"I don't know." he says with a sigh. "I heard my father talk about being transferred to a long-term position in another district. I think it might be District 8 though. I heard him talking about there being some turbulence there."

"Like an uprising?" I ask with fear in my voice.

"I have no clue."

I change the subject, deciding to reminisce with him about our days in District 12 together. We've had some incredible times together. There were some bad times as well but we skirt around those memories, choosing to be happy. I look over at the clock, which reads 7 AM. We are down to the final hour. I get out of bed, telling him I need to get ready. I walk to the shower, deciding to make this a quick one so I have more time with him. As soon as the water flows, I feel the tears form in my eyes. I cry into my hands, trying to remain quiet enough that he won't hear me. My body jerks when I feel his arms wrap around my waist. His body melts into mine as we stand in the shower.

"It will be ok." he murmurs as he kisses my jaw. I hate when he says that. I know this is another argument waiting to happen so I just let it go. It would be the same conversation we always have. I'll say it won't be ok. He'll say that he'll find a way back to me that he always has before. I'm not sure how he remains that hopeful. I turn around face him, placing my arms behind his neck to bring his face closer to mine. His lips join mine as we kiss each other hungrily as the water flows down our bodies. His hands survey every part of me, memorizing every curve. I jump when I hear a knock on the door.

"Leaving in a half hour, sweetheart." I hear Haymitch call through the door.

"Ok." I shout. I push away from Merrick so I can clean myself, and the tears return. I scrub furiously against my scalp, working the shampoo into my hair. Merrick takes my wrists and lowers my hands as he takes over. I close my eyes take in the sensation of his fingertips massaging my scalp. I lean backwards, allowing the water to wash suds from my hair. We then take turns washing each other, removing the scent of sex from our skin. I turn off the water and he returns with a towel for me, his already wrapped around his waist. I stare at him as I wrap my towel around me, noticing the way the sun reflects on the water droplets on his smooth skin. He's so gorgeous. We walk hand in hand back to my bedroom, breaking our touch to get dressed. I put on the outfit Cinna made for me while Merrick collects his piece of clothing and redresses himself in his attire from last night. I quickly pack my suitcase and we meet each other in the middle of the room. This is the hard part, saying goodbye. I stare up at him, thinking of the words to say. Thinking of final words for him. I don't know what to say to him. I want the words to be perfect but I've never been good with words. Instead I hug him and he envelopes me in his arms.

"Don't go." he murmurs into the hair on the top of my head.

"I have to." I say, trying to remain strong. "Merrick if this is it—"

"—This isn't it." he says rejecting even the thought that this might be the last time we ever see each other again.

"Merrick if it this is it, I want to let you know how happy you've made me. I never thought I could find anyone like you."

"I'll find a way back to you. I promise I will." This is something he tells me every time.

"Ok." I say.

"Katniss you'll wait for me, won't you?" he asks with pleading eyes.

"As long as it takes."

"No, not that long. A year. Give me a year." I'd give him more than a year but I don't tell him that. Instead I nod my head.

"Merrick, if you hear anything about Peeta and I…and us being together, don't believe it. Just in case we have to stay together after the Victory Tour." I say.

"Ok." He leans down and kisses my lips, the passion and desperation woven through each kiss. We don't have much time. A few minutes later, there is another knock on the door. I crack it open and find Peeta standing there.

"It's time to g. They are waiting for us." he says.

"Just one second." I say. I go inside recovering my suitcase followed by one more kiss from Merrick. As I turn towards the door, I see Peeta peeking inside.

"Goodbye Merrick." I say holding him one last time.

"Goodbye Katniss." he whispers. We reluctantly let go of each other. I grab the handle of my suitcase and roll it behind me. I leave it by my door so it will be taken down by one of the Peacekeepers and walk beside Peeta.

"You love him?" he asks quietly as we walk down the long hallway.

"Yes" I say quietly. I surprise myself with how quickly I give my answer. I'm not one to use that word. It scares me. There is no denying it though…I love Merrick. "Peeta, thanks for last night…for covering for me when I went off with him."

"I'm glad I could help." he says. We make our way down to the entrance of the Justice Building where people with cameras are waiting for us. Peeta takes my hand in his. Time to pretend again. I fake a smile before we walk outside. We quickly make our way car. I look up at the Justice Building one last time and see Merrick standing by the window of my room looking down at me. I won't let this be the last time I see him. I will be with him no matter what it takes.

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**Merrick and Katniss are back together! Don't forget to review this chapter...I'd really like to know what you thought of the story line/writing. Feel free to make any predictions or suggestions too!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Short but necessary chapter...**

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Chapter 17

The moment I am dreading is finally here. We are back in the Capitol, about to do a televised interview with Caesar Flickerman. Everyone will be watching to see the star-crossed lovers from District 12. I only hope I can convince them and not mess up my responses.

At least the audience will be more pleasant. After being in District 1 and seeing all the scowls and glares from their citizens, I will gladly take the enthusiastic smiles of the Capitol people. Two Peacekeepers lead me through a maze of halls to the side of the stage where the interview will take place. Peeta is already there waiting for me. He takes my hand and holds it firmly, trying to give me some reassurance.

"It's a short interview." he says.

"What if they don't believe me?" I whisper.

"We'll make them believe it. Just keep close to me and smile. Kiss me on the cheek once." he says giving me some pointers. We are interrupted by a Peacekeeper saying that they aren't quite ready to begin. He tells us to follow him and leads us down a hall to a door. He opens it and reveals President Snow sitting behind a desk. He tells us to come forward and take a seat. We slowly make our way to the two chairs facing him. I hear the door close, knowing that it's just the three of us here.

"How are the star-crossed lovers of District 12?" he asks with sarcasm.

"Good." Peeta says.

"Good for you too, Miss Everdeen?" Snow asks with a raised brow.

"Yes, we couldn't be happier." I say as I look to Peeta and smile.

"Oh." Snow says with a glint in his eyes. I know he doesn't believe me.

"Why are we here?" I ask, wanting to get right to the point.

"We have a problem…in some of the Districts. Not everyone believes you were going to eat the berries out of love. Some Districts have seen this as rebellion and they have started to act out themselves."

"That's not our fault." Peeta says calmly.

"But it's still a problem. We still need some _damage control_."

"What do you mean?" I asked, now confused. Is he planning on using us to fix what we started? Without a word he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. He slides it across the desk until it rests in front of Peeta. He takes it in his hands and opens it, producing a ring with a diamond in the middle.

"You are aware of what that is?" he asks. The both of us nod. It's an engagement ring. We don't have anything like that in District 12. No one could afford a diamond, but we know that other Districts use this to begin the marriage process. "You'll do it during the interview." he says with authority. He doesn't wait for a rebuttal or for us to chime in. Instead he stands up and nods his head at us before leaving the room. As soon as the door clicks shut, I am out of my seat, pacing back and forth. Peeta approaches me and places his hands on my shoulders. I look at him, my vision becoming cloudy from the tears that have started to form.

"Don't cry Katniss." he says. "Not until after the interview."

"But he wants you to propose. He wants us engaged!"

"I know."

"But we were suppose to break up after this. We were suppose to be free."

"Things don't always go the way we plan. Our lives are not our own anymore." he says.

"And you're ok with that?"

"No, but there isn't any other choice. It isn't safe to get on the President's bad side. Nothing good will come of it."

"So what do we do?"

"We keep on pretending."

"And if he wants us to go further?" I ask. He remains silent, unsure of what to say.

"We'll talk to Haymitch about this later. See what he says." he tells me. We leave the room, returning to the side of the stage.

"There you are. They've been looking for you." Haymitch says taking a swig from his flask.

"We had some last minute instructions from the President." Peeta mutters. Haymitch raises his brow with intrigue, his eyes questioning what went on. Peeta takes the box from his jacket pocket and discretely shows Haymitch the ring. I can see the shock written on his face. He then turns to me and grips my arms.

"You have to say yes." he warns me.

"I know. I'm not stupid." I say, releasing myself from his grasp.

"Just making sure. I know how pig-headed you can be." he says, followed by a guffaw.

A man then comes to collect us, telling us that the interview is about to begin. I hear Caesar's voice booming through the space, starting with an introduction. He then announces our names. I take Peeta's hand and we walk onto the stage, smiling and waving at the adoring crowd. They are so loud I almost can't hear myself think. We take our seat on the small couch next to Caesar. I do my best to keep up with the act, sitting close to Peeta who has his arm wrapped around my shoulders. He asks us about life since being crowned Victors. We talk about living in Victor's Village and how nice it is to live near each other. Peeta remarks that with our close proximity, it's hard for him to keep himself away, causing the audience to giggle and 'aww' in response. At some point in the interview I mention how lucky I am to have found him and that I've never been so happy in my life. I lean closer to him and give him a brief kiss, causing the Capitolites to gush even more. If only the other citizens were as easy as they were.

Caesar then talks to us about the Quell and we discuss our involvement as mentors. While neither of us is thrilled with coaching two children that will most likely meet their death, we confidently tell the audience that we are sure we can produce another Victor. Peeta interrupts Caesar mid-question.

"I'm sorry Caesar, but there is something I have to do and I don't think it can wait any longer."

"Go ahead." Caesar says with a nod. Peeta turns to me, taking my hands in his and gives a profound speech about how he's always liked me and how it was fate that our paths crossed the way they did. He tells me how much he loves me and how he never wants to be apart. He then goes down on one knee and there is a collective gasp coming from the audience. He pulls out the box and opens it towards me, asking me if I will marry him. My eyes tear up, out of sorrow, not happiness and I place my hands over my mouth to conceal the choking sound escaping me. I nod my head and say yes. The crowd goes wild. I pull him closer and kiss him with my eyes closed, pretending that it's Merrick instead. It's the only way I can make it look authentic. We part and he presses his forehead to mine and we both smile, pretending it's the happiest moment of our lives. Caesar brings everyone back, this is an interview after all. He asks to see the ring and comments on Peeta's good taste.

Snow makes a surprise visit to the stage to congratulate us. It takes everything I have not to roll my eyes at him. He then addresses the crowd and asks what they think about throwing us wedding in the Capitol. The crowd erupts with claps and cheers. Snow turns his back to the audience and gives me a smug look letting me know that he has won. He gives me a hug while kissing my cheek and shakes Peeta's hand before exiting the stage.

The interview concludes and we are taken to our rooms to get ready for the ball in the President's Mansion. The lavishness of the party is disgusting. There is enough food to feed an entire district and people are dressed in extravagant attire. The most interesting part of the night occurs when I am forced to dance with Plutarch Heavensbee, the new Head Gamemaker. He pulls out his pocketwatch and frets over it being so late. As he was closing it, I saw a Mockingjay flash over the face. He then told me that he had a Quell meeting at midnight, which seemed an odd hour for a meeting. He tells me to keep it a secret that he's attending a meeting. I tell him I will but I can't help but wonder if there was a reason he told me that.

At 1 a.m., Effie find Peeta and I. It is time for our farewell. We are then taken to the train station, heading home towards our own District. We go to bed shortly after getting settled, since the Harvest Festival will be awaiting us when we arrive.

* * *

I wake to a bright cabin, clearing indicating that I've slept well into the afternoon. Peeta is lying beside me looking towards the ceiling.

"You slept well." he says, turning to face me.

"Why are you here?" I ask with curiosity.

"I didn't feel like being alone last night. I had nightmares…bad ones." he admits with embarrassment.

"I usually do too." I say.

"We'll be home soon." he says changing the subject.

"I know." I say with a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"It's going to be weird, having to face everyone. And my mother…I don't know what she'll say."

"I'm sure my mother won't be much better. She won't like that I'm engaged to a girl from the Seam." I don't let the comment bother me too much. I know how nasty of a person his mother is. Peeta is nothing like her. He doesn't care about things like that. He leaves shortly after to get ready for the day. I do the same, preparing myself for what is to follow. As soon as we arrive, we have to be whisked to the Mayor house for dinner. We meet Effie, Haymitch and our prep teams in the dining car for lunch. When lunch is over, I retreat to my room to get a little more rest.

I am awoken by Effie who leads me to the exit of the train where everyone is waiting. Cinna wraps me in a coat and then we make our way from the plaform to the cars waiting for us. Citizens of District 12 are waiting there for us, to welcome us back home. Some reporters snap pictures of us as well. The cars pull up to the mayor's house where we will get ready for the evening's festivities. I find Madge waiting in the hall to greet me. We only had time to hug before I am taken away to be prepped.

Once, I am clean, my hair and make-up is done and I'm wearing a floor-length gown, I am ready. I have some time before dinner starts so I go to find Madge, to tell her about everything that has happened. I walk down the hall, and hear a muffled noise coming from her father's study. I peek my head in, to say hello but find the room empty. The noise was coming from the television. It is playing a recap of last night's events. I'm about to leave when the screen goes black words flash on the screen, "Update on District 8". This must be a secret message only for government officials which makes it even more appealing to stay. Maybe now I can finally see what is really happening the Districts. A reporter talks about worsening conditions in the District. The factories have been shut down. Next, the picture cuts to the square where a mob is shouting and throwing things and lighting them on fire. It looks absolutely terrifying. This is what President Snow was worried about…this is an uprising.

* * *

**Sorry if things were rushed in this chapter. Assume that the Capitol party was just how it was in Catching Fire.**

**Also, Merrick will be back next chapter and you'll see what he thinks of the engagement. **

**Don't forget to review ;)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Wow, it's been a long time since an update. Schoolwork has taken over my life. I finally have a little free time to write again so here is another chapter. As promised, Merrick returns in this chapter! Enjoy! **

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Chapter 18

Once the Harvest Festival is over, things return back to normal…well, as normal as they can be given the circumstances. I mainly keep to myself, not leaving my house except for the occasional visit to see Gale. The problem is that he's never home. Now that he's working in the mines, I never see him. When he is home, his mother always tells me he's sleeping or not feeling well. I'm starting to think it's all a lie really. One time, before I knocked on the door, I could have sworn I heard his voice, talking and laughing at his siblings. It's not like there was any ways to prove it.

About two weeks in, Peeta finally convinced me to venture outside. He said it would improve my mood to be around people. He said it had helped him. He started taking me places in town. I suppose it was good for our image to be seen together. We are engaged after all.

I soon become sick of it all though. I hate it how people are constantly asking me if the can see my ring or asking if we've set a date yet. The last thing I want is for a date to be set. I decide to venture out to my old house in the Seam. I need to be somewhere that feels like home, somewhere to get away from it all. I make my way down the path that connects the edge of town to the Seam. As I make my way down the empty road, I hear something behind me, the sound of a twig snapping. I turn around to find myself alone. I continue down the path until I hear a branch move. I turn around again and find no one there. I can't shake the feeling that I'm being followed. After what happened during the Games and Victory Tour, I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't someone watching me, making sure I kept in line.

I leave the path, taking an alternate route to my house. It is not a route most people know about. If I am being followed, I will know it for sure. I quickly make my way through the small trail listening as I go. I hear someone or something else making noise as I walk. The untrained ear may not hear it but I am a hunter. I hear everything.

I bend over when my foot lands besides a small rock. I bend down and pretend to tie my boot, instead hiding the jagged rock in my hand. I know it is a risk to put myself in such a vulnerable position but I feel the need to arm myself. I straighten up and continue my walk as my heart accelerates. Maybe I shouldn't have ventured here by myself. My family doesn't even know where I am. I hear the noise close to me, almost behind me. I turn around and raise the rock above my head, ready to strike.

Instead of seeing someone that poses a threat to me, I see the opposite. I see a boy that would never dare hurt me. His eyes are wide, his expression full of fear. I drop the rock and run to him, wrapping my arms around.

"Merrick, what are you doing? You scared me!" I exclaim.

"I wanted to see you…I knew it wasn't safe to go to your house or to try to talk to you in town so I waited until you went somewhere more private."

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"My father got the promotion, remember? The one I told you about on the Tour. This is where he was sent." he said smiling down at me.

"How long are you here for?"

"A long time." he murmurs, nuzzling his face next to mine. I like his answer. He joins his lips with mine, kissing me deeply. I feel my desire for him return, coursing through my whole body. I'd let have me right here if he wanted, in the stillness of the woods. I reach down and unsecure the button to his pants.

"That bad?" he says with a chuckle. My cheeks flush with embarrassment as I nod my head. I'm not one to be this impulsive. He fastens his button and takes my hand.

"Lead the way, Miss Everdeen." he says extending his hand ahead of us. We walk together through the woods smiling at each other and laughing. We don't say a word though. It's kind of nice. When we finally do reach my house, we enter through the back so no one will see us. I shut the door behind me and lock it. When I turn around, he presses my body against it as he leans into me. His lips find mine again and I feel his hips connect with mine as he slowly grinds into me. I moan as I feel his arousal rubbing against me.

"Where's your room?" he murmurs in my ear. I slide myself free and take his hand, leading him to my room. We don't waste any time, undressing ourselves as soon as the door is shut. I take in his naked form while he does the same. His muscles look even more defined than they did just a month ago. I walk over to him and sweep my fingertips across his chiseled abdomen. I walk behind him, taking in his sculpted back, his firm butt. What is going on in District 2?

"They're training us extra hard for the Quell." he says, somehow reading my mind. "Not that it matters for me, but everyone is expected to participate in training."

He stops talking and admires my body, tracing every delicate curve. Now that we can afford to eat, I finally look the way I should. I look like a woman. He moves closer to me. I quiver when he brushes up against me, sending another surge of desire through me. He smiles and kisses me as he pulls me even closer. I break the kiss and push him gently away from me. I pull back the covers and lay down on the mattress, waiting for him to join me. His lustful stare travels down my body and back up again. He climbs into bed beside me begin his work, moving his lips down my body, hitting every sensitive spot. His lips part my skin when he reaches my navel. I feel his warm breath on my inner thigh before his lips make contact once again. They don't stay there for long, choosing a place far more delicate than that. I gasp and clutch the bed sheet with my hands when I feel his mouth between my legs. He lets out a laugh that reverberates on my skin, causing more pleasure. He uses his tongue to explore me. I try my best to remain still but the sensation feels so foreign to me. The lower half of me twitches and Merrick has to brace my hips with his hands to steady me. A moan rolls from the back of my throat to the air as he hits a spot that nearly sends me over the edge.

"Merrick." I pant, pulling on his hair. He resurfaces and kisses my lips. His hips connect with mine and his erection bores into my abdomen. I slide my hand in between us, taking hold of him, letting him know I am ready. He raises his hips and lowers them as I guide him inside me.

He thrusts against me in a smooth motion, like gentle waves lapping onto the shore. As time passes, his rhythm increases, accelerating my heartbeat. My breaths come ragged as my body reacts to the pleasure he is raining on me. His breaths are as labored as mine as he does his best to hold on to the moment. He succumbs, his body stiffening as he spills inside of me. He resumes his thrusting, determined to help me reach that same ecstasy. It isn't long until I'm there, my moans bellowing into the air as I climax. He removes himself from me and collapses beside me, pulling me close to him. I gaze into his eyes as I try to bring my breathing back to normal, taking deeps breaths in and out. He follows my lead, inhaling and exhaling as I do. I place my hand on the back of his neck, gently stoking the hairs on the edge of his hairline. He face takes on a curious expression and I feel his hand removing mine from him. He brings my hand close to his face as he examines the ring that rest on my finger. Curiosity is replaced with sorrow and disappointment.

"It's not real." I say.

"The ring or the engagement?" he says trying to make a joke, only he is not laughing.

"The engagement."

"Then why wear the ring?"

"Because people are watching."

"Would you really go through with it?" he asks with concern. My eyes break away from his, as I try to avoid answering him.

"It's not my decision."

"It's your life."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not in control of anything anymore. I have people to make decisions for me."

"But Katniss you don't love him…and he doesn't love you. How would that work?"

"But we would be safe. Our families would be safe."

"And what would happen to me if you married him?" he asks with pain in his eyes.

"Nothing would change. We would go on just as we are now."

"In private." he says clearly unhappy with the arrangement.

"It's the only way." I tell him.

"I don't want to share you." he says.

"You wouldn't have to."

"So how does it work? You live him with him; sleep in the same bed as him. And what would I be, your…" he trails off trying to search for the word. "Your lover on the side."

"You'd be my boyfriend." I tell him.

"Married women don't have boyfriends Katniss. At least they're not suppose to!" he says now sitting up.

"It wouldn't be a real marriage…just on paper." I say kneeling beside him.

"How could you ever want anything like that? Don't you know what marriage is about?" he says removing himself from the bed. He locates his boxers and puts them on. I follow him, grabbing my shirt and underwear to cover myself.

"Of course I do. I know what love is like. I've seen it with my parents."

"And you think you don't deserve that kind of love?" he says standing in front of me.

"I never planned on it, falling in love." I say pointing my eyes towards the ground.

"Well it's staring you right in the face, Katniss. I'm in love with you. Do you know how it feels to hear you talk about marrying some other guy, and having me as some shadow in the background? It hurts." he says. I feel horrible. Do I want to have to hide him, like some sort of shameful secret? No. It's the only way it can work though. I need to keep up the charade of being madly in love with Peeta. It will help prevent a rebellion. It will help keep the ones I love safe.

"For now, this is how it has to be." I say caressing his face. "I don't like it either. You know I don't. And you know what I feel for you. You know I love you." I tell him. He exhales, his breath wavering as he does so. He pulls me closer to him, burying his face into my hair. He then kisses the side of my neck.

"Come back to bed." I murmur into his ear. He breaks his embrace, taking my hand as I lead him back to bed. I pull back the covers and we climb inside until we are wrapped around each other beneath the covers. He strokes my hair as he gazes lovingly into my eyes. I decide not to ruin the moment with words. We can talk about this later. I cuddle close to him and feel the warmth of his body. I place my ear close to his heart and let its stead beat lull me to sleep.

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**Sorry to end this chapter on the a low note. Things will get better. Also, there is a huge plot twist in the next chapter (any guesses as to what?)**

**Don't forget to review so I know what you thought of this chapter (good and/or bad). If you have anything you'd like to see happen, let me know (maybe I'll write it somewhere into the story). **

**I will most likely update again some time this week so keep checking back!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed! As promised, here is another update! Get ready to be shocked...big revelation in this chapter.**

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Chapter 19

I walk further into the woods towards the little house by the lake. I need to talk to Gale and it needs be somewhere more private, especially after the incident with the kiss. I'm still not sure how Snow found out about that. As I travel, I leave little gifts on the fallen snow to guide Gale to me, if he will even show up. I haven't seen him since my arrival back to District 12. He's probably still trying to wrap his head around my engagement. I know he cannot be thrilled with the fact that I'd go this far to fake my relationship with Peeta. He also doesn't know about President Snow and the threats he made about his life.

After a couple of hours, I reach our meeting place. I go inside and start a small fire to warm myself. I sit down on the damp ground and hold my hands close to the fire. It reminds me of the nickname that Caesar gave me. I was the Girl on Fire. It seems to have stuck as I heard it throughout the Victory Tour.

Much to my surprise, I see Gale enter through the stone frame, throwing a dead turkey onto a small pile of snow in the corner. He lets the gifts fall to a pile in front of me.

"Those are for you. You can keep them." I say.

"I don't want them." he says bitterly.

"I got them for you…during the Tour. I was going to give them to you sooner but…" I trail off. I look up to see his anger is replaced with hurt.

"Why'd you do it Katniss?" he asked quietly.

"Snow saw us kiss…somehow. It was the only way to protect you." I say as calmly as I can.

"But you can't…you won't. Katniss you won't go through with it, will you?" he chokes out.

"I don't know." I tell him. It's the truth. I have no idea what to do about my current predicament.

"Since when were you one to give up so easily? You can fix this. You're a fighter. You've never let anyone control you and you sure as hell better not let someone start now." he says with fervor.

"It's not that simple Gale." I say, standing to meet him. "You don't know the whole story."

"So tell me." he said sitting down near the fire. I join him and tell him everything, about the Games, about Snow, about the Tour and the news report I saw. He listens the whole time, not once interrupting me.

"Sounds you really messed up the balance." he said with a smirk.

"It's not funny Gale; this is serious stuff."

"I should have known you'd give them hell."

"That was never my intention."

"So what do you next?" he asks.

"I have a plan. It's not a very good one but it's the only thing I could think of." I admit as I fidget with my gloves.

"Let's hear it." he said with anticipation.

"We run away." I say as seriously as I can while I look into his eyes.

"What?" he says in shock.

"Forget it." I say standing up to leave. I feel embarrassed that that is the best I could come up with. He was probably expecting something so much better than that. Gale springs from the floor and stops me before I can reach the door. He braces my shoulders, preventing me for leaving. I'm having a difficult time reading him right now.

"You want to make a run for it?" he asks.

"Yes, I was remembering that day of the Reaping, when you said we could live in the woods and I realized that it might be the only safe way for me to continue. And I think we could do it…survive in the woods. I think _we_ both could make it."

"_We_?" he said with an eyebrow raised.

"You said you wanted to come with me. If you don't I under—" I am cut off mid-sentence as Gale lifts me and spins with me in his arms. He lowers me to the ground and he is smiling.

"Yes, of course I'll go." he says pulling me closer to him. "We can leave tonight and never look back!" I am surprised by Gale's enthusiasm. I have never seen him this excited before.

"We'd have to bring our families too. They wouldn't be safe if we fled."

"Of course we'd take them." he says as if it were a given. "We'll make it work Katniss. I know it might be difficult but we can do this. All those years of hunting and gathering have prepared us for this. I know we can make it work." he says as he presses his forehead to mine. I feel his arms pull me closer so there is no space between our bodies. We are silent in the moment, taking each other in. I'm so happy that he's no longer mad at me or trying to avoid me. He's even agreed to go along with my crazy plan.

"Katniss, there's something I need to tell you…something I tried to tell you after the Reaping but couldn't finish." he whispers.

"Then say it now." I whisper back. He takes a few deep breaths before the words escape his lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I say very casually. He pulls away slightly so his face is right in front of mine.

"No Katniss, I'm in love with you." he says. I stand there with my mouth hanging open as he makes his confession. I'm not sure why I'm so shocked. He had kissed me once before. I guess I though he did it out of curiosity, not desire.

"Katniss say something." he murmurs.

"I don't know what to say." I tell him. The last thing I want is to hurt my best friend. I also know I cannot lie to him either.

"Do you love me?" he asks. My silence says it all. He knows I don't feel the same. He pulls away, grabbing his things from the ground.

"Gale, wait." I say grabbing onto his sleeve. I block the doorway and grab the fabric of his coat. "Gale, you know what you mean to me." As hard as his tries, his eyes cannot hide his disappointment.

"That day by the tree, when I kissed you…you didn't pull away. I just thought maybe, just maybe, just might have felt the same."

"I also didn't kiss you back." I mutter as I look at the ground.

"I think I could be good for you, Katniss. I could take care of you, I know I could." he says caressing my cheek. I turn away from him and walk to the window, leaning my arms on the sill. I'm not sure what to tell him. Should I let him know that the boy that he has been vying with for my affection is back in District 12? I know he'll find out eventually. It's a small District. He's bound to run into him sooner or later.

"Merrick's back." I say. I hear his belongings drop to the floor. His footsteps grow nearer and I turn my body slightly so I can gauge his reaction. He leans against the wall. I expected some big explosion from him; a wild tangent filled with angry words. Instead, he stands there collecting himself.

"It always comes back to him, doesn't it?" he asks. I nod. "How long is here for this time?"

"A long time." I say. I can tell he doesn't like my answer.

"And how does he feel about your engagement?" he asks with a smirk.

"You already know the answer to that." I say.

"Ok, maybe I just wanted to hear you say it. Is he's ok with it? With the whole façade?" He was now smiling. I couldn't help but think that Gale was actually enjoying himself right now.

"Wipe that grin off your face." I say rolling my eyes.

"It will be interesting to see what happens." he tells me.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"You pretending to be in love with Peeta Mellark. I just hope he isn't the jealous type."

"He knows how I feel about him." I refute.

"Yeah but it's a different story when you see the person you like with another person. I've seen the way you are with Peeta in public, when people are watching. He's not going to like that."

"It's not like I want to do it. People are watching…Peacekeepers are watching."

"I know." he says. We are quite for a while. I see that Gale is thinking about something. I wait until he's ready to speak. "That plan of yours…to escape to the woods. Are you really going leave now that he is back?"

"I was going to ask him to come with us." I tell him. I can tell he doesn't like it.

"No, Katniss. Absolutely not!" he says. His anger returns.

"Why not?" I ask.

"It's going to be hard enough as it is without having to worry about another mouth to feed."

"You just don't want him to come." I spit back.

"No." he says, denying my claim.

"Yes you are. You're jealous. You're jealous that he got to me before you could." I shout. A stern look appears on his face.

"He is a Peacekeeper's son. You think if he comes with us that his father won't go straight to Capitol to tell him what happened. They'd search for us Katniss."

"And they won't search for us regardless? I'm 'important' now." I say using air quotes.

"If you ask him to go with us, I'm staying here."

"That's not fair!"

"I'll give you some time to think about it. I have deliveries to make." he says grabbing his things and exiting the house. I don't try to go after him. There is nothing I can say to make the situation better right now. His anger will not let him see reason. He's too stubborn for that. I'll wait until he is calm to try to repair the damage that was done in this small cabin.

I sit down by the fire, trying to suppress my own anger at him. Why did he have to confess his love for me? He knows we are just friends. He knows how much we rely on each other. I never gave him the slightest hint that my feelings from him could be something more.

I know that my plan is no longer viable. Either way I'd have to leave someone I care for behind. I take a deep breath to calm myself. I'll have to think of another plan…later. I stand up and stomp out the small fire that remains with my boot and then throw snow on the glowing embers. I gather my things and make my way back to the District. I move slowly, not wanting to run into Gale on the way back. It takes me an extra half hour to get back. I hide my bow and quiver and slide under the hole in the fence.

When I reach town, I see Merrick exiting one of the shops. When I catch his eye, he smiles and walks up to me. He grabs me by the hand and leads me to a small, secluded alleyway. He turns to face me and presses his lips to mine. As he kisses me, I know I could never leave him behind. My mind is made up. I will not escape to the woods. I will remain here with him.

"Thanks, I needed that." I say with a smile as I gaze into his eyes.

"Something wrong?" he asks.

"No, not anymore."

"Come on, I'll walk you home." he says taking my hand. I let him hold it while we are in the alleyway but release it as soon as reach the road. I cannot have anyone thinking that there is something going on with him. In the public eye, I belong to someone else. We make our way to the square where a large crowd is assembled. Their whispering and gasps are a backdrop to the large cracking noise that sounds out every couple of seconds.

"What's that?" I ask, unfamiliar with the sound. Merrick leads me to a wall where some large crates are stacked. He climbs one to see what all the commotion is about. I start to climb but he jumps down and pulls me off the top of the crate before I can see anything.

"Get out of here." he says with insistence as he pushes me in the direction of Victor's Village. Fear is written on his face.

"What is it?" I ask, dodging past him for the crate. I need to see it.

"Katniss, go home!" he says, nudging me in the direction of my house. He then disappears into the crowd, pushing his way through. I follow him, wondering what he could possibly be doing. I hear warnings from the people in the crowd, telling me to stay away, that I'll only make it worse. I'm not sure what they mean by that. It only compels me to travel faster to the center to see what is waiting there for me.

I reach a break in the crowd and am horrified by what I see. I see Gale bound to a wooden post, slumped over and shirtless. Blood is trickling down his back and low moans escape him. There is a tall man, dressed in a gray uniform jacket holding onto a whip. I cannot see his face but I know it isn't Cray; it's someone new. A new Head Peacekeeper. My brain struggles to connect why this is happening. I look further up the post and see the turkey Gale had been carrying when he met me in the cabin. He was caught. Now this was his punishment. I jump when I feel someone grab a hold of me.

"Katniss, I told you to get out here!" Merrick pleads.

"Gale—" I choke out, unable think of anything else at the moment.

"I'm going to take care of this." he says before walking closer to the pair in the middle.

"No!" I plead as I follow him.

"Stop!" he shouts. The man continues to crack the whip onto Gale's mutilated flesh.

"Merrick!" I shout. I don't want him to get in trouble. I don't want him to be next. At the sound of his name, the man turns around, his brow furrowed.

"Go home Merrick." I hear the man say in a calm tone. What is he doing? Why is he talking to Merrick as if he knows him? The man turns to face Gale and cracks the whip again.

"Father, stop! He's had enough!" Merrick shouts as steps on the end of the whip. I feel a cry rise in the back of my throat as I make the connections. Merrick showing up in District 12, telling me he will be here for a long time. Him telling me that his father got a promotion. He failed to mention what that promotion was.

"I think I can determine when enough is enough." he says pulling the whip free from Merrick's foot. "Now leave."

"No, not until you stop." Merrick says. His father walks closer to him and mutters quiet words to him. While this exchange is occurring, I find the person closest to me to get answers.

"Who's that man?"

"Romulus Thread. New Head Peacekeeper. Very strict, follows rules by the book." a woman said.

"What about Cray?" I ask, still not understanding why there was a change in administration.

"Capitol found out he was being too lax, letting too many illegal practices slip by. They brought in someone new. Some who they thought could do the job better."

I look back and see Merrick take a step back. Two Peacekeepers appear behind him and escort him away from the square. Romulus Thread raises his whip again. I then do something very irrational. I run as fast as I can, covering Gale's body with my own. I feel the whip pound into my back. The pain is intense, even with my clothing and heavy coat to soften the blow. The end on the whip grazes my cheek, and a flash of white blinds my vision. I place my hand to my face and find my hand covered with blood.

I grip onto Gale tightly, not letting him take another beating to his back. It's bad enough as it is. I hear Thread crack the whip in the air and he laughs, teasing me. I then feel it again on my back and press my lips together to hold back from shouting.

"Hold it!" a voice presses. I look up and see Haymitch staggering towards us. He pulls me off of Gale and inspects my face.

"You did this?" Haymitch grunts at Thread.

"She got in the way of my whip." he says without apology.

"She's got a photo shoot for the Capitol next week modeling wedding dresses. What am I suppose to do about this?" he asks pointing to my cheek.

"Maybe she should think about her actions. I am just delivering punishment to this _criminal_." Haymitch then goes on a tangent telling the man how ridiculous he's being and that he will be calling the Capitol to complain. The man asks what motive I have for protecting him. Haymitch gives him a clever lie, telling him that Gale is my cousin. He seems to believe it. More words are exchanged with someone from the crowd explaining something to the New Peacekeeper. I'm not really sure what they are saying. I am kneeling on the ground in front Gale, trying to rouse him. I gently tap his face but it's not enough. Thread comes over to me and tells me that next time, there will be no second chance. He then leaves, taking the Peacekeepers with him. Haymitch pulls me off the ground.

"Go to your mother. Let her know what's happened. We'll bring him over." he says. I nod and then go, running back towards Victor's Village. I fall as I collide with someone that gets in my way. It's Merrick.

"Katniss!" he says with worry when he sees my cheek.

"I have to go." I say, continuing on my way.

"Katniss, wait." he says catching up to me.

"Merrick now is not a good time. I have to go to my mother so she can help Gale." I say, brushing him off. I'm not too happy with him right now. How could he leave out part of the reason he was in District 12?

"Is he going to be ok?"

"I don't know." I snap at him. "Why didn't you tell me your father was the new Head Peacekeeper?"

"I didn't think that mattered."

"Merrick, you know we hunt and trade with the officials in District 12. Gale went to your house thinking Cray would answer. You father just about killed him…and he might…I need to go." I say running away as tears pour down my face. I reach my house and burst through the door, shouting for my mother. She hurries into the hallway.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" she asks calmly.

"It's Gale. The new Head Peacekeeper whipped him for poaching. They're bringing him here…Haymitch and the others. We need to get things ready."

She leads me into the kitchen and leaves for a moment, returning with some blankets in her hand. She instructs me to clear off the kitchen table and lay the blankets on top of it. I do as she says. I hear a tap on the door and quickly go to answer it. Haymitch, Peeta, and two other guys are carrying Gale on a plank of wood. I show them to the kitchen. They lay the plank on the kitchen table and then remove it from underneath Gale. I rush to Gale's side, sitting down by his head. I stroke his hair while gently saying his name. I feel so bad that this happened to him. I feel bad that our last conversation consisted of us fighting. I hope he makes it. That cannot be the last conversation I have with him.

My mother comes to the table with a bowl of warm water, which has a satchel of soothing herbs floating in it. She dips a cloth into the basin and squeezes the excess water before gently patting his back. The cloth takes on a reddish color as she cleans his ravaged flesh. It's too painful to look at. Instead I look at his face, which is vacant of any expression. Maybe it's better that he isn't conscious for this.

"Stay with me Gale." I whisper. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to find Peeta.

"Here put this on your cheek." he says handing me a handkerchief filled with snow. I place it on my cheek and feel the coldness numb my face.

"What happened?" he asked sitting next to me. I tell him as much as I know. There are still gaps in the story that I don't know yet. I know the gist though. There is another knock on the door. I look to Peeta.

"I'll get it. You stay with him." he says. A few seconds later, Hazelle Hawthorne enters the kitchen, scurrying to my side.

"I'm sorry." I cry as she takes me in her arms. "How did you find out?"

"Someone who saw it came to get me. Told me to leave the children. How is he?"

"I don't know. Mom?" I ask looking up to her.

"Too soon to say. We'll have to wait until tomorrow." she says as she continues to clean the blood from his wound. She then applies a salve she made and a light linen bandage. As soon as she finishes, I heard a faint moan muttered from Gale's lips. He's waking. I move away from him to my mother who is digging through her medicine chest.

"Mom he needs something. The pain will be too much."

"I know Katniss." she says in an even tone. She pulls out a syringe and a small vial of pain medicine. She fills the syringes with a tiny bit of the green liquid.

"That's not enough. He needs more than that."

"Katniss, we have to save as much as we can. You know our supply is dwindling down."

"But it won't help him. It won't be enough for the pain. Mom, it's Gale!" I say exasperated. She doesn't seem to care though. She walks over to administer the shot. "No, he needs more!" I shout, grabbing her arm. I'm immediately restrained my Haymitch and Peeta. A groan comes from Gale.

"He'll be able to handle it." she tells me.

"How do you know that! You don't know what it's like getting whipped. He needs it!" I say thrashing around, trying to break free. My foot hits my mother's arm, causing her to almost drop the syringe.

"That's it, get her out of here!" she urges.

"Gale!" I shout. He lets out another groan and reaches for me, reopening his wounds. I'm carried out of the room into the living room where I'm dumped onto the couch. Haymitch holds me down.

"Listen, sweetheart. It's going to be a lot easier if you don't put up a fight. She knows what she's doing. She's done this many times before Cray came to power. She'll fix him." he tells me. My mother enters the living room and treats my wound, cleaning it and rubbing the same salve over it that she used on Gale.

"You need to trust me." she tells me. I nod my head.

Suddenly, we hear a knock on the door. All of our heads immediately turn towards it.

"Maybe they've come back for him." Haymitch says with a cynical laugh.

"Well they can't have him. I won't let them take him." I say with determination.

"Or maybe they it's you they want. It is your house."

"I'll go, if it will keep him safe." I say. I take a deep breath then walk to the door. I expect Peacekeepers but instead see Madge Undersee standing in the middle of a blizzard.

"Use these on him. My mother gave them to me. She wants to help." she says handing me a box. I open the box to find a set of 8 vials of clear liquid. Before I even have time to open my mouth to thank her, she is gone. My mother enters the hall and closes the door that is wide open. she then stands beside me.

"What did she bring?" she asks and she lightly touches my lower back. I clutch onto the box and squeeze my eyes shut as searing pain courses through my back. Now that the adrenaline is wearing out, the pain from the whipping is returning. I crouch down, setting the box on the ground as I moan in pain.

"Katniss what is it?"

"Thread, he whipped me twice with my coat on. I was trying to protect him." I say.

"We need to get you upstairs to your bed." she says.

"No, first Gale." I say handing her the box. I manage to straighten up and hobble into the kitchen. When we enter, I can hear his shouts permeate the air. My mother quickly fills the syringe and sticks it into his arm.

"What is that?" I ask.

"It's morphling…a drug from the Capitol." she explains. "Come on, let's tend to you now."

"No, I want to stay here. Just until he's asleep." I say. Hazelle leaves his side to talk to my mother in private. I take her seat, laying my head next to his, so close that our foreheads and noses are touching. He eyes stare at mine through the drug-filled haze.

"You'll be ok now. You won't feel a thing." I whisper to him. I see the worry in his eyes as his finger sweeps the skin under my wound.

"Catnip." he whispers.

"I'm fine." I whisper back. The truth is I'm not fine really. The position I'm seated in, with my back twisted only intensifies my pain. It's worth it though, to let him know I'm right here with him.

"You're hurt." he says.

"I'm fine." I reassure him. Then I do something I never expected I would do. I move my lips closer to his for a kiss. I feel his lips quiver for a few seconds. He can't hold on for too long though. The drugs are coursing though his system. When I pull away, I see him lying there, eyes closed, in a deep sleep. A kiss his forehead and stand up, gasping as I do. Peeta enters the room and lifts me off the ground, carrying me upstairs. He takes me to my room where my mother is waiting. Once Peeta leaves the room, my mother strips the clothes off my upper body.

"How bad is it?" I inquire, wincing as she touches my skin.

"No broken skin but you're bruised pretty badly. There is warm water in the tub waiting for you. Soak for 20 minutes and then straight to bed." she tells me. She leaves the room to go look after Gale, leaving me alone. I walk into my bathroom and turn so my back is facing the mirror. I look over my shoulder and find a rainbow of colors on my back, ranging from a yellowish tone, to a vibrant blue to a deep purple. I wonder how long it will take for the colors to fade. I slowly make my way into the tub, positioning myself so that my back doesn't hit the wall of the tub. I close my eyes and think about what happened today. I wonder what Merrick is doing right now. I wonder if he got in trouble for trying to stop his father. I don't know how I feel about him right now. The fact that he could be related to someone so evil is beyond me right now. I don't know what this will mean for us and our future, especially if Gale doesn't make it through this. Maybe Gale was right. Maybe we were never supposed to be together. We come from such different worlds.

Once the water is tepid, I remove myself from the tub. I drain the water and return to my room, dressing myself for bed. I turn out the light and lay on my stomach, gazing into the darkness, trying to think about what the future holds. Hoping that Gale is safe, that he'll recover. Hoping that Merrick will remain the same sweet boy he's always been. Hoping his father won't influence him or change him. These thoughts course through my brain until my eyelids become heavy and I fall into sleep.

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**Merrick is Thread's son! Didn't see that coming, did you? I had planned from the beginning for this turn of events to happen. Let me know what you thought about it. Also, what do you think this means for Merrick/Katniss? Let me know in the reviews.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Short(er) chapter, but I figured you would enjoy an update. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 20

I wake up to the soft light of the morning peeking through my windows. It is an overcast day, the clouds covering the sky, not allowing any sunlight to permeate them. I look over to my alarm clock. It's still early, but I climb out of bed, wanting to check on Gale. My back is still sore. It hurts to move but I need to make sure he is still alive. I clutch the railing as I make my way downstairs, then hold onto the wall for support.

I find Gale where I left him, asleep on the kitchen table. I feel a little angered when I find him alone. Someone should be near him at all times. I sit in the chair I occupied last night. He is so still that I'm starting to wonder if he's still alive. I place my hand on his cheek. His skin is still warm. I then put my ear near his face to make sure he is still breathing. He is. I let out a sight of relief and then take his hand in mine, waiting for him to wake.

About twenty minutes later, my mother enters the kitchen wearing a robe and slippers. My anger returns when I think about how she left him alone.

"Why did you leave him?" I ask in a stern voice.

"He was sleeping Katniss." she answers.

"But something could have gone wrong."

"He's fine." she said nonchalantly.

"Next time you leave him, you make sure I'm here with him." I warn her. She nods her head as a smile creeps on her face. "What?"

"It's amazing how tragedy can reveal a person's true feelings for another." she said walking closer to me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, still confused.

"It's obvious you care a great deal about him." she said sitting beside me.

"Of course I do. He's my friend." I answer back. She gives another grin but says noting in reply. I know what she's thinking. She's thinking there is some sort of romantic sentiment between Gale and I, which is ridiculous. He's my best friend. How could I ever feel that way about him?

My mother stands up and starts to remove his bandages.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"We need to let the wound breathe." she says as she removes the last of the bandages. I wince when I see it. I had almost forgotten how bad it looked from the night before.

"Will it heal?" I ask her.

"Yes, it will."

"How long will it take?"

"A few weeks." she says.

"But then he will be ok?" I question.

"It will still hurt sometimes, in the cold or when there are changes in air pressure. He will be ok, though." My mother leaves for a minute and returns with a damp cloth. She gently pressed on his back, cleaning the wound. I look at his face, expecting to see him in distress but instead he remains as still as before.

"You're lucky you're friend showed up with the morphling. He'd be in pure agony without it."

"I know. When does he get another dose?" I ask.

"I am actually going to try something else first, to see if it will help with the pain."

"Why not use the morphling? We have more." I interject.

"It's a highly addictive drug, Katniss and should be used sparingly. If my method doesn't work, I will give him another injection." she tells me. I nod in agreement with her plan.

I wait with Gale for a few hours, waiting for him to rouse from his sleep. The drugs have kept him pulled under though. I study his face, watching for any signs of discomfort. A half hour later, he lets out a gasp and closes his eyes tightly.

"Gale!" I say with worry as I stroke his hair. He grunts as he buries his face into his arm and pound his fist on the table.

"Mother!" I shout into the air, hoping she can hear me. She enters the kitchen. "Mom, he's in pain." I say in a panic. She grabs a large bowl from the counter and leaves the room.

I see my mother return with a big bowl of snow. She pulls some bottle from her medical box and adds a combination of liquids to the batch, mixing them quickly into the snow, which takes on a mint green tint. She brings the bowl over to the table with a linen cloth.

"What is that?"

"It's called snow coat. It will help with the pain." she said spreading the linen over his skin. She then ladled the mixture onto his back. I can hear the sizzling sound of the mixture hitting his heated flesh. He lets out a sigh and removes his face from his arm, resting his head on the table. A wave of calmness washes over him. My mother then hands me a small satchel of the snow coat for my face. As I press it to the gash on my cheek, I feel the throbbing pain disappear.

"Ah, this feels amazing. Why didn't you give it to us sooner?"

"The wound needs to set before you can use it." she says. My mother stands up and puts the rest of the mixture in the freezer for later. I take Gale's hand with my free hand and give it a gentle squeeze, to see if he's still conscious. His eyes flutter open, his gaze aimed at me.

"How are you feeling?" I whisper to him.

"Good." he says with a weak smile. "I want to know everything that happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"It's hard to remember anything after the first 40 lashes." he says weakly.

"I'll tell you later, you need your rest." I say. I'm not looking forward to tell him the full story but I know I will have to eventually.

"And you need your rest too." my mother says walk up to the table. "You're body is still healing too."

"Healing from what?" Gale asks confused.

"I'll tell you later." I say, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He smiles at my affection.

I walk upstairs to my room, as the pain shoots up my back. When I reach my room, I hear a clicking sound coming from my window. I walk to the windowpane and see Merrick, standing below, throwing pebbles at the glass. When he sees me appear, he stops and gives a wave. I wave back at him, but can't even muster a smile right now. I close my blinds and then walk to my bed collapsing on my stomach, wonder what I will do about this situation. Gale will be so angry once he hears the truth that I'm sure he'll do everything he can to keep Merrick away from me. And Merrick, what will I do with him? Can we even go back to how we used to be after everything that has happened? I silently hope that we can before I close my eyes and drift to sleep.

When I wake, my room is much darker, indicating the sun has long set. I must have needed the sleep. I crawl out of bed and make my way downstairs where I hear chatting in the living room and walk into the room. I find Peeta sitting next to Prim telling her stories that make her laugh and smile. I lean on the entranceway and revel in the moment. It's not often that I see Prim smile, especially since I returned home from the Games. She's is too serious for her age; it's nice to see her act like a child. As for Peeta, he really does have a way with words and is quite a good storyteller. I think back to all the stories he told me when we were trapped in that cave during the Games. They helped calm me during that perilous time.

After a few minutes, the moment ceases as I catch Peeta's eye. I walk toward him and feel him wrap his arms around my shoulders.

"I had to stop by to make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine." I tell him, feigning a smile.

"Aren't you going to kiss her?" Prim asks with a giddy tone. She thinks it's all real. We figured it was best to keep it that way so she wouldn't reveal the truth by mistake.

"I was getting to that part." he teases. He then closes the space between us and puts his lips to mine. I kiss him back. It's been such a long time since I've kissed him that I feel it would be good practice. When our lips part, he turns to Prim while still holding me in his arms.

"You happy?" he asks. Prim nods in reply. He then turns back to me. "I made you dinner. I figured that with everything going on, you had enough to worry about. I'll get you some."

"No, I'll come with you. I want to check on Gale anyway." I tell him. We walk into the kitchen and find my mother putting more snow coat on Gale's back. I can hear his heavy breathing indicating that he is awake and try to manage the pain. I start to walk towards him but my mother shakes her head at me. Peeta leads me to the stove. I pour myself a bowl of soup while he slices me some bread he baked. We put it on a tray and he carries it to the living room where he sets it on the coffee table. I kneel in front of it and begin to consume the food. It's not until I start that I realize how hungry I am. It's been over a day since my last meal.

"It's a good thing Effie isn't here. She'd be appalled." Peeta says with a laugh. I shoot him a look and he laughs some more. We spend the next hour updating each other on our lives over the past few weeks. Then, it is time for him to go home. I offer to walk with him. I've been wanting to speak to Haymitch. My mother gives me some soup and bread to take to Haymitch and we are on our way.

We make our way down the stairs just fine, but then realize the concrete is now covered with icy patches. We try to maneuver our way down the path to his house but it proves to be difficult. Peeta clutches onto me and I hold onto him as we try to regain our footing but eventually we come crashing down to the ground, laughing as we fall.

"See I told you this leg was no good." he says with a smile as turns towards me.

"Well I'm sure the Capitol wasn't worried about icy walkways when they were designing it. They probably never have that there." I say as I help him up. I grab the bag with Haymitch's dinner and we continue to make our way to Peeta's house. We walk inside to a deafening silence.

"They still haven't moved in yet." I murmur.

"No." he says looking to the ground. "Most of them won't even talk to me…with the exception of my father."

"So you're here all by yourself?" I ask with concern. He nods his head. "Peeta, you could come live with us. We have the room and you know my family just loves you." I say, trying my best to convince him.

"I'll be fine here, really, I will." he says. "Besides, what would the people think if they find out we are living together before we are married?" he jokes. A somber expression appears on my face and his smile fades. "It was only a joke, Katniss."

"But it will still happen. When you do you think it will happen?" I ask.

"I talked to Haymitch. He imagines sometime around the Quarter Quell…to add to the festivities." he says with an eye roll.

"What will we do?" I ask with worry.

"Hope that something will happen that will prevent it from happening." he says.

I give him a hug and then make my way to Haymitch's house. I open the door and a putrid smell stings my nostrils. I find him in the kitchen slumped over the kitchen table, a drink in one hand and a knife in another. I don't want to be to near to him when I wake him so I grab a pan and a large spoon and clang the spoon against the metal pan. He jumps up and holds his bottle up instead of the knife, as if he is going to attack me with it.

"Yeah, that will really do some damage." I sputter sarcastically.

"What brings you here, sweetheart?" he slurs out.

"Brought you some dinner…and to talk." I say as I grab a bowl and a spoon from the cabinets. I empty the soup into the bowl and place it in front of him. He takes the bowl in his hands and tries some, a sickening sound coming from his mouth. He then adds some liquor to the soup and mixes it with his knife before trying it again.

"Much better." he says. "Oh, by the way, got a package for you from the Capitol from Effie Trinket. It's on the table in the hall." he tells me. I walk and retrieve the package, which has already been opened. I bring it into the kitchen and open the lid to find a small jar of cream.

"What's it for?" I ask.

"For that gash on your face. Need to look pretty for the photo shoot." he says. My heart drops.

"I didn't think that was real. I thought you just made that up."

"No it's real. I bought you a few weeks though."

"So it's really happening…the wedding."

"Yes." he says, then pauses. "We all have to do things we don't want to do, Katniss." he says with sympathy. I never expected that tone from him.

"But I have to _marry_ him."

"Could be a lot worse. He's a decent boy. Way too good for you." he remarks before taking a swig of liquor.

"I know." I say with a sigh. "What did you have to you?"

"Huh?" he asks, taken off-guard.

"You said we all have to do things we don't want to do. What did you have to do?" He hesitates, contemplating whether or not he should tell me.

"I was obstinate, trying to one over the Capitol, and I paid for it. Lost everyone I loved. That's why you need to be careful. You're walking a very fine line. Don't think that they won't try to do the same to you."

I nod my head in reply.

"Get on out of here." he says shooing me away. "And don't forget to use that cream."

I leave his house and walk back home. When I get inside, I check on Gale once more then head upstairs. I take a warm shower and then inspect my wounds in mirror. The bruises on my back are just as vibrant in color as they were the previous night. The gash on my face looks pretty bad too. I open the jar of cream and spread it across my cheek before heading to bed. As I lay there, I realize, I don't want to be alone tonight. I walk to Prim's room where she is already fast asleep. I get under the covers and cuddle up next to her. It feels good to have someone near, to feel like I'm not alone. I hold onto her tightly, happy that she safe and here with me.

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**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. **


	21. Chapter 21

**Hello, everyone. So sorry for the long span of time between updates. This semester was a busy one with limited time to write. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Chapter 21

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. Prim must have already been in school by now. I lay there, still trying to make sense of the past few days. I thought about what I would say to Gale when he will inevitably ask me what happened to him after his was whipped and how I received the mark on my cheek. I thought about my next exchange with Merrick. It's no secret that I have been avoiding him. I'm dreading what will come of all of this.

I do not stir from my bed until I hear my mother call my name from the hallway. I rush to the door and swing it open. She looks surprised to see me emerge from Prim's room instead of my own.

"What's wrong?" I ask, thinking this the only reason for her to call upon me.

"I need to you to watch Gale. There's been an accident in the mines. I need to go." she says.

"How bad is it?" I ask, stiff with fear. My body always reacts this way when I hear news of a mining accident. I can only think of the injured miners and their families.

"About a dozen of them have been injured…no casualties. They need my help. You'll need to watch Gale and administer medicine if he needs it." she says as we walk down to the kitchen. She grabs her bag and stuffs it full of medical supplies. She then shows me how to administer morphling and where the snow coat is located. "He'll need to be washed, if he can sit up…"

"Why?" I ask, really wondering if it's necessary.

"Because he's dirty." is her simple answer. With that she leaves and I sit down beside Gale to watch over him. What seems like hours pass by slowly as I wait for him to regain consciousness. I rest my chin on my arms, which are crossed on the table as I stare at him. He eventually opens his eyes and stares back at me. His hand moves to my cheek where he smooths his thumb over my skin.

"You're better." he mutters. I remove his hand and touch my skin to find the gash healed.

"How are you?" I ask.

"Ok."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really. You mother gave me some medicine earlier this morning." he said. That would explain why he was passed out until noon.

"Can you sit up?" I ask him.

"Why?"

"My mother says you need to be cleaned." I tell him. He nods his head before pushing his chest off the table. I slide his legs toward me as he sit up let out a gasp. He closes his eyes as he leans forward, trying to deal with the pain. "I'll be quick."

I rush over to the counter and pour the warm water into a basin, add some soap to the water. I locate a hand towel and toss it in the water before carrying it back to him. I grab another basin with clean water and another towel as well. I start with his face, carefully wiping away the sweat without the soap reaching his eyes and mouth. I then reach for the clean cloth, removing the soap from his skin. I repeat this pattern focusing on small parts of his body: his neck, each of his arms and his chest. When I reach his abdomen, he rests his forehead on my shoulder.

"Halfway done." I inform him. "We can take a break if you need it."

"No keep going." he murmurs to me. I then wash his sides and come to a stop when I realize that I'm going to have to remove his pants. He'll need another pair to wear. His current ones are still covered in coal dust. I take him by the shoulders and sit him up straight.

"I need to go upstairs for something. Will you be ok?" I ask, making eye contact. He nods. I quickly make my way to my mother's room to retrieve a pair of pants that once belonged to my father. I make my way to kitchen, relieved to see Gale still in the position I left him in. I place the pants on the chair next to me and then work on the button of his pants. I only feel more anxious when I unzip the zipper. I then blindly take hold of the band of his pants and underwear, inching them downwards until they have left his body. I quickly grab a towel and throw it over his lap without looking. I can feel my cheeks redden just at the thought of accidently catching a glimpse.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Katniss." he said looking down at me, as I wash his leg.

"You know it makes me uncomfortable." I admit to him. I think back to all the times he'd go swimming naked in the lake. It was bad enough to see the back of him as he passed me to jump in the cool water. I could only imagine how shocking it would be to see him from the front.

"Maybe there's a reason." he answers back.

"I can barely look at myself, Gale. What makes you think I could look at you?" I ask.

"There's nothing wrong with being naked Katniss." he says as he reaches for the towel. I place my hand over his, preventing him from exposing himself.

"Don't." I warn him, looking sternly in his eyes.

"Fine." he says in a low voice, bracing the end of the table. My face softens when I wonder if they drugs are making him behave this way. He does like to tease me though. I quickly finish his other leg and then work the pants up his body, looking ahead as I pull them up to his waist.

"Can you fasten them?" I ask him.

"Katniss, I can barely hold myself up." he remarks. I do my best, trying to avoid touching any part of him as I close up his pants. I wish I could say I was successful. I also wish I could erase from my brain the moan he made when hand accidently brushed against him.

"This table…is it comfortable?" I ask him, quickly changing the subject.

"What do you think?" he asks with a huff.

"There's a guest room on this floor, down the hall. Do you think you could make it if I help you?" I ask him. The thought of a warm, comfortable bed is enough to cause him to lightly smile. I help him from sitting on the table to sitting on the chair before helping him stand up. He wraps his arm around my shoulders when he stands up straight. He winces in pain as he leans on me for support. It's a wonder that he is even still standing. I help him move around the table and we exit the kitchen. He leans against the hallway wall as we make our way, wincing with each movement.

"We're almost there. You're doing great." I reassure him.

"It hurts too much." he says resting the side of his body against the wall.

"Just a few feet more and we'll be in the room."

"Katniss, I can't." he says in defeat.

"Rest for a minute." I tell him, hoping this won't hinder his progress. He shifts against the wall, now facing towards it as he takes a few calming breaths. After a minute, I suggest we start again and help him face in the right direction. His legs give out though and before I know it, he's crashing down, taking me with him. He lands on top of me, with my bruised back pressing into the ground. I let out a scream in response. The fear flickers across his face as he makes eye contact.

"Katniss." he says, panicked.

"It's fine." I say, trying to keep my cool. I squirm out from under him and then have to drag him the rest of the way. I pull back the covers and help him climb up the side of the bed until he's lying on his stomach on the soft mattress. He lets out a sigh of relief to finally be resting in a comfortable place. I walk around to the other side of the bed and lay beside him on my side. I lie there and think about what I could do to help him. I then remember the medicine that Effie had sent from the Capitol. I race out of the room to my bathroom and retrieve the small jar before returning back to Gale.

"What's that?" he asks.

"It's what I used on my cheek. It could help you too."

"My back is pretty bad." he tells me.

"It's good medicine from the Capitol. I don't have enough for your whole back but it could at least help to heal the bad parts." I say, twisting off the lid. My fingers dip down into the cream and skim off the top layer. "This may hurt." I warn him before I gently smooth the cream over his mangled flesh. His whole body tenses up and his torturous screams piercing the air. My hands tremble as I continue my work. He buries his head in his pillow to stifle his cries after he realizes the effect they are having on me.

"Almost done." I say in shaky voice. When I'm finished, I collapse beside him, pressing my face into the side of his neck. "I'm sorry." I repeat over and over, apologizing for the pain I caused him. He tells it's fine and that I did what needed to be done. We both take a few minutes to compose ourselves. I think about how much this will decrease his recovery time, maybe by a week or two.

"I want to know what happened." he says, breaking the silence.

"You should rest." I insist.

"All I have done is rest. I have a right to know. What happened after I passed out?" he asks me. I take a deep breath, hoping it will help me muster some courage.

"After you passed out, I ran to you…to protect you. I covered your body with mine so he couldn't give you any more lashings."

"You shouldn't have." he informs me in a stern voice.

"He wouldn't stop, Gale. If I hadn't stepped in he would have whipped you until you were dead." I say getting upset.

"Your mother said you were hurt. She wasn't just talking about your cheek was she?" I shake my head, knowing that it's better to be truthful in this situation.

"Show me." he mutters. I turn my back to him and pull my shirt up just enough to see the beginning of my bruise. This isn't enough to satisfy him. I feel his hand grab onto the fabric and lift it as high he can manage.

"Catnip." he whispers as his tear stained face presses into the back of my neck.

"It doesn't hurt." I lie to him. He pushed his fingers into my discolored flesh, producing a gut-wrenching cry from the back of my throat. "Ok, it hurts a lot."

I pull my shirt down and turn to face him.

"Merrick tried to help you too before I could get to you."

"What did he do?" he asks with curiosity.

"He told him to stop."

"Where did he get the audacity to think that he could stop the Head Peacekeeper from whipping me?" he asks as he adds an incredulous laugh.

"It was his father." I say, nearly chocking on words. In an instant, I can see the shock register on his face. The tears begin to flow from my cheeks. "I had no idea his father was the new Head Peacekeeper. He never told me…only that his father got promoted. If I had known, I never would have let you make that delivery." I babble as quickly as I can before he can shut me down.

"And how does he feel about all of this?"

"I don't know. I haven't talked to him yet. I just don't understand how someone so sweet could have a father like that." I whimper.

"What do you plan to do about him?"

"I don't know." I answer back because I haven't even begun to think about what this could mean for our relationship. Could I ever look at him without thinking about what his father did to my best friend?

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Gale murmurs. "One day, he'll grown up to be just the same as his father."

"No, he could never…" I trail off, not wanting to even consider that.

"He's a Peacekeeper Katniss. Or he will be one day."

"No, he doesn't want that." I say, shaking my head. I feel as if we've had this conversation before.

"I don't think he really has a choice in the matter, does he Katniss? It's what they all do. Just like I knew my fate was becoming a coalminer, he knows what his fate is. He'll join their ranks, you just wait."

"Maybe he could be different. Maybe he could help people."

"Peacekeepers don't help people, Katniss. They help themselves. I don't think I really need to list off examples."

"No, I know." We sit there quietly, not really sure what to say although I've made it clear that I'm done talking about Merrick's future.

"The pain's starting to come back." he says. I look at the clock, which now reads 2:00.

"I'll be right back." I say before leaving for the kitchen. I locate the box with morphling, knowing the snow coat wouldn't do now that he was lying in bed. I grab a few syringes from the counter and then return to Gale who is trying his best to hold himself together. I work quickly, filling the syringe up to the line my mother showed me before jabbing it into his arm. It's amazing how swiftly the medicine takes effect and I can see him slipping away.

"Stay here." he whispers, lacing his fingers with mine. I set the syringe on the nightstand and lay beside him. I'll stay at least until he falls asleep. He nods off rather quickly and I start to wonder about this drug from the Capitol. I wonder if can take away emotional pain as well as it does physical pain. I look over to the vial resting on the stand wondering what just a little bit with do. I know it's wrong but with everything that happened in the past few days, I feel like I need to be taken away from it all, just for a little. I find a new syringe and remove the cap to expose the needle. I then draw up about half of what I gave Gale before sticking myself in the arm. The cool liquid rushes into me and I feel immediate bliss. I hide the needle in the side table drawer and lay on my back, not feeling any pain from the bruising. This feeling is a familiar feeling, one I had in the Capitol hospital after the Games. Perhaps I've had this drug before, I just wasn't aware of what it was called. The room grows darker as my eyelids drooped down slowly, blocking out the world. I reach that place of pure happiness.

I wake up hours later. There is no sunlight peeking through the closed shade, indicating that it must now be nighttime. I wonder how late it is. I look over at the clock but it's too blurred to read.

"You've slept all day." Prim says, startling me as she turns on the light on the table next to the bed.

"I didn't sleep well last night." I lie to her.

"Dinner's ready. Mom told me to come get you."

"Can I eat in here? I don't want to leave him." I say stroking his arm. The truth is, I want to eat here because I don't think my legs could carry me to the kitchen without falling a few times.

"I'll see what mom says." Prim says before leaving the room. I lay back down, and wait. Prim returns with a tray with two bowls on it. "I brought one for Gale too." she comments. As soon as she leaves the room, I quickly consume the stew in my bowl, my hunger taking over. I then slop the liquid on the bottom with a piece of bread that was also on the tray. When I'm finished eating, I nudge Gale to wake him. It's been days since he's had anything to eat. He gazes up at me, his eyes still clouded from the medicine.

"Hungry?" I ask, to which his nods his head. I experiment to find a way for him to sit comfortably while I feed him. He decides the best way is to prop himself up on his forearm while laying on his side. It's an awkward angle and I try my best to keep the stew on the spoon. There are a few drips now and then but he doesn't seem to care.

"You're quiet." he says after swallowing a big bite.

"I don't really know what to say." I tell him. I'm not one for mindless chatter and he knows that.

"We should go hunting." he says out of the blue.

"Now?" I ask, flabbergasted.

"No, when I get better. I miss hunting with you." he says leaning against my shoulder. "I miss you all the time." I know he wouldn't be saying this without the morphling. Gale rarely shows his emotions, even to me.

"We'll go when you're better."

"I can only go on Sundays cuz of the mines." he says as if I didn't already know that.

"I know. I'm going to check your back and then you should get some rest."

"You'll stay?" he asks me. I'm not sure why all of a sudden he feels the need for me to stay with him.

"Ok." I say. I lay him down on his stomach and brighten the light in the room. It looks drastically better than it did this morning. The deep gashes were only a centimeter deep.

"How is it?" he asks.

"Much better." I softly tell him. I turn off his light and return to my side of the bed before turning mine off too. The room is dark except of the little sliver of light that peeks in from the hallway. I close my eyes and let the rest of the morphling running in me take me under.

When I wake up the morning I feel myself enveloped in the arms of another. I wish for it to be Merrick but I know it's not. He's not the person I fell asleep next to last night. My best friend is holding me close to him, taking care not to put too much pressure on my back. I don't think he suspects me being awake yet, which is good. I need to think about what I should say. I've never been this close to him ever in my life. Maybe when we are hunting but that is different.

I feel his arm hug my waist as he breathes me in. My muscles twitch when I feel his breath on my neck, giving up my cover. He lies next to me silently, perhaps too thinking of what to say.

"What does he have that I don't have?" he asks in a low voice. Before I can come up with a reply, he adds a, "nevermind." He doesn't have to say it. I know what he is thinking. _Money._

"You know that doesn't matter to me."

"But it doesn't hurt." he adds.

"Gale, I love him." I say. He doesn't even acknowledge my last statement, instead choosing to say something totally unrelated.

"People always thought we would end up together, eventually. I'd hear them talking about us in the Hob, or when we walked together in the Seam. I thought it would happen too." I turn around to face him, feeling awkward having such a serious conversation with my back turned towards him.

"It would never work."

"You've never given me a chance."

"Yes I did. I let you kiss me in the woods and I felt nothing."

"Because you just stood there."

"I was in shock."

"So kiss me now." he mutters.

"Why?"

"To see if you feel anything." he says. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. How could I feel something for him? He's my best friend. He then follows up his last remark. "Just one kiss and I'll never bring it up again."

It seems like a good deal. One short kiss and I'll never have to hear him tell me he loves me or things like that. I tell him okay and move my mouth closer to his, closing my eyes once I reach my target. Our lips move together in a slow rhythm. I don't know what I was so worried about. It's just a kiss, lips touching lips. It means noth—.

Before I can finish that thought, something very strange and unexpected happens. My heart seems to skip a beat, creating a rush of electricity through my body. I slowly pull away from him, stopping myself from feeling anything more. His eyes are still closed and his mouth hovers closer to mine, obviously wanting more. I gently rub his chest, letting him know that it's over. His eyes look into mine, silently asking me if I felt anything. I shake my head. I feel bad lying to him but I can't let him know that he had an effect of me. He lies on his stomach and faces away from me. I can't tell if he's more upset or embarrassed. I doubt this has ever happened to him before. I am probably the first girl in all of District 12 to refuse Gale Hawthorne.

"I'd like to be alone now." he says with a wavering voice.

"Gale." I whisper, lightly touching his shoulder.

"Just go, Katniss." he tells me. I don't say anything more. I remove myself from the bed and walk to the door, closing it quietly once I exit. I pass my mother as I walk away. She asks me what's wrong but I ignore her. As I travel to the front of the house, I walk past the staircase and open the door instead. The cold air hits me, almost taking my breath away. Once I'm off my porch, I can feel the wind blow through my clothes, prickling my skin. I don't turn back for a jacket; I continue forward to my destination. Warm tears flow down my cheeks, which turn to icy streams. Why did this have to happen?

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**Don't forget to review! ;) I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter or any predictions about what will happen next.**

**Also, expect more frequent updates now that it is summer!**


	22. Chapter 22

**New chapter! Hope you like this one!**

** Tamara Melton- I just started a new Galeniss story called Into the Great Unknown. Check it out!**

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Chapter 22

When I reach Peeta's door, I knock three times while desperately hoping he's here. After a minute of no response, I knock again, this time louder. Another minute goes by, but this time, he does answer.

"Katniss, what are you doing without a coat? It freezing!" he says bringing me inside. Once inside he touches my cheek, probably to see how cold I am.

"Have you been crying?" he asks with concern as finger brushes across my wet cheek. I nod. He takes me to the living room. I sit down and watch him walk across the room, unsure of where he is going. He locates a blanket and then returns, wrapping it around me. Then, he takes a seat next to me.

"What is it?" he asks in a low voice. I don't respond. I'm not sure I want to tell anyone about this.

"I don't want to talk about it…now right now at least." I say as I play with the fringe on the blanket. Peeta doesn't press me for any more information. Instead he asks if I've eaten breakfast. Upon hearing that I haven't, he stands up and walks into the kitchen. He returns with a plate of muffins and two cups a coffee. I decide to concentrate on eating instead of anything else, thinking this might help. When I look at Peeta, I realize I must not be doing a great job, because he's looking at me with worry. I take a deep breath and then begin to tell him everything that has happened between Gale and I, leaving out the part that I felt something when Gale kissed me. He sits there listening to me without interrupting which I am thankful for. Sometimes it's nice to have someone to listen to your problems.

"He'll get over it." he tells me.

"We can't be friends though…not after that." I say, shaking my head.

"You'd be surprised. Just give it some time." he suggests.

Once we are finished eating, he takes me by the hand and leads me to the media room, telling me that movies are a good distraction. We sit together in an oversized recliner that easily fits the two of us. He scrolls through the menu to find something to watch while I lay the blanket I had wrapped around me over the both of us. He starts the movie and then dims the lights with the same remote. It's an old movie, probably from a hundred years ago.

As we watch, I think of Peeta, sitting in this dark room, alone, during the past few weeks. For him, this is his only escape. Part of it is my fault. I told him I'd visit but with everything that has happened the past few weeks, I have neglected him. I turn on my side to face him but he remains facing towards the screen.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here for you." I murmur in his ear. He hits the pause button and turns his head in my direction.

"You know you won't be able to know what's happening if you don't pay attention." he says with a small smile.

"I should have been here for you." I say repeating myself, in case he wasn't listening the first time.

"Katniss, it's fine. You had a lot going on…and besides, you are here now." he says.

_'Yeah, because I have nowhere else to go._' I think to myself. I snuggle up to my fake fiancé and turn towards the screen as he resumes the movie.

* * *

I wake up in a bed underneath sheets and a comforter. My only guess as to how I got here was because I nodded off during the film and Peeta carried me here. I stay in bed for a little while longer, not wanting to leave the comfort of the luxe bedding. I eventually remove myself and go in search of Peeta. I find him in the kitchen, beginning to cook something. I can't help but notice the grimace on his face as he limps around the kitchen, his prosthetic clearly bothering him.

At one point, he leans his head on the refrigerator door and takes a few deep breaths. I walk up to him and take his hand, leading him to the living room. I sit in the middle of the couch and tell him to lie down. Luckily he doesn't put up a fight. Once his legs are in my lap, I push up the bottom on his sweatpants past where his prosthetic meets his leg. I've seen him take it off enough to know how to remove it. I carefully release the limb from him and rest it next to me. The abrasions on his skin let me know that his prosthetic isn't fitting him properly.

"How often does it bother you?" I ask him.

"All the time." he tells him.

"Does Haymitch know?"

"Why should he know?" he asks me with confusion.

"He could call the Capitol. Maybe they would send a specialist to check up on you." I tell him. As far as I know, he hasn't had any sort of follow-up since he got the thing.

"They are not going to send anyone out here Katniss." he says cynically.

"Maybe my mom could look at it." I say quietly. She's had to have dealt with this before, with all the mining accidents that have occurred.

"You think she'd know what to do?" he asks with interest.

"You can't be the first person to have lost a limb in District 12." I tell him as I scoot out from under his legs. I walk into the kitchen and pick up the phone, dialing my home phone number. My mother answers after a couple of ring and I explain Peeta's predicament.

While she has me on the phone she asks me to update her on Gale, including what medication I gave him. She also tells me that he's in a lot of pain and that he can't seem to stop crying even after the morphling has been administered. If only she knew that it was emotional pain that was afflicting him. I ask her to have Prim watch him while she's gone. Maybe my little sister will be able to calm him down.

A few minutes later, I hear a knock on the door and find my mother behind it with her medical bag. I bring her to the living room where Peeta is patiently waiting. She sits on the edge of the couch and inspects his leg. I notice the discomfort on his face as my mother checks his leg. I know he doesn't like it when any attention is drawn to it. I kneel on the floor beside him and take his hand. He winces as her hand grazes over his abrasions. She then asks him a string of questions: Does he massage it, is he regularly checking on it, does he wrap it, all to which he answers 'no'. My mother then takes time to explain the importance of doing all of these things.

She then tells us that she's going to go into the kitchen to make a salve for him to use on his cuts and tells me to massage his stump while she does this. I catch up to her just before she reaches the kitchen.

"Can't you do it?" I ask.

"I can't do everything, Katniss. Besides, I think he'd like it better if you did it." she said with a warm smile. At first I'm not sure what she means but quickly remember that my mother still is not aware that our engagement isn't real. I walk back to Peeta and place his leg in my lap as I begin to massage him, taking care to avoid his wounds. He closes his eyes and lets out a moan as my hands press into his tissue.

"Good?" I ask, making sure I'm not hurting him.

"Yes." he says, his eyes making contact with mine. He places an arm behind his head and relaxes as I continue my work. I don't stop until my mother returns with a jarful of salve. I move over so she can sit next to him to spread if over his wounds. She instructs him to use it 2 times a day. She then locates a reusable bandage from her bag and shows him how to wrap his leg. I watch carefully in case he forgets out to do so. She also recommends that he wears his prosthetic as little as he can in the next week. Peeta thanks her before I walk her to the door.

"You might want to stay here tonight…make sure he's doing ok." my mother says. I nod my head and thank her before closing the door. I return to Peeta who is stretched out on couch. I sit on the floor near his head returning the smile he is giving me.

"Thank you." he says with gratitude.

"I'm glad I could help." I say in reply. In the silence that follows, I can hear his stomach growl.

"Hungry?" I ask, resting my chin on the couch cushion.

"Yeah." he says. I look at the clock and see that it's nearly dinnertime. I then stand up and tell him I'll find something to make. I scan the contents of his pantry and refrigerator to assess the ingredients I have to work with. I'm not much of a cook. When I lived in the Seam, I did the hunting and my mother did the cooking. I never had the time or need to learn. I decide to keep it simple and make each one of us a sandwich using bread Peeta baked while I was sleeping. I also grab each of us a piece of fruit from the fruit bowl on the center island.

I return with a tray of food and help Peeta scoot up and around so that he is now sitting. I apologize to him as I hand him his plate, explaining my lack of cooking skills.

"It looks delicious." he says with a smile. We watch television as we eat our dinner. As I am watching, I notice an alert scrolling on the bottom of the screen, reminding viewer that the Quarter Quell card will be read tomorrow night and that it is required viewing.

"Did you know?" I ask him.

"Yeah, Haymitch told me the other day." Peeta said. He then explained to me what happens during the reading of the card and then tells me what the last two cards said. I remember Haymitch told us he was in the last Quell, where they doubled the number of tributes in the Arena.

"What do you think the card will say this year?" I ask.

"I'm not sure." he says. "I've tried not to think about it."

"I don't want to be a mentor." I confide in him.

"I don't really think you have a choice." he replies.

"I know. What good can we really do Peeta? We barely made it out of the Arena alive. How are we supposed to help two other tributes from hundreds of miles away?" I ask with worry.

"Haymitch is going to start coaching us, teaching us how to be the perfect mentors."

"That'll be interesting." I puff.

"Come on, he knows what he's doing. I think he's always known what to do, he just didn't give a shit until we showed up." he says. I smile when I hear Peeta use a curse word; it's so unexpected of him. "This whole being in love thing was his idea. I think he had been saving it, waiting for the right pair to use it on."

"Why do you think he decided to use it on us?"

"Because we are fighters. He knew how determined we were to make it back."

"Yeah, well look where his plan got us." I say with annoyance.

"We're both alive."

"And living a lie."

"It's better than being dead." he tells me and I know he's right. "If I could set you free, I would. I would get rid of this ring that means absolutely nothing to you and let you be with whomever you wanted."

"I know." I say. I see Peeta yawn and suggest we turn in for the night. He looks a little surprised that I'm staying with him. I help him to the guest room, thankful he isn't too proud for me to help him. On our way he informs me that he has been sleeping on the ground floor since the stairs were too much for him to handle. I lead him to the bathroom that is connected to the room and let him do what he needs. While he is doing that, I walk upstairs to his room and pack a suitcase full of his clothes so he'll have fresh clothes to wear.

When I return to his room, he is already sitting on the bed waiting for me. I hoist the suitcase onto the bed and show him what I've brought him. He thanks me and then picks something out to wear to bed. While he changes, I unpack the rest of the contents into the dresser. When I am finished, I lay and bed and reach for the light.

"No…don't." he warns me. I turn to him, silently asking him why. "I don't like to sleep in the dark. I still have nightmares…bad ones. At least when I wake up to the light on, I know exactly where I am." he explains. I leave the light alone and lay next to him.

"I still have nightmares too." I confide in him.

"About what?".

"Sometimes about the Careers. Sometimes about losing you." I whisper.

"Don't worry. I'm right here." he says, interlocking his fingers with mine. We close our eyes and hope that tonight will bring a peaceful sleep.

* * *

I wake up the next morning nearly as exhausted as I had been the night before. Last night had proved difficult for us, as Peeta and I consistently woke each other up for the nightmares we had been experiencing. It helped having someone there that knew exactly how it felt to be in the Arena.

After eating breakfast with Peeta, I return home wearing a coat that Peeta let me borrow. I enter my house and hang the coat on the banister before walking further inside. I almost enter the kitchen but stop when I see Gale sitting with his back towards me talking in a hushed voice to my mother. I'm not ready to see him yet so I keep walking. At the end of the hallways, I see Prim peeking out through the curtain that is covering the window of the back door. My curiosity leads me to her, wondering what she could be looking at.

"What are you looking at?" I ask.

"That boy is back." she said.

"What boy?" I ask as I look through a sliver of space between the curtains. It's Merrick, sitting on the top step of the back porch.

"He's been coming here a lot. He'll sit there for hours, just waiting for something I guess. He knocks sometimes, very quietly." she explains.

"Have you ever answered it?" I ask.

"No, I don't really know him, Katniss." she tells me.

"Why didn't you get me?"

"You were busy taking care of Gale." she replies. I tell Prim to go do something else. I wait until she is gone before I open the door. I quietly make my way to him and sit beside him, taking his hand in mine.

"I thought you might have chosen him." Merrick says, avoiding eye contact.

"No, he's just a friend. You know that."

"Things can change. We used to be friends." he says making a good point. "Katniss, I'm sorry, I really am." he whispers in my ear. "You're right I should have told you about my father. To be honest, I didn't really think it mattered."

"I know." I say, finally looking at him. His eyes are red and the areas under his eyes are chapped, probably from crying.

"Aren't you cold?" he asks playing with thin fabric of my shirt.

"I don't mind." I reply. To be honest I was more worried about our exchange than I was about the chilly weather. Merrick unzips his coat, then pulls me close to him, wrapping the coat around my body. I rest my head on his chest, his warmth radiating into me as we melt into each other. He brings his gloved hand to my cheek providing me with even more warmth. I've missed him and his gentle touch so I savor it while I still have him.

"Katniss, you awake?" he inquires. My closed eyes and lack of movement could easily look like I'm sleeping.

"Yes, I'm here." I respond, slowly rubbing my hand in circles on his chest.

"I have to leave soon to meet with my tutor." he says.

"Skip it." I coax him.

"I can't." he says with disappointment in his voice. I can tell that he doesn't want to leave me.

"Then come back this evening." I suggest.

"I can't. Required viewing, remember?" he tells me. His parents will probably want him home for that to make sure he watches.

"After that?" I ask.

"Tomorrow." he suggests.

"_Tomorrow_?" I huff back at him.

"You can wait until tomorrow." he says with a laugh. I tilt my head up to him.

"I don't think I can." I admit. A smirk appears on his face as he lowers his face to mine. His lips connect with mine as he draws out his kisses, each one long than the last. My heart beats wildly in my chest in response as my lips mingle with his. He ends it long before I'm ready to. I could kiss him for the rest of the day to make up for all the lost kisses we've had over the past week. He removes me from my cocoon and zips his coat, exposing my body to the cool air around us. We stand and he takes my hand, leading me to door. Not ready for him to go just yet, I clutch onto the fabric of his coat and pull him towards me for one more kiss. He braces my hips with his hands and pulls my body close to his.

"You are way too tempting." he mutters against my lips. My lips pull upward in a smile.

"Come inside. You know you want to." I tease him, sucking softly on his bottom lip, eliciting a low moan.

"If I go in there, I don't think I'll want to leave." he says kissing my lips. I put my hand on the doorknob, thinking the warm air from inside might add to the invitation. I swing the door open wide, letting a gust of heat hit our faces, but what I don't expect is that gasp that comes along with it. I pry myself from Merrick's lips and look towards the noise to see Prim standing there motionless, having seen the whole thing. Merrick increases the space once he sees my sister and mutters something about having to go. I take a deep breath and slowly trudge inside not looking forward to the conversation that will follow.

* * *

**Merrick is back and Prim knows about Katniss and him. Thoughts? Predictions?**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

When I reach Prim, I take her by the arm and pull her into the corner of our empty living room.

"Katniss." she says in distress.

"Prim you don't understand." I start but she cuts me off.

"How could you do that to Peeta?" she asks with tears in her eyes.

"Prim—."

"I have to tell him." she said.

"Prim, it's not real!" I say, bracing her shoulders to steady her.

"But he loves you…and you love him. I saw you together."

"You need to listen. It was a set up to get sponsors in the game. Haymitch arranged it all."

"But I've seen the way he looks at you. He loves you."

"Yeah, he's a good actor. Listen you can't tell anyone about this, ok? Not mom, not your friends. No one can know about us. Do you understand?" She nods her head in response.

"Who is that boy?" she asks.

"You've met him before last summer. Remember, he took me on a date. I wore that red dress." I say.

"Yes. So he's your boyfriend?" she asked still confused.

"Yes, he is."

Our mother, who has been looking for Prim, interrupts our conversation. She mentions something about wanting to make her rounds to the injured miners' house before the snow starts to fall.

"But what about Gale?" I ask in a panic.

"You'll have to watch him." she states.

"No I can't!" I exclaim. I'm still not ready to be alone with him.

"Stop being selfish, Katniss." my mother barks at me. She's still unaware of the exchange Gale and I have had…or at least she doesn't let onto it.

"Fine!" I shout, stomping away from her. I go to the guestroom, where Gale is propped up on his side, reading a get well soon card made by Posy with large hearts drawn on the front. I sit in a chair by the bed, not speaking a word. I just take in the large smile he has on his face. Curious to see what has him smiling, I move next to him, looking over his shoulder. Posy has written him something, which I am having a hard time reading. He seems to understand it. There is also a drawing of him laying in bed with a thermometer in his mouth. Hazelle obviously left out details about what happened.

"Looks just like you." I joke, trying to keep the mood light.

"Nose is a little big." he says raising a brow.

"Looks just like you." I repeat, teasing him. It's not 2 seconds later that he's pinning me to the mattress, telling me to take it back. We're instantly quiet, looking back at each other, the tension palpable in the air. This would have been totally innocent a few days ago, before we shared that kiss. I scoot out from under him to prevent anything from happening. He doesn't put up a fight.

"You're moving well." I say, trying to establish some sort of balance.

"The medicine helped." he says.

"Yeah, good."

"Katniss, you don't have to stay here. I'll be fine." he tells me which leads me to wonder if he heard my exchange with my mother before she left. I'm not sure if he really means it or if he's testing me to see what I will do. "Katniss, really. If I need you, I'll call for you." he adds. I nod and then quickly exit the room.

I decide to make myself useful and head to the kitchen to start dinner for the night. After yesterday's pathetic offering of sandwiches to Peeta, I reconcile that the sooner I learn to cook, the better. After looking through the pantry and fridge to see what I have to work with, I sit down at the table with a recipe book to find something that won't be too difficult to make. I settle on a casserole that consists of layering a few ingredients, then baking it.

I begin my work, humming along as I go along. It's pretty straightforward, boil some noodles, sauté some meat, then layer them with sauce and cheese. After the pan of food is in the oven, I go to the guest room to check on Gale. I find him in bed fast asleep. As I watch him, I can't help but think of that kiss. Even just thinking about it is enough for my body to respond, recreating the reaction I felt when his lips were on mine. I'm still not sure how I could have felt that way. He had been my friend for all those years. We'd hunt together and find ourselves in close proximity. I never felt even the slightest twinge. Why is it happening now?

I then start to think that maybe this has nothing to do with him. Perhaps those feelings were a result of some sort of physical need that wasn't being fulfilled. After all, at the time I wanted Merrick and had no way to keep myself satisfied. I stand up and leave the room, choosing to believe this theory. I only felt something for Gale because of my need for Merrick. It had nothing to do with Gale at all. He was a placeholder, really, as horrible as it sounds.

I decide on watching television to pass the time. On the screen are Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, near the beginning of their commentary. It's hours until the reading of the card, but the Capitol likes to draw out these events. After all, this is entertaining to them. They are currently talking about the mentors for the Quell in sequential order by district. When they reach our district, the two men seem even more interested. They refer to us as the star-crossed lovers, which is ironic since there is nothing keeping us apart. In fact it's quite the opposite. They talk with eagerness when discussing how they think we'll do as mentors. Caesar seems to think we will do great but then again he's pretty optimistic.

After discussing mentors, they make their own speculations about the Quell card before taking calls from the Capitol citizens to get their predictions. Some people think the pool of potential tributes will be widened to any citizen living in the district, others think that the number of tributes per district will be even greater then the last Quarter Quell. One woman that calls in suggests that they'll reap family members of the victors for the Quell. My heart drops when I hear this when I think about how that could actually be written on the card. The woman then goes on to say how interesting it would be to have my little sister in the Games to see how she would fare with me as her mentor. Anger boils insides of me when I hear how casually she speaks about all of this. A let out a shout as I throw the pillow I had been clutching onto at the screen. I escape from the living room taking long strides as I wipe away my tears. If they reap Prim, I don't know what I will do. There is no way she'd survive the Games, even with me looking out for her.

I wait in the kitchen for the timer to go off. While I wait, I try to calm myself, taking deep breaths in and out to steady my racing heart. Fifteen minutes later, the timer beeps. I remove the pan from the oven, setting it on the stove to let it cool. After waiting a few minutes, I cut a small piece and put it on a plate, wanting to test it to make sure it's actually edible. When I take that first bite, I am surprised to find that it actually tastes good. I only hope everyone else agrees. I cut two large squares and put them into containers to take to Peeta. With his orders from my mother to go easy on his leg, I doubt he'll be cooking and baking like he usually does. I check on Gale once more before leaving my house, grabbing Peeta's coat from the railing to return to him.

I knock a few times on his door before letting myself in.

"It's me!" I shout as I walk further into his house, into his living room where he is relaxing on the couch. He looks happy to see me even though I had only just saw him this morning. I sit beside him and tell him I have a surprise for him. He looks intrigued and asks me what I have brought after noticing my bag.

"Dinner." I say with a smile.

"Sandwiches?" he asks with a smirk. I give him an stern look for his snide comment.

"I worked very hard on this." I tell him, reaching for a container. I open the lid and let the aroma waft through the air toward him.

"Smells good." he says. I take a fork from my bag and use it to cut through a small section before loading it onto the utensil.

"Be honest." I say as hold it in front of his mouth.

"Okay." he replies before eating from the fork. A few seconds later, I hear him letting out an approving 'Mmm' to let me know what his thinks.

"Good?" I ask just to make sure.

"Very good. You make this on your own?" he asks, grabbing the container and fork from me. He cuts off another section and takes a bite.

"Yes." I say, quite proud of myself. "There's some for tomorrow too." I tell him as I remove the other container from the bag. I leave temporarily to place the container in the fridge and return to find him still eating.

"You might want to slow down there." I tease, sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Mmn-hmm." he says shaking his head as he chews his food. I then realize that this is probably the first meal that someone has cooked for him in a while, which saddens me. I hate the fact the he lives in this big house all by himself. I should really do this for him more often.

"I'm glad you like it." I tell him with a smile. While he is finishing his meal, I apply more medicine to his leg and wrap it again, the way my mother showed me. He hands me the empty container, which I place back in my bag and he stretches out on the couch. He pats the space next to him, indicating he wants me near him. I lay on my side, facing him.

"Thank you." he says pulling me closer for a hug.

"For dinner?" I ask.

"For taking care of me." he clarifies. I can see the gratitude in his expression as he looks at me. "You're the one person that never gives up on me."

"You'd do the same for me."

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." he then says getting sentimental.

"Peeta…" I sigh.

"Katniss it's true, and I don't think I've even thanked you for it after all this time. Despite my leg and my family and our situation, I'm glad I'm still here." he says.

"I'm glad you're here too." I murmur. I could not imagine what life would be like without him here. While there are no romantic attachments involved between us, I care for him so much. He was my district partner, the only person there for me during the most terrifying time in my life. He gave me a purpose to keep going in the Arena, wanting to make sure that one of us made it back to District 12. I hold him tighter in our embrace before letting go.

"You're going to be a great mentor." he whispers. This time, I don't cut down his remarks; I smile, taking the compliment.

"We'll both be great, together." I tell him which causes him to smile back.

I tell him that I have to get back, that I'm supposed to be looking after Gale while my mother is away. He asks me to come to back tomorrow to talk about whatever the outcome of the reading of the card will be. I agree to it and am then on my way. I manage to make it back a few minutes before Prim and my mother return, lucky they didn't find Gale left unattended. As they enter the kitchen, I am setting four places at the table for dinner. Both look impressed that I have dinner ready. They know I've never cooked before. I ask Prim to get Gale while I continue my preparations.

"Something smells good." I hear Gale say as he enters the room. He is wearing a shirt for the first time in over a week, now that his back is healing.

"Katniss made dinner." my mother says with raised brows.

"Oh really?" he says with the same expression as he takes a seat. I know they are surprised but really? I'm almost 17 and it's not like I'm totally incompetent. I slap him on the arm, letting him know my annoyance.

"Ouch, Catnip." he says rubbing his arm as I glare back at him. "What was that for?"

"You know why." I respond before sitting down in my own seat.

"Katniss." my mother says in a disapproving tone. "That's not how we treat guests."

"He's the one undermining my abilities. And he's not a guest, he like my brother." I say, adding that cutting remark to throw salt in the wound. He doesn't like it and shows it by standing up from his seat and leaving the room. My mother shakes her head at me before following him. It's their fault, not mine, for teasing me like that. I almost forget that Prim is still in the room until I hear her ask if we can start without them. I'm surprised that she'd ask something like that. She's so polite. I can tell that she's interested in trying my creation. I say yes and we both start eating. It makes me smile when she sees how much she is enjoying it. As we eat, the two of us talk and I must say it's nice to have a conversation, just the two of us. It's been a long time since this has happened.

My mother and Gale return just as we are finishing our meal. His eyes are red and puffy and my mother is rubbing his shoulder. I feel a wrenching in my stomach. I just wanted to put him in his place, not make him cry. My mother gives me a look and I know that she knows everything that's happened between us: that he confessed his love for me, that I refused him, that we kissed. Before Gale can sit back down, I take his hand and lead him out of the room, to the staircase where we have a seat.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I apologize.

"Then why did you say it?" he asked with hurt in his eyes.

"Because I knew it would make you mad." I mutter. "You were making fun of me."

"I was not." he insists.

"You implied that I couldn't cook."

"Because I've never seen you cook a day in our life! Sorry if I was a little surprised." Gale says with a raised voice.

"Just don't do it again." I say descending the two stairs in front of me. I'm done fight about it.

"I told your mom about us…about how I feel about you." he corrects himself. I turn around and stand in front of him.

"What did she have to say?" I asked feeling a little fearful about her reply.

"She listened mostly. Katniss, I don't understand why I'm not good enough for you."

"Gale, it has nothing to do with that." I say pressing my forehead against his. "There's nothing wrong with you." I whisper.

"Then why can't you love me?" he asks. We both stay silent as I try to find the words. The truth is I feel something. I don't know if it's love but it's definitely some sort of affection for him. He breaths in slow, controlled breaths, trying to keep himself balanced. Our faces are so close that I can feel his breath on my lips, warming then with each exhale. I feel drawn to them, like ship is to a lighthouse during a perilous storm. I place my hands on his shoulders to steady myself from dizzying effect that's taking over me. He must notice I need some help because he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer. A moment later he speaks.

"I wish I could go back and erase it all, the kiss in the woods, telling you I loved you in the cabin, that kiss we shared in the guest room." he said sniffling through his tears. "I hate what we've become….whatever this is. I just felt that way for so long, I couldn't keep it inside any longer."

"How long?" I murmur.

"About two years. I tried to keep it inside. When I saw you kissing him, I was jealous. I wanted to make you feel like that. I thought once he left, I might have a chance but I could tell you still felt things for him. I waited for longer, hoping for the right opportunity. After almost losing you in the Games, I knew I wanted to at least tell you how I really felt…it took me a while but I did it."

"Gale you could have any girl in District 12." I say, still unsure about why he's so wrapped up in me. There are tons of girls that are better than me, prettier than me.

"Not any girl."

"Gale." I whisper, wrapping my arms around the top of his shoulders hugging his body against mine, hoping to comfort him. I really don't want to cause him any pain. I don't want him to suffer from heartache. I want him to be happy, just like any other friend would. I feel him nuzzle his face into my neck and jump when I feel his mouth make contact with the skin on my neck. I stifle the moan that's begging to be released from inside of me as his lips press hot kisses onto my delicate skin. I push him away, fearful of what could happen if I don't stop him soon.

"You can't do things like that." I say with a wavering voice. "I have a boyfriend."

"You're back together?" he asks.

"He stopped by yesterday."

"Congratulations." he sputters as he moves around me. I watch him walk down the hallway, slamming the door to guest room after he enters. I sit back on the stairs and lean against the railing, tears falling onto the stairs below me. Peeta was wrong. There was no going back now. My friendship with Gale Hawthorne is officially over.

* * *

**I'm sure all the Galeniss fans are shouting out a long "Noooooooo" after reading this chapter. Don't worry, Gale isn't out the picture just yet. Next chapter will have the reading of the card and reactions from Katniss, Merrick, Gale, and others. Will I keep it the same as in the book? You'll just have to wait and find out ;)**

**Also, don't forgot to take a minute to review! I love hearing what my readers have to say whether it's a scene they liked (or didn't like) or about my writing style. I want my writing to be the best it can be! Suggestions are also welcomed :)**

**P.S. This fanfic will be updated on a weekly basis. I will be alternating between updating chapters from this story and my other story, Into the Great Unknown. If you get bored between updates for this story, check out my other stories!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Been a while since I've updated this one! Here you go!**

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Chapter 24

It isn't long before I'm back in the same room as Gale being forced to watch the reading of the card. I can feel the tension in the air as we sit on opposite sides of the room. I keep my eyes glued to the television but I can feel his eyes on me. I won't give him the satisfaction of returning his stare. I turn the volume up to tune out my thinking. I must have gone too far because Prim is complaining about the volume and her ears. I turn it back down and my thoughts return. Thoughts about Gale. I know what he's thinking. He's wondering how I could ever be with someone whose father could almost beat him to death. I can him hear in my head shouting that very question at me. He might even go as far to say that he'd do the same, like it's some sort of genetic marker.

I finally regain focus when I see President Snow behind a podium giving a speech about the Dark Days and the explanation of what the Quarter Quell signifies. He recounts the past two Quells and the special way they selected the tributes. Both sound horrible and I can only image what the card will read for this year.

A little boy then brings him a box from off stage and hand it to him. Inside are envelopes that have yellowed from time. He holds up the envelope with the number 75 written neatly on the front for all to see before removing the slip of paper from inside.

"_On the 75__th__ anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors." _he reads.

I try to absorb what I just heard but the shrieks and cries coming from my mother and sister are all that I can hear. The words he just read are emblazoned on the screen in bold lettering. I read it again and my heart stops. I finally realize what this means. I am going back.

Before I know it, I am upright and I'm running away from the room, out the back door. My boots sink deep into the foot of snow that has already accumulated. A sea of snowflake dance around me in the wind but I don't let them keep me from reaching my destination. I run until I reach the fence. I fall backwards when I hear the buzz reverberating through the metal wire. He turned it on. Snow must have known I'd run. Damn him. I turn around walk away, however I am not ready to return home yet. I'm not ready to face the others. Instead I run to my tree in the Seam, the second most comforting place for me, apart from the woods. I sink down to ground and lean my back against its trunk before crying into my knees. I have to go back into the Arena. Back to killing and fighting to survive…unless I don't survive. I could always sacrifice myself for Haymitch or Peeta, so one of them will make it out. Something inside me tells me that Peeta will be my district partner again. I doubt he would let Haymitch volunteer for him and he would volunteer for Haymitch in a second, if only to make sure I make it out alive. I remind myself to have a chat with him about that.

I'm broken from my thoughts when I hear footsteps running towards me. I tuck my face into my thighs, hoping that my dark hair and clothing will help me to camouflage with the tree bark. I hear a sliding sound and then a pair of arms wrap around me.

"Don't touch me!" I say, swatting at the mystery person. Perhaps it's a Peacekeeper, coming to collect me to make sure I will not flee. I wouldn't be surprised if all the victors aren't being rounded up for the same reason. The person doesn't heed my warning and now has me sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped around me.

"Katniss." a shaky voice whispers with grief. I look up to find my thought to be assailant is really Merrick.

"Merrick." I respond, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face into his scarf. "I—I—"

"I know." he murmurs softly. I can tell he is crushed by the news that I'll be returning to the Games. I'm about to ask him if he thinks I can make it out alive when he starts to talk. "I'll train you…make you as good as the Careers…no, better than the Careers." he says with vigor.

"Merrick." I whisper.

"You have to make it out. You understand me?" he says with fire in his eyes.

"I don't—"

"No." he says, preventing me from saying the negative comment that was about to follow. "You're strong, you're smart, I love you, and there is no way I'm going to lose you. Not in there of all places."

"Merrick, I'm scared." I whisper softly, exposing my vulnerability to him. I feel his lips on mine, warming my own as they sweep against me. I place my hand behind his neck to prevent him from stopping it anytime soon. As tragic as this situation is, this is thing I need most. I need this feeling of love and passion circulating deep within me, to make me feel that I'm not alone. I need to forget about everything right now and just concentrate of him and me. His hands start a trail from my cheeks to my neck, down my shoulders and arms until they rest securely on my waist. His lips break from mine.

"Where's your coat?"

"Oh, I'm not wearing one." I realize as I tug on my damp sweater.

"That's been happening a lot."

"Not on my list priorities."

"Come on. Let's get you home and out of these wet clothes." he says, pulling me off the ground. We walk quietly, hand in hand, as we take the back way to my house. He leads me up the back and opens the door without a knock. He pokes his head into the living room, telling my family he found me and then leads me upstairs to my room. I stand at the foot of my bed, frozen as my body acclimates to the inside temperature. He doesn't waste any time peeling the layers of clothing from my body until I'm down to my bra and underwear. I clench my arms across my body as the shivering takes over. He leaves my side, digging through my drawer for something for me to slip on. The dimness in the room and his unfamiliarity of my dresser drawers provide a challenge for him. I slip past him, getting between the dresser and him.

"I can dress myself." I say, snaking my arms behind his neck. A smile flashes across his face and quickly disappears. I look up at him but his stare is in the mirror behind me. I look over my shoulder to see what all the commotion is about and quickly discover why he looks so frightened. He's staring at the bruises on my back.

"How did you get these?" he asks but the angry tears in his eyes are a giveaway that he already knows. I don't speak. Saying it out loud isn't going to change anything. He then asks me to turn around, which I do. I can feel my body tremble, not sure if it's from the lack of clothing on my body or the fact that he's taking in the patches of color on my back.

"Fuck." he says through sniffles as he presses his face into my neck. It's only the second time I've ever heard him cuss in his life. I turn back around and plant soft kisses on his lips to alleviate the pain. He returns the kisses at first but then his lips are quivering so profusely that he can't match my rhythm. It isn't long before he stops trying.

"Tell me what you are thinking." I say as I rub his shoulders.

"I'm thinking about how a man should never strike a woman." he says with a somber expression.

"I guess some men aren't taught that." I tell him. It's not an excuse by any means but it is true.

"Who do you think taught me that?" he says with exasperation. He takes a calming breath before speaking again. "It makes me wonder what else he does when I'm not around."

I can only imagine what is going through his mind right now. He's probably second guessing every piece of advice his father ever told him, wondering if his father lives by his own words.

I slip away from him to remove my undergarments and change into a pair of pajamas. I then take his hand and lead him to my bed and remove his coat before climbing in bed. He stays in place not moving a muscle. I pat the spot next to me to indicate that I want him to join me.

"I can't stay the night." he says.

"Just for a little, then." I reply tugging on his arm. He slips his shoes off and then joins me, lying close to my body. His hand caresses my hip but this touch is not sufficient for me.

"Merrick hold me." I murmur.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You had no problem holding me when we were at our tree."

"That was before I knew."

"Merrick please." I beg quietly. He wraps his arm around me, avoiding the areas that were badly bruised. I bury my face into his chest and begin to cry as my mind wanders back to news announced from the Capitol tonight.

"Katniss." he whispers loosening his hold on me.

"I don't want to go back." I whimper. He lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me with more passion than I've ever felt from him before. He ends the kiss sooner than I would like, suggesting I get some rest. I nestle up to him and close my eyes, grateful to have him here beside me.

When I wake the next morning, I find myself in a different set of arms than the ones that held me last night. I wonder if he's been here all night, taking the place of Merrick after he left or if he slipped in during the early hours of the morning. Either way, Gale is here, his body entwined with mine. I'm unsure what I should do next. He's too light of a sleeper for me to get away without being detected.

Instead, I lie there studying his features. Exhaustion and worry are written on his face, even with his eyes closed. He might have been up for the better part of the night, thinking about my fate and trying to find a way to save me. I finally decide to break away from him to use the restroom. My sudden movement rouses him and I find him clutching onto my arms.

"I'll be right back." I say lowering my lips to his forehead, a gesture that I realize might be a little too romantic. It's too late to take it back now. His body relaxes, melting back into the mattress as he releases his grip. I leave for a few minutes and return to find him in the same state I left him, that happy medium between sleep and awake. His senses seem to heighten when he feels me sink into bed, bringing him back to the present.

"Catnip." he sighs.

"I know." I say because I'm not ready for the long speech he has planned out about how he knows I can win the Quell. I already heard it last night from a different boy and am not willing to hear it again.

"Let's run away." he whispers to me, enveloping me in his arms. I'm not sure if he's serious or he's still half asleep.

"Run away?" I repeat.

"We could do it. I've always said we could." he says briefly kissing my jaw, sending a bolt of electricity through my body.

"They turned the fences on last night. I checked." I say, hoping this will be enough to kill his dreams of escaping.

"I'll go insane if I have to see you set foot in that arena again." he tells me.

"Insane?" I question him. "That's quite a statement you made Gale Hawthorne."

"You weren't even here do see me the during the last one. I lost it, Katniss. Ask my mom and she'll tell you. Had to call your mom over to try to find something to calm me down."

"What do you think my chances are of me winning the Quell?" I ask with curiosity.

"I don't even want to have to consider that question."

"Well you'll have to eventually. I'm the only female victor." I tell him.

"Katniss, I love you." he murmurs. I'm not sure how I should reply.

"I know." I respond with the only words that will come to me. I can't say I love him too without him taking it the wrong way, thinking of it as some big declaration. The truth is I do love him. Maybe not in the romantic way, but definitely in the way when one cares for another. I shift our bodies and place my face on his chest with my ear right over his heart.

In the process of listening to his heartbeat, I must have lulled off to sleep because when my eyes open, the sunlight is brighter in my room. Gale has remained underneath me and is currently brushing his fingers through my loose waves. I shift slightly to let him no longer asleep. We lay in silence until the sound of my stomach rumbling disrupts the peace.

"Hungry?" he asks.

"Mmm-hmm." I mumble. He scoots out from under me.

"What would you like Miss Everdeen?" he asks, resting his chin on the mattress, near my own face.

"Surprise me." I answer back. I'm not really sure what Gale's skills are when it comes to food preparation. He's a hunter. He locates and gathers food. He leaves the rest to others. Once he leaves the room, I scoot further up the bed and lay my head on a pillow, bringing the covers closer to my body. Gale returns a while later with a tray full of random foods on plates. I can't help but laugh at his selection. A cook he is not. He tries to hide it but I know my reaction has hurt him.

"I'm sorry." I quickly apologize.

"Sorry I'm not as talented as your fiancé." he cuts back. It was only a matter of time before he'd bring that up again.

"He's not my fiancé." I correct him.

"Looks that way." he says, taking my ringed hand in his.

"Things aren't always what they seem to be. You know that."

"At least you won't have to go through with the wedding." he huffs.

"What do you mean?"

"One of you isn't making it out alive. Pretty hard to have a wedding with one of the participants in a coffin." he says, getting dark about it. A slap him in response. This isn't something you joke about.

"Which one of us will be in the coffin?" I quip, since he finds this so funny.

"Won't be you." he says, plopping a berry in his mouth. "Peeta Mellark barely made it out of the first one. He has no chance. Too many liabilities…that bad leg of his and you."

"What about me?"

"He'd do anything to keep you alive."

"I'm not really sure why."

"You are so oblivious." he says with a snicker.

"About what?" I ask, my anger growing. I never let anything get by me. Ever.

"About the effect you have on men. You leave quite an impression."

"Not with him."

"I'd be surprised if he wasn't in love with you too."

"It was just an act."

"You sure about that?" he asks. There is a silence as I try to piece together everything about Peeta and I. Now I'm really confused.

"Get out." I mutter calmly, not making eye contact. He doesn't budge. I look to him and push him towards the edge of the bed. "I said leave."

"Katniss." he sighs as if I'm overreacting. "Fine I'm sorry."

"Why would you even say that?"

"Because I'm jealous as hell." he admits.

"He's probably the last person I'd think you'd be jealous of." I admit.

"Why wouldn't I be jealous of him? He has the thing I want the most." he says closing the space between us. His words and proximity make me uncomfortable.

"A fake leg?" I say, making a stupid joke that isn't remotely funny.

"You." Gale replies, his face a few inches from mine. That bubbly feeling returns in my chest and I try to do everything I can to suppress it. He must be feeling bold today because he lets his lips connect with mine. I let them linger for a few seconds before doing anything about it. I inch myself away from him creating enough space for our lips to part.

"We can't be friends if you keep on doing that." I tell him.

"Good, I don't want to be friends." he says, advancing closer to me. I duck out of the way, knowing that if he tries it again, I might not have the willpower to stop.

"I don't want that from you." I lie, hoping I said it convincingly enough.

"It would help if you weren't so damn charming."

"Charming? Me?" I puff in disbelief. "Gale, I'm awkward. I never know the right things to say. I'm average at best."

"You don't really believe that." he mutters.

"I wouldn't say it if it weren't true."

"You're the Girl on Fire. A boring person doesn't get a name like that."

"It's just a stupid nickname."

"I think it's pretty accurate." he tells me. I can feel my body shaking in anticipation, secretly wanting him to do things to me that I would never admit. If I'm the Girl on Fire, then he has to be the Boy on Fire. He creates a spark in me, igniting me, letting the fire spread. How do you extinguish these kinds of flames, the invisible ones that are concealed from view? If I knew the answer, I'd quickly take the remedy. Maybe an ice cold shower will help to quench the fire raging inside me. I excuse myself, quite awkwardly, grabbing some clothes from my dresser before locking myself in the bathroom.

I quickly strip myself free of any clothing and set the shower to the coldest setting available. To be honest, I'm surprised the Capitol even made this setting, perhaps for citizens who are in the same situation I find myself. The icy jets pierce my skin like a hundred needles but I am no longer thinking about the things I want to do to Gale Hawthorne. I stay in there until I have returned to normal and then warm the water to take a proper shower. Jets of warm air dry my body once I'm finished and I dress myself for the day.

When I enter the room, I find if empty. I've embarrassed him again, rejecting his affections. I make my way downstairs, being careful to avoid him. I then figure he's probably in the guest room, the one place he can find solitude here. I want to see him to apologize. I'm not sure what I want to apologize about but it's really just an excuse to make sure he's ok. I turn the knob to his room but find it empty. That's weird. I thought for sure he would be here.

I walk into the kitchen and find my mother inventorying her medical supplies, drowning herself in her work to try to cope with the fact that I'm going to be in the Quell.

"Where's Gale?" I ask, walking further into the room.

"He went home."

"But his back!" I exclaim.

"It's healed enough, Katniss. Besides, you know there's no stopping that boy when he's determined."

"Determined for what?" I ask confused.

"Said he wanted to return to the mines as soon as possible."

"Why would he want that?" I ask.

"To provide for his family."

"But we've been helping them; making sure they had food and money while he was out of work." I say.

"You know how proud he is." my mother responds. It's true, I do know how he is in that way, but I have a feeling there are other reasons involved with his decision. I can't shake that I'm part of the reason for his early return. He wants to put as much distance between us as he can. Even if that means returning to a place that he hates. Anything to escape me.

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**Don't forgot to review ;) and also to check out my two new stories I am working on (Into the Great Unknown and Dotted Lines)! Thanks**


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry for the long time between updates! I have 2 other stories I'm working on right now. Anyway, there is another time jump to after the Quarter Quell. **

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Chapter 25

I did it. I won…again. Somehow. Only this time there wasn't another victor coming home with me. Peeta died early on, after hitting an invisible force field. Finnick tried to save him but he just couldn't. Finnick was actually amazing, nothing like I'd thought he'd be from seeing him from previous Games. He protected me in the Arena until the end when it was just the two of us. He kept me somewhere safe until the Gamemakers sent mutts after him.

It hasn't been easy since I've returned to District 12. I haven't left my bed in the past few weeks and I have no intention of doing so. I also have someone in the room with me at all times. Prim usually takes mornings, Merrick afternoons, and Gale spends the night with me after his shifts in the mines. I hate that he comes here when he should be spending time with his family. He's the only one that can seem to get me out of the nightmares that come with the darkness. Tonight is particularly bad with the late night thunderstorm. The lightning lights up the room, reminding me of the midnight lighting that came nightly in the Arena.

"Peeta!" I scream into the dim room as I'm ripped from another nightmare. My whole body shakes violently when I realize he's not here.

"Catnip, you're in District 12, in your room." Gale says, embracing me as he whispers into my ear. I look around and see I am indeed in my room.

"They killed him." I cry, burying my face into his chest. I melt into him and he continues to comfort me.

"He'd want it this way. He'd be happy your safe." he murmurs.

"I want him here." I say as tears stream down my face.

"I know." he murmurs. "What can I do to make you happy?" I don't reply. "What if went hunting tomorrow, like we used to?"

"It's Saturday…you have to work."

"I'll take off for the day." he tells me.

"No." I forcefully tell him. The last thing he needs is to miss a day's wages because of me, especially since he won't take any of my money.

"You can't hide away in here forever, Catnip." he says in response. "You're alive…all those people made sure you came out of there alive. Don't let their deaths be in vain." he whispers in my ear before leaving the room. I'm not sure where he's going or whether he will come back. I close my eyes and wish I had something for the pain, be it liquor or morphling. The latter is difficult to come by and the former would require a visit to Haymitch, something I am not quite sure I'm ready for. Last time we were together, he could barely keep his composure. I never knew Peeta's death would have such an effect on him. Peeta Mellark is just that kind of guy. He stays with you even long after he's gone.

I wake up with Merrick lying close to me, stroking the hair on my temple. My eyes meet his, his blue eyes reflecting the pain and worry inside of him. I haven't been fair to him. I've basically shut him out, using only a few words to answer his questions or just not saying anything at all. I'm not sure why he's still here…why he hasn't given up on me yet.

"If I make you something to eat, will you eat it?" he softly asks me. I gently shake my head. His hand moves down my body and grazes my ribcage. "You're too thin, Katniss." I know I am. It's not like I haven't been this thin before. "They'll send you away if you don't fix this."

"They don't care about us." I softly reply.

"The Victory Tour is in a few months. You'll never last with as weak as you are now. They'll do something to make you look how you used to. Maybe even alter you."

I shudder when he mentions this. The last thing I want is for the Capitol to get their hands on me and permanently alter me so I fit their vision of beauty. Cinna fought so hard to prevent that from happening. My eyes tear up again. He didn't make it either.

I can't see much through my veil of tears but I can feel Merrick's lips meet mine as he kisses me. Even with all the pain and numbness I've been feeling, his kisses are he one thing that can make me feel something positive. I move my lips gently against his, reciprocating his kiss for the first time since I've been home. His hand traces down my body until it rest on my hip, gently stroking my skin between my shorts and shirt. He doesn't go any further although part of me wishes he would. When he's finished, he lies on his back, pulling me with him so my head is resting on his chest. I wrap my arm around his torso for a better hold on him. His hand traces patterns on my back as we lay in the silence.

"Why are you still with me?" I ask quietly.

"Because I love you." he answer.

"But I'm broken."

"I still love you." he replies. "I'll always love you."

"Even if I don't get better?"

"Even then…but you will." he says. He still has faith in me….that I can overcome this.

"I don't know how to get better."

"Well you're not going to get better laying in his bed all day, refusing food. You need to try Katniss." he murmurs calmly.

"I'm not ready yet." I tell him. I feel exhaustion hit me again. I'm not sure if I am tired or if the depression is taking over once again. I close my eyes and breath him in, his scent calming me. He's the one comfort I have. I let myself fall away into the oblivion, safe in his arms.

I woken by a knock on my door but I do not open my eyes. I lay there, holding onto Merrick. He has other plans. He gently moves from under me and answers the door. I hear another pair of feet scuffle into the room.

"How is she?" I hear a voice, belonging to Gale, ask right off the bat.

"Sleeping."

"She's always sleeping…or lying there." Gale comments.

"It's going to take a while." Merrick explains.

"Yeah, you wait for her to come around and you'll be waiting the rest of your life. She needs a push."

"I don't think it's right that we force her into anything." Merrick disagrees. As I listen to them talk to one another and wonder how long the two have been working together. Gale hates Merrick, always has, probably always will. How did these two even start to become friendly with one another?

"I've seen this behavior before; not from her, from her mother. I remember the talks we'd have about how she tried to get her mother out of bed but she'd just lie there, closed off from the world. I'll be damned it I let her fall into that same pattern." Gale says with fervor.

"You try your way; I'll try mine." Merrick compromises.

"Doesn't it kill you seeing her this way, because it's tearing me apart watching her waste away like this. She's so much more than this. She's always been strong."

"Of course it is!" Merrick says matching Gale's frustration. "But I don't know what to do. People our age shouldn't have to deal with things like this. We don't know enough to know what to do."

"I don't know how it is in District 2 but shit like this happens all the time in District 12. Makes you grow up pretty fast." Gales says, taking a jab at Merrick's background.

"I better go. I'll say goodbye to her first." Merrick says as his footstep draw near. I feel his weight on the mattress and his hand rubbing my shoulder as he whispers my name. I flutter my eyes to make it appear that I am just waking up.

"Hmm?" I mutter.

"Gale's here. I'm going to head home now." he informs me before kissing me one last time. I can tell Gale's glaring at me, even though I cannot see him. I end the kiss before it can go too far and tell Merrick I'll see him tomorrow. Once Merrick is out of the room, Gale approaches me with a container in his hand. He slides off his shoes and places the container and a spoon on the side table before joining me. Gale uses a gesture to let me know he wants me to sit up and for some reason, I do. He takes the pillow I've been resting on and places it against the headboard. I scoot back until my back is resting against it.

"Stopped by the Hob after work, bought some soup from Sae's stand." he says removing the lid from the container. He then scoops up some stew on the spoon and holds it in front of my mouth. I accept the bite allowing the flavors to dance inside my mouth. It's the first food I've had in days. He goes to scoop another bite but I object.

"I can do it myself." I say, taking the bowl and spoon away from him. Something about his earlier comment has sparked something inside me. Maybe it's the fact that I never want to be like how my mother was all those years ago. I scarf down the meal in front of me, my hunger taken over. I hear Gale chortle and look up to see him with a smirk on his face.

"What?" I ask him.

"What happened to all those Capitol manners you picked up?" he asks. I roll my eyes at him. He knows how much I despised Effie and her rules of etiquette. When I finish my stew, he takes the empty bowl and spoon and places it on the table. He then scoots closer to me and puts his arm around my shoulders while the other rests in his lap. I reach over and brush my fingers down his arm.

"How do you get the coal dust off?" I question him. I've yet to see him fresh from the mines, covered in remnants of coal from his hard day's work. I know from my childhood that my father would come home with barely any skin showing through the sooty mineral. I wonder what Gale looks like after emerging from the dark mine shafts.

"Lots of scrubbing." he tells me.

"Is it bad down there?" I quietly ask him.

"Once you get adjusted to it, it's not so bad." he says, clearly lying to me.

"Adjusted how?" I pry for more.

"It's dark down there…very dim. Took a while for my eyes to adjust. And I coughed a lot in the beginning."

"You shouldn't be breathing in that air at all." I argue.

"I'm careful." he says.

"I don't like you down there."

"Well I don't have much of a choice, now do I, Katniss?" he says with a serious tone. "We can't always have what we want. It's the only legal job in District 12, you know that."

"Are you ever scared?"

"Sometimes, when I think of Dad."

"You and Merrick seem chummy." I say, changing the subject.

"No we just care about you. I'm not his friend Katniss."

"And you never could be." I say with a sigh.

"No and you know why. One day he'll do something."

"He's harmless, Gale."

"I guess with Peeta out of the picture you're free to be with whomever you want." he says.

"Guess so. I hadn't really thought about that."

"You think the Peacekeepers will like you hanging out with him?"

"It will be fine."

"And what about his father, when he finds out his son is dating the girl that stood between him finishing me off. What do you think will happen then?"

"I…I don't know." I respond. I never thought about that. The last thing I want is to keep our relationship a secret, as we've been doing for the past few years.

"Katniss, his father could do something to you. He's the Head Peacekeeper." he says, caressing my face.

"What's the worst he could do? I'm a public figure. People would notice." I try to reason with him.

"He had no problem whipping your back until it was black and blue."

"He had no idea who I was either. I'm sure Victors are off limits." I try to reassure him. "You should go home."

"Catnip—" he starts.

"I'm not mad. You should be with your family. I'm sure Posy is missing you terribly."

"They understand."

"I want to see how I'd do one night by myself. I'm not going to get any better if I have people coddling me all the time." I reason with him.

"I like sleeping next to you." he admits, creating more tension.

"What do I need to do to get my way?"

"Hunting tomorrow." he says, placing his offer on the table.

"Ok." I reply, knowing there is no bargaining with him.

"Usual spot. 9 a.m." he says springing off my bed. He stuffs his feet back into his shoes and leaves. Once he's gone I can't help but think, '_What have I gotten myself into_?'


End file.
